And I am here to clear them up.
I will destroy your underconfidence if it's the last thing I do, because I love you, dangit.
- Ask me for advice about situations you're stuck in. I will try to help
- If you don't know whether a thought is rational or irrational, I will try to help identify it
- I am not a therapist. I will not always have the answer. But imma try >:( You can't escape my attempts to help you. I am inevitable.
Gimma a hot sec and I will destroy some assumptions in a new post. And they are backed up by seven editions, two PhD's and an MSW. (None of which are mine)
Mistaken traditional assumptions and your legitimate rights, as stated by The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook 7th edition:
| Bad: It is selfish to put your needs before others. |
Good: You have a right to put yourself first sometimes. |
| Bad: It is shameful to make mistakes. You should have an appropriate response to every situation. |
Good: You have every right to make mistakes. |
| Bad: If you can't convince others that your feelings are reasonable, then the feeling must be wrong, or maybe you are going crazy. |
Good: You have the right to be the final judge of your feelings and accept them as legitimate. |
| Bad: You should respect the views of others, especially if they are in a position of authority. |
Good: You have a right to your own opinions and convictions. |
| Bad: You should always try to be logical and consistent. |
Good: You have a right to change your mind or decide on a different course of action. |
| Bad: You should be flexible and adjust. Others have good reasons for their actions and it's not polite to question them. |
Good: You have a right to protest unfair treatment and criticism. |
| Bad: You should never interrupt people. Asking questions reveals your stupidity to others. |
Good: You have a right to interrupt in order to ask for clarification. |
| Bad: Things could get even worse, don't rock the boat. |
Good: You have a right to negotiate for change. |
| Bad: You shouldn't take up other's valuable time with your problems. |
Good: You have a right to ask for help or emotional support. |
| Bad: People don't want to hear that you feel bad, so keep it to yourself. |
Good: You have a right to feel and express pain. |
| Bad: When someone takes the time to give you advice, you should take it very seriously. They are often right. |
Good: You have a right to ignore the advice of others. |
| Bad: Knowing you did something well is it's own reward. People don't like show offs. Successful people are secretly disliked and envied. Be modest when complimented. |
Good: You have the right to receive formal recognition for your work and achievements. |
| Bad: You should try to accommodate others. If you don't they won't be there when you need them. |
Good: You have a right to say no. |
| Bad: Don't be antisocial, people will think you don't like them if you say you'd rather be alone than with them. |
Good: You have the right to be alone even if others would like your company. |
| Bad: You should always have a good reason for doing what you do. |
Good: You don't have any obligation to justify yourself to others. |
| Bad: When someone is in trouble, you should help them. |
Good: You have a right to not take responsibility for someone else's problem. You always have a choice. |
| Bad: You should be sensitive to the needs and wants of others, even when they are unable to tell you what the want. |
Good: You have a right not to anticipate others' needs and wishes. |
| Bad: It's always a good policy to stay on people's good sides. |
Good: You have a right not to always worry about the goodwill of others. |
| Bad: It's not nice to put other people off. If questioned, give an answer. |
Good: You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation. |
(These are backed up by my own testing them out. They are nice to follow, can confirm. Basically this book just wants everyone to be a chaotic neutral. Do what you want. Eat string cheese how you will. Society may look and scoff, but they are sheep. Laugh at their weakness.)
