Hey! I'm new around this place and just got to know of it on my grand adventures of trying to start out my dream job. I have an idea for a show for about ten years. I got the characters ready but the plot keeps changing. I feel like I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to writing and need my mind to be taught a lesson by someone. Lol.
But in all I would love to hear an opinion from someone else besides my family. Thanks.
Can you tell us a little more about the show?
So the show is about a Angel trying to save a demon's life before he is executed. But the demon goes on to say that demons were created as creatures of suffering and despair. With saying this he says to the Angel there is no hope for saving him.
And so on the day of the execution the demon sees the angel in the front row. She talks with the demon but this time she has an unknown force controlling her to say it but be more power and force. With her words it finally gets to the demon which he breaks out of his chains and destroys the executioner's blade. The demon and Angel then fight off the people in charge of the execution.
This is where I'm left thinking.
The Plot/Execution: I like the part where the demon told the angel that he can't be saved but I feel like there's need to be more dialogue or moments before we get to the execution scene.
Religion: I don't mind the plot feeling a little religious but I also don't want to overflow it and make people I'm creating an agenda about a certain religion. Even though this series has a backstory of a Man turning into a God that reforms the world for him to help people at their lowest life. I'm a Christian man but don't want my story getting too much about Religion.
Thanks for hearing it out.
Bonsoir, I went to film school and I've written fictional and documentary scripts for shorts. If you want help with formatting let me know (there is a good script writing software called Celtix that you might wanna look into).
In terms of the story, it's going to feel religious regardless of whether you want it too or not if you're using ideas found only in religion. Either you lean into it (eg. good omens), subvert existing Christian myths/ideas (eg. midnight mass), or risk it feeling like it was written by an edgy 13 year old (eg. death note).
The other thing you need to ask yourself before you start is if YOU are the one who should be telling this story or if the story could have a more nuanced approach if it incorporated the perspective of someone else. Unfortunately, Christian and Christian-adjacent stuff has been done to death, it can be incredibly hard to provide any sort of new ideas.
This story could be interesting if it focused on religious deconstruction or on the kinds of beings (not necessarily angles and demons) that are found in the old testament. Or maybe on the realisation of how lonely and infuriating being a god must be if your creations constantly disobey you (this has also been done before though in tv, eg. the first season of miracle workers).
Also, don't know if you've already done this but it helps to read scripts. When I went into film school I had a traditional writing background which really didn't help when it came to writing scripts. I had to unlearn a bunch of stuff really quickly for ideas that made sense in novel form to make sense in script form. At the moment your idea seems like an idea for a novel not for a tv show, I'm not sure if it would translate well onto the screen.
If you want to make a job out of screenwriting you have to consider the market for a story and if it will translate onto screen with actors and sets and budgeting. There's a reason many novel adaptations fail as movies and tv shows. Novels aren't designed for tv shows, and tv shows aren't designed for novels.
Sorry if this seems a bit harsh
Thanks for advice and it's no where near harsh in my opinion. I just feel like I might be in the wrong community but this was sort of what I was looking for. I do want to start my career making this idea as a novel/Manga/Comic because that was my first dream. And I would later in life move on from this dream to start in Animation. So that's why the story sounds like a novel.
Also I didn't want to give the full story for everyone to see but the demon also says he doesn't want to be a Demon lord anymore.
Thanks for the advice.
I'd honestly be down to rp something like this. It sounds really cool!