how do I write in a romance subplot if ive never had a SO or had a crush???
WHhat does having a crush feel like?
How do I write it?????
do I just not write it in???????????????
but it helps move the character development along so much!!!!
please please help me im so so sooooooo lost.
Are you aro?
…………. yeah.
Im trying to have one of the characters be aro and the other be panromantic/ sexual, but that’s hard when im aro. So here I am, asking how to write romance.
Okay. I would suggest asking people either irl or on here about their experiences. If you’d like, I can tell you about my crush, how I told them, and how we are handling it. I haven’t ever been in a relationship so I can’t help you there. I actually do a lot of guessing from the various clues I’ve picked up on what are good or bad relationships (healthy/unhealthy).
read a SHIT TON of fanfiction
of the shipping variety
the authors of those often do a very god job of writing their romances, and fanfiction is much easier to read then all the romance novels you actually have to go to the library to obtain
But yeah: see how other people write romance, and then use that to help you
Having a crush is kinda like stalking someone. You automatically know when they're around you (until you do something stupid). You obsess over their face in your head and code-name them with your friends. IDK how to explain it :)
You notice little things like the way they say grandma, or tuck in their shirt or laugh of rub their eyes etc.
Can't really help you with the romance part, but when you have a crush usually some sort of lime light suddenly gets shown on the person, like even if they're not super pretty they become more beautiful in your eyes. I believe one phrase to describe it is 'looking through rose-colored glasses'? Like to others they might not be all that, but everything postive about them gets hieghtened to you and it takes your breath away.
Personally I was normal friends with my crush for years, but when i realized that i'd developed a crush my heart would suddenly start to speed up around him & when we talked. I also got slightly flustered sometimes when talking but he was dense as a brick wall so he didn't notice. Now I wouldn't personally day dream about him 24/7 but there were times i would think about his face and get kinda flustered. I will say the noticing small things about them is accurate. This could be something insignificant they said like what their favorite dog breed is, or noticing something like how the sun dances off their face and how their eyes beam & glow when talking about a certain subject.
I wouldn't really equate having a crush to being a stalker. You ARE more aware of them and their presence when they're around, but stalking would suggest you follow them around all the time & watch them while also learning everything about them on an obsessive and unhealthy level. Depending on the person some crushes can lead to stalking but that's something to talk about for another time.
There's more to them than that like how sometimes your chest gets a little tighter and there's butterflies in the stomach, but I'm not sure how to describe it all. My best advice would be to ask people for their firsthand experiences. Romance novels aren't always that great a read, and sometimes fanfics are overexaggerated and written by people with no experience who obviously didn't do any research (Not to say all of them are like this but there's a lot that are pretty unrealistic and you get stuff like "I stared into his gleaming orbs that were as deep as the ocean and he stared into mine. In that moment a spark happened between us & we both knew we were meant to be". When you can firsthand (especially when given from other experienced writers) is best.
Sorry this turned into a mini essay lol :P
(Note this is all from my personal experience so I can't really speak for others. Also i'm Ace so take this with a grain of salt I guess? can't speak on the sexual attraction part but i'm told it's actually a thing in some cases)
Seriously. It's a lifesaver when it comes to writing about romantic aspects that you haven't experienced. It's what I used for writing all the time before I experienced romance myself. If you give me a list of fandoms you're in and things you ship, I can make you a list of the best fanfictions out there for those ships.
I actually have trouble writing romance myself. Not because I don't know how it feels, but because it's more difficult to write romance between my own characters than it is to write it between other people's characters. To combat that, I replace my character's names with the names of characters I ship who have similar personalities to my characters. It helps me a lot.
Also, here are a few basic things to keep in mind when writing romance. Like, some things you might want to include in certain scenes
When a romantic scene is intense, but not sexual…
When a romantic scene is warm/fluffy…
When a romantic scene is sexual…
I appreciate all the advice, It's really helpful. I appreciate the lists and i'll look through the fanfiction that I already have saved since I know I have a whole lot. thank you!
lol, ive read smut, im not that innocent, but that wasnt gonna come up in the book anyway
lmaooo okay
I hope I could help!
Hi everyone! I'm ace so I can't help…BUT WAIT I CAN!
I THINK being in love is like having an OTP. You think about them all the time, their face is the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing before you fall asleep. Every time you think about them your heart starts to soar and you start giggling weirdly.
I don't think I helped much but :/
@ladyawesome thank you for the advice! That helps believe it or not lol