forum Want a new exciting read?

Started August 08, 2018 by @IconicUsername

tune

So hey, I have a book I'm writing, and I'd love some beta readers. ^.^

I'm here dude!

Ooh, I’m interested

https://1drv.ms/w/s!AlSfXyIGGjFIggV1tjjrxEot6fSR

So this is the view link. If you have any comments you want to make on anything, comment here. I'd love it if you could do a little review of every chapter so I know what thoughts I'm getting and what to make better.

Can i join in?

Alright! It's almost my bedtime, so I will comment tomorrow!

Can i join in?

Sure! ^.^ I'd as many beta readers as I can get, honestly.

Alright! It's almost my bedtime, so I will comment tomorrow!

Night o/

So I haven’t read it all yet, but I would recommend more paragraphs. There should be new ones when there’s a new character introduces, someone speaks, and a few other things. You don’t want readers looking at big blocks of text. It’ll hurt their head and they’ll not want to read it anymore if it’s not broken up correctly. It’s a common mistake and I can say I did the same for a while.

Also I’ll finish reading in the morning, I have to get to bed myself.

Is it possible to comment inline? It's just veeeeery hard to give feedback on things like small grammatical issues on a completely different webpage.

Like, imagine there's a missing apostrophe on page 7, paragraph 4 on the second use of the word 'books'. First the commenter needs to go to all the effort of identifying where it is, and then you need to put in more effort to find the place they're talking about. If they can show that inline, not only is it less work for them and for you, but you also won't have subsequent readers telling you about the same issue, because if they go to comment on it inline they'll see the previous comment already there.

(For example, I wanted to let you know that using toward or towards is entirely a dialectal difference and it doesn't matter which one you use as long as you're consistent. That is unless the particular publishing house you want to submit to has a style guide with a particular preference.)

If you only want feedback on overarching issues like plot and characterisation, feel free to disregard this question.

Is it possible to comment inline? It's just veeeeery hard to give feedback on things like small grammatical issues on a completely different webpage.

Like, imagine there's a missing apostrophe on page 7, paragraph 4 on the second use of the word 'books'. First the commenter needs to go to all the effort of identifying where it is, and then you need to put in more effort to find the place they're talking about. If they can show that inline, not only is it less work for them and for you, but you also won't have subsequent readers telling you about the same issue, because if they go to comment on it inline they'll see the previous comment already there.

(For example, I wanted to let you know that using toward or towards is entirely a dialectal difference and it doesn't matter which one you use as long as you're consistent. That is unless the particular publishing house you want to submit to has a style guide with a particular preference.)

If you only want feedback on overarching issues like plot and characterisation, feel free to disregard this question.

The only way to do that would be for me to give you an edit link, and having several other people on edit mode just to comment is extremely unconventional for both me and Word. I could try transferring the document to Google Docs.

So I haven’t read it all yet, but I would recommend more paragraphs. There should be new ones when there’s a new character introduces, someone speaks, and a few other things. You don’t want readers looking at big blocks of text. It’ll hurt their head and they’ll not want to read it anymore if it’s not broken up correctly. It’s a common mistake and I can say I did the same for a while.

Can you be more specific with this? Where exactly are you seeing this problem?

So I’ve noticed that anytime you introduced a character, you would describe their looks. It might be better to reveal information about them subtly as the story continues instead of a big dump of character descriptions.

So I haven’t read it all yet, but I would recommend more paragraphs. There should be new ones when there’s a new character introduces, someone speaks, and a few other things. You don’t want readers looking at big blocks of text. It’ll hurt their head and they’ll not want to read it anymore if it’s not broken up correctly. It’s a common mistake and I can say I did the same for a while.

Can you be more specific with this? Where exactly are you seeing this problem?

Everywhere. Let me show you a general example.
“This is what you don’t want” she said. Her mother brought out some cookies for the group and then left again. “This is boring” he added. “I can’t read this because it’s a big block of text and it’s a little intimidating” the third justified. “Nobody will want to read this because it’s so big. It’s like a robot speaking.” She clarified.

“This is better” She said.
He stepped out from the shadows and spoke, “I would actually want to read this”
“I agree. This is much less intimidating” the third agreed.
The group sat down at a table to further discuss the topic.

See the difference? Also this was very rushed so don’t mind any spelling or grammar errors because, yes I do realize they are there. Hope this helped.

See, I'm confused because this is the type of thing that I've been consciously watching myself when I'm writing. Unless the same person is speaking, I always make sure to start a new paragraph, that's why I'm asking where you're finding this problem.

So I’ve noticed that anytime you introduced a character, you would describe their looks. It might be better to reveal information about them subtly as the story continues instead of a big dump of character descriptions.

Thanks, I'll take it into consideration.

One thing I noticed was a lot of "flowery language" back to back during the description of the necklace. I understand wanting to use a lot of descriptive/fancy words is fun, but sometimes less is more. What i do is look at my writing and ask "what is the minimum amount of words I can use to describe this?" Looking at the other extreme can help bring your writing to "the middle ground" so to speak and find a balance between one end and the other. If i sound mean i'm sorryyy D:

One thing I noticed was a lot of "flowery language" back to back during the description of the necklace. I understand wanting to use a lot of descriptive/fancy words is fun, but sometimes less is more. What i do is look at my writing and ask "what is the minimum amount of words I can use to describe this?" Looking at the other extreme can help bring your writing to "the middle ground" so to speak and find a balance between one end and the other. If i sound mean i'm sorryyy D:

Yeah, I realized that too. Believe me, my first and second drafts were way worse, XD. I'll work on it.