forum Critiquing needed!

Started February 02, 2018 by @mistress-0f-n0ne

tune

Hi! I'm starting on a new universe any and all critiques would be appreciated.

Hello!
I really enjoyed the originality of your idea and I'm really hoping you end up writing it. I don't really have critiques just questions.
(1) How did the people who don't know they are in simulations get there? Was there some sort of hunger games like reaping? Did they volunteer for money?
(2) You said G.A.M.E.S. is used for training soldiers and that it has real life implications. How does that work? I can understand people having mental changes because of the simulation, but how would their physique be effected?
What I read made me want to read the whole book and I'm typically not a huge fan of sci-fi. So, I think you have a really good universe. Keep at it!

Thank you for your advice. I'll keep your questions in mind when trying to write this.

I really enjoyed your development of your character Louise. She seemed like a real person and someone whom I would enjoy reading about. You made her real, yet different. I love the acronym G.A.M.E.S. and what it stands for. You seem to have developed your idea very well. I think what is missing is an overall view of the every day life of not only the people watching the simulations as entertainment but also of the people in the G.A.M.E.S. Also, is there any sort of revolution here? Does Louise fight back against the G.A.M.E.S.? Is there an evil controlling government? What is the end goal of the story? I know that Louise wants to survive and that seems like a good short term goal…but where is the story going?
But then again that critique is based more on the story not necessarily the universe. As far as your world and universe, I think it's wonderful! You should def keep this going!