forum Advice for my book

Started July 14, 2018 by @Sugar-Lover

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I would like some advice for my book, my plot: A theater kid, Juliana, who is known one the stage, but not so much off it. Juliana or Jules has a best friend, Jack, since she was six. Jack, or Jackson, has been through thick and thin with her. The greatest example would be when she was eight her mom died, and when she was eleven her dad happily remarried. Jack is also a theater kid who is extremely geeky. One time while onstage, Joshua – Juliana's long time crush – notices her beauty onstage and asks her out, with Jack being unknowingly. They go out a couple of times as friends, they start to spend more time together, which comes with the affect of her spending less time with Jack. The lack of time spent between the best friends causes Jack to come across his feelings towards Jules. As he planes to tell her about his feelings, Jules and Joshua kiss. Jules rushes to tell her best friend, this is her first kiss. Jack manages to confess before she can speak, startled she agrees she has the same feelings toward him. As she thinks about the topic she realizes she has actually had the same feelings toward him. Confused she no longer knows which boy screams love louder in her head.

Sometime later Juliana gets into a car accident, ends up in the hospital unconscious. She wakes up, still very unstable. Sadly she dies while still in the hospital unable to recover. Jackson and Joshua both realize that they weren't truly in love with Jules but instead in love with each other. The fall in love, wishing they had found this out before Juliana had died, so she could have gotten a true chance at love.

Juliana- Charlotte Holly
Jackson- Jackson Coletti
Joshua- Myles Weston

Any advice for my book? Any is helpful thank you.

I find Jack and Joshua’s finding they love each other a bit unexpected, especially since Jack grew up with Juliana, through thick and thin as you say. I can’t imagine the feelings Jack developed for Juliana during this time actually being a misplaced crush on Joshua. But I’m not familiar with love triangles so someone else might have better advice on that.

I would recommend you change one or two characters’ names, since they all start with J and your reader may grow confused, especially between the two boys.

Juliana nickname is Gem

So basically while during a school play Joshua noticed Gem and Jack acting onstage, he noticed how they were interacting with each other. He got jealous of them and all he knew was he wanted those two to be separated. He thought his feelings were that he liked Jules and wanted Jack away from her, but instead it was the other way around.

With the lack of time spent between Jack and Gem, Jack feels jealous of how much time is being spent between Joshua and Jules. He feels he likes Jules, instead he likes Joshua.

After Jules dies they both realize they have the same feelings even after shes gone, and that the feelings were meant for each other and not her.