forum Editing help

Started January 13, 2019 by @Knight-Shives group

tune

I wrote a story a while ago and it is almost complete and upload to wattpad, can I have help editing it.

What kind of editing?

Story editing, mostly grammar. I was writing a story for my friend to cringe read and she made me write a romance story, but in this case Romance is a loose term. She had given me dead lines for each chapter, and well they are very awful grammatically and I also believe I made errors in words. That type of editing.

I can do proofreading! Altho it would be easier to do if you put it on a google document and posted a link here..

ok

:3

So I went through it, and being polite here, It's a bit abrupt and chunky. There doesn't seem to be any rythm and some of the events; namely the deaths of Oswald and Edward… Those came outta nowhere….

Here is the plot line (Most of it was written by a friend of mine)

Chick marries dude
dude cheated on chick when engaged. with twin sister
chick kills dude
twin is blamed
Chick meets detective
chick dates casses lead detective
detective confused if he should turn her in or not once finds out truth
chick murders detective
CHick finds out about triplet.

In the end it is a unknown abbandoned triplet who killed everyone and planted evidence.
(The girls were triplets but the mother couldn't keep all of them so she put one up for adoption. All her life this girl was abused mentally and physically. She killed her adopted parents when she was fed up with it all. Soon after she tracked down her birth family. soon she saw an opertunity for revenge.)

Oswald the secatary gets killed by ed after he becomes suspicious
(Corner of desk makes it look like an accident. kills while talking to isabelle on phone)(Maybe we should do the Stapler and end with this)
Goes to hospital with Oswald (who is comatose)
Oswald flat lines while they are in there

Wow… Ok well one thing you might wanna work on is leading smoothly into a plot point.. Don't just have it happen out of nowhere. Secondly you might wanna work on dialogue. Note that human's in real life do NOT have impeccable grammer.
Also: Please note I am in no way a professional writer okay? I'm just a really good reader who has had lessons on proofreading…

Oh and you might also wanna be a bit more descriptive.. Some of the questions I had while reading it were about what the places looked like? what did Edward and Isabelle look like? what did the other characters look like? ect.

Alright. Yeah all of the chapters were written in a span of like two weeks. I believe like one chapter a day.

Yeah I need to add that stuff in.

Want to maybe harshly judge a story I wrote two years ago then abandoned because I got stuck. I knew how I wanted the story to go. But I didn't know where I was going with it.

At most you just need to take an Iron to the plot so you aren't jolting the reader when something happens with no context leading up to it.
But honestly it's your choice, and I'd be really interested in seeing how it plays out too!

Yeah, I need to work on that story.

Want to maybe harshly judge a story I wrote two years ago then abandoned because I got stuck. I knew how I wanted the story to go. But I didn't know where I was going with it.

Sure!

Awsome, give me a moment to transfer it to a doc.

OK!

I'm hooked… And you need to finish it..

I Know, It was better than my other stories I have written (Expecilly detail wise) I was just having trouble continuing.

well plot is a tricky thing.. Usually what I do is have something random, but natural happen. like if one of my characters has been pondering something while doing a lookout shift maybe a villain attacks or there is a rustle in the bushes or somone else gets up saying they can't sleep for some reason etc..

Yeah. I will probably add more later today.

Good luck!