forum i need some judgment
Started by @RainClouds_Itachi_
tune

people_alt 40 followers

@RainClouds_Itachi_

ok so i wrote a short-ish backstory for one of my characters and i just wanna know if it's good????
bc,, idk, i like, but i wrote it so i might just be a little biased-
so uh, yeah. it'd be great if you could tell me if it's interesting, and give me some critiques too!

sksksk, i feel awkward bc i feel like it's kinda trash but-
i'm proud of my trash i hope you like it-

@Periwinkle_

Hiiii! So I only noticed a few things:

  • the biggest thing is that the story is a bit confusing. I only learned during the fight that everyone in the family was part animal. Even then I didn’t know exactly what was happening when it was happening. Try telling a bit more that you have been; you rely very much on showing.
  • the story seemed to be a bit fast paced, which is okay for the fight scene, but probably not for the rest. This can be fixed very easily, just add a bit more information about little character quirks and relationships at the beginning so that people that read the story will really believe that those characters are here to stay.

All that being said, this was so great. I could really feel Carmen’s pain, and Austin is so cuuute!!!