forum Vesper (A short story by Sly)
Started by @ThatBackgroundSlytherin
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@ThatBackgroundSlytherin

Hey y'all!

So I'm gonna keep posting the parts gradually cus it's not all done yet, so make sure to keep an eye on this if you want more! (and if anyone likes it)


                                  Vesper

Six months. That's how long we've been sailing. The sea seems to be endless, stretching well beyond the horizon. Our only guidance is the Evening Star, shining from the west. We're searching for treasure, of all kinds. I'm told it's hidden on an island over the precipice of our world, waiting for a needy soul. I knew it would be awhile, I just didn't think this long. How long will it be I wonder? Before we tip over the edge. How long…..

I'm dragged out of my thoughts by a knock at the cabin door.

"Enter." I sigh. It's probably Don with the daily weather report. It swings open, and a tall figure enters, beaming at me.

"Hey Cliff!" He greets.

"Ronan." I raise my eyebrows. "What brings you to this gloomy cave of mine?" Ronan shrugs. "Can't I just come and talk to my best friend? Besides, it's not that bad down here!"

I chuckle. "No, you're wrong. It's horribly depressing. Especially if it's the only thing you've seen for the past six months, besides grey sea."

He shakes his head in exasperation. "You're such a drama queen."

"Oh please." I roll my eyes. "Let's not get started on this. Back to the point, why did you come to see me?"

"We've spotted the edge." He says, eyes twinkling with excitement. My mouth hangs open in shock. "No….."

"Yes!" He nods vigorously. "Just this morning Olivia said she saw something from her look out. Then John confirmed it just now! We're almost there!"

I stare at him in utter disbelief. We made it…..

"Can…can I come up? C-Can I see it?" I stumble over the words. Ronan laughs. "Of course! This is your expedition!"

I scramble out of the hammock and to the door, Ronan at my heels. I throw the door open and rush out onto the main deck. Olivia stands on the bow, poised, eyeglass pointed straight, John beside her. I jog up to them, breathing heavy.

"Did you really see it?" I ask.

John nods and points ahead. The sound of rushing water meets my ears, not like the tide, like…like a waterfall. Like the edge of the world.

"Can I see?" I tap Olivia's shoulder.

She smirks. "Magic word, Clifford."

"Please." I smile a little. She hands me the glass and tousles my head of fluffy brown hair. I shake my head amusedly, then put the glass to my eye. There it is, on the horizon. The end of the world.

"Is it real?" I ask, still surprised. John laughs silently, nodding. I turn to Ronan. "Do you want to take a look?"

He shakes his head. "Naw, I've already seen it. You go ahead. I know how much it means to you."

A smile threatens to show. I nod to him instead and turn to Olivia. "What's our estimated time of arrival?" I ask.

She glances at John, who shrugs and looks to Ronan, who presses his mouth into a straight line, which means he has no clue. I look back to Olivia.

She frowns. "I'm guessing today, around dusk."

Dusk…..only a few hours away. So soon.

I raise my eyebrows. "Thanks Liv." She smiles and salutes, then heads to below. I turn back to the west, to the edge.

We're almost there, it's only a matter of time.

                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out Olivia's initial estimate was a little off. We near the edge around midnight, the evening star ahead. After a brief meeting with my small crew, we decide to tie ourselves onto the ship, just in case our arms give out on the drop. Olivia states she would like to survey the area before proceeding, a reasonable request.

"I'm gonna go get some things from my cabin." I say.

"I'll come with you." Ronan volunteers.

I nod and head down below.

Our ship is small, so we crammed the whole crews' belongings into the Captain's Quarters, also known as my cabin. I push the door open and glance around, hands on my hips.

"Okay….so definitely a change of clothes." I begin, opening the giant foot locker.

Ronan digs into his own pile of belongings. "Good thinking Cliff."

I stuff the clothes into my pack and reach back in. My hand closes around something round and smooth. My compass. I stand up and examine it. Ronan gave it to me five years ago. On the front is a message:

"So you can always find your way back to us."

I flip it over.

“To: Clifford Montgomery

From: Ronan Wilder”

My fingers search for the switch. I click it, and the compass case opens. It's still in working order, the needle pointing defiantly to the north and south. Above it, tucked in the lid, is a picture of Ronan and I at the age of twelve. It's in black and white, but you can tell that his skin is a couple shades darker than mine, normal for his race. He's smiling like he always does, proud and free. He wanted me to smile for the picture, but, as usual, I refused. I just don't feel comfortable smiling. He shrugged and had pulled me into one of his backbreaking hugs.

My lips twitch at the memory. Ronan peers over my shoulder. "Good times eh?"

I nod, closing the compass and stuffing it in my pocket.

"We should finish packing." I state. He presses his mouth into a straight line and turns back to his pile. He obviously wanted to talk about it more. I sigh and rub the scar on the bridge of my nose. Always ruining conversations…

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~

We head up to the deck, having packed all we need. Donovan, our ship cook, is talking to Olivia, waving his hands around in a frantic fashion. Olivia watches with her arms crossed. I approach them.

"So we're gonna go right over the edge! Just like that!" Don exclaims.

Olivia sighs. "Yes Don, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Don stamps his foot. "I'm on this lousy tub too!"

I clear my throat. "Don, if you have any complaints, kindly voice them to me and don't bug our navigator."

Olivia raises her eyebrows, trying not to smile.

Don rolls his eyes. "Fine! I don't like it! Us going straight over the edge like this! It's insane!"

John taps Don on the shoulder and points to the bow. Olivia smiles. "I think you're a bit late Donny."

I turn.

Just ahead of us is the sheer cliff of our world. The ocean thunders over it, down into the unknown. Ronan lets out a low whistle. I'm too wonderstruck for words.

Olivia clears her throat. "I'll go make sure the crew has secured themselves. You better get your own life lines as well."

Ronan grabs a few and passes them around. I fasten mine around my waist and fiddle with it as I look out ahead. The rumbling of the water is almost deafening now. I grab onto the rail beside me. There's a moment of complete still, and then, we plunge.

The first thing I feel is the wind, rushing all around me, giving the feeling of flight. Then the sensation of falling. My stomach flops upside down, threatening to show what I had for dinner. Water drops spray up, hitting my face and bare forearms like reverse rain. I glance at Ronan. His mouth is open in an unheard laugh. Don has a look of pure terror, hanging on to the rail for dear life. I smile a bit and I squeeze my eyes shut, savoring this illusion of soaring. We all lurch forward as the ship crashes down into the sea below. I find myself sprawled out on the deck, breathing heavily, soaked to the bone, and more excited than I've ever been. I struggle to sit up, groaning from the sudden impact. I hear a couple gasps. I look at the others, then follow their gaze.

The ocean stretches out before us, as vast and endless as before. Sandy islands dot the area, the largest one straight ahead. The stars stretch over us like a canopy, their colors more vibrant than ever. The Evening Star shines brighter than I've ever seen it, distant and ever out of reach.
I glance back the way we came. Water rumbles over the pristine cliffs of our world. It falls in thick curtains to this oceanic world. The borders of the worlds overlap just enough so that the water can fall from one to the next. The cosmos surrounds us.

Ronan stumbles over his words, trying to form a coherent sentence. "It's….it's…"

"Incredible.” I finish. My heart is beating steadily, its rhythm whispering;

Yes,

Yes,

  Yes!

I rub my chest, trying to contain my excitement.

Ronan places a hand on my shoulder. "Let's go explore it eh?"

I nod, feeling a smile starting to play in my lips. "Let's go."

Most of the crew stays behind, seeing that they'd get a chance to look around later when the coast is clear. I set out with Ronan, Don, John, and Olivia. We go by foot, since the water is shallow enough to wade through. I climb down the side of or ship and land in the warm sea with a satisfying splash. We begin to slog our way to the shore of the largest island. Don is muttering to himself the whole way. John is silent, as always. Since he can't speak in the first place I wonder why I always expect to hear something out of him? It must be because he's so expressive all the time.

We drag ourselves onto the shore, and I finally feel something besides wood floor under my feet. The dry sand is cool and softer than expected. I gather a pile in the palm of my hand, and pull out a bottle from my sack.

Olivia raises an eyebrow. "Saving some samples for later?"

"No." I reply. "I just like the looks of it when it's in the bottle."

She shrugs. "Well, you do you I guess."

Ronan tugs on my sleeve. "What's that up ahead?"

I squint. The island cuts off sharply in front of us. It just…stops. I near the edge. The tide laps at the shore, as if it's waiting. Something catches my eyes. I crouch down.

Covered a bit by the sand, lies a rusty bronze plaque.

Ronan scratches his head. "Now what in the world is that doing here?"

Don peers at it. "What's those marking on it?! A curse!"

Olivia peers over my shoulder. "It looks like our language. At least, something like it. Can you read what it says Cliff?"

I nod and stare at it. The writing is so worn I can barely read it.

"If it's the treasure you seek, you're almost there. The door you need, to find it's lair. Your guide for this trip, is also the key. Just look at your aid, and the truth, you will see."

Don sighs. "Well of course! That makes perfect sense! What guide?!"

Olivia shushes him. "Can you pipe down? We'll never find out if we can't think because of your mouth."

I shush them both. Everything is silent for a while, each of us probing our minds for the answer.

"Ronan, what were we told to follow to the edge of the world?" I ask.

He frowns. "The Evening Star?"

John nods vigorously.

Don crosses his arms. "If that was the answer, why didn't anything happen?!"

We all ponder this for a minute. Olivia speaks up. "Maybe it needs to be in a different language?"

I snap my fingers. "That's it!"

I stand up and take a deep breath, hoping I don't make a fool of myself. "Vesper."

Nothing happens at first, then, off in the distance, a low rumbling sound meets my ears. It sounds like….rushing water…a lot of it.

Waves crash up into the shore, forming a towering wall above us. It sends down a spray which soaks us again. I suck in my breath. The water stays tall and straight, and then slowly parts to reveal a blinding light at the end of the passage it's formed.

I tear my gaze away from the miracle before us and check on the others. Their mouths are gaping. Don it trying to speak but is at a loss for words for once in his life. Ronan wears a giant grin on his face. "You did it Cliff!" He whoops.

I shrug. "It was a lucky guess."

"I'll say!" Olivia tousles my brown hair. "Good job kid."

John gives me a thumbs up.

Don shakes his head. "Why'd you pick Latin?"

"It's an old language." I respond. "If your is gonna make a password to the passage at the end of the world, then it's gotta be in an old language nobody uses anymore."

Ronan throws an arm around me. "Well I'm mighty proud of my best friend."

I rub the scar on my nose. I can feel my face growing hot. "It's no big deal."

Olivia crosses her arms. "You gotta learn how to take a compliment without crawling into your shell like a turtle, Cliff."

I shrug. "Thanks, you guys."

Ronan hugs me. "You're welcome!”

I raise my eyebrows and try not to suffocate. When Ronan hugs you, he has the habit of hugging all of you, because he's so tall.

He finally let's go, and I get a chance to catch my breath.

"Let's….get going." I say.

Don puts his hands up. "Whoa! Wait a minute! Shouldn't some of us stay behind?!"

Olivia nods. "Sounds like a solid idea Donovan."

John raises his hand and points to himself.

"John wants to stay." Ronan says.

Don crosses his arms. "I'd like to stay behind as well!"

I pause, reluctant to split. "Okay. You two can stay and get the rest of the crew to shore. If we're not back in a week, start worrying."

The both give me their reassurance that they will do so.

"Alright." I clear my throat. "Let's go."

Ronan nods and starts into the tunnel. I follow him, wishing the whole crew was coming with us.

The the sea wall of the tunnel writhes around us. I stretch my hand out and let it brush the rushing tide. It's warm and clear, like a window into the sea.

Olivia places a hand on my shoulder. "This is amazing." She breathes.

I nod in agreement. "I wonder how long it'll stay like this."

"Who knows?" She shrugs. "It's not like we don't know the password."

I rub my scar. "Yes but does it work on the other end?"

She frowns. "Oh…you got me there."

I glance at Ronan, who's a ways ahead. He strolling along at a leisurely pace, admiring the rippling blue around us. We're getting closer to the light ahead. Ronan slows and waits for Olivia and me to catch up.

The light is rippling just like the water of this passage. It looks like a patch of dappled sunlight, sending out a pulse of warmth.

"What do you think we'll find on the other side eh?" Ronan asks.

Olivia clenches her jaw in determination. "Only one way to find out."

We head towards it, shielding our eyes from the burning light, and into the mystery beyond.

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry about the spacing I copied it from docks.

I hope you enjoy!

~Sly

@Nomadicd20 group

This was fantastic. I definitely want to read more (no rush though). The only critique was that I noticed a few typos (just trying to help), otherwise it was great.

@Nomadicd20 group

Thanks guys!

I will be the first to say I am terrible at grammar so when it's done I'd be awesome if some of you could de-tangle my sloppy grammar!

I would be willing to help you with that

@WriteOutofTime

SLY!!!!!
THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I just love the way it sounds. It has a very harmonic and beautiful flow and the dialogue is really quite natural. Do you want any sort of constructive criticism? There wouldn't be much, because it has such a strong voice/style and the grammar is nearly flawless.

@WriteOutofTime

Okay, one little critique: You have such a way of describing detail I can't help but want more of it. The entire thing feels just a tad fast –not necessarily rushed, just fast paced– and I feel a slower build up might be better. Describe your character's thoughts, describe the end of the world, describe the feelings and sights and smells. You're good at it and I think you could add more!

@Nomadicd20 group

Okay, one little critique: You have such a way of describing detail I can't help but want more of it. The entire thing feels just a tad fast –not necessarily rushed, just fast paced– and I feel a slower build up might be better. Describe your character's thoughts, describe the end of the world, describe the feelings and sights and smells. You're good at it and I think you could add more!

I agree. The descriptions could be more…immersive and detailed.

@Nomadicd20 group

Hey Sly, I thought about it and I got a bit overzealous about editing. I mean I can help edit something short like this (It's fantastic by the way), but I can't edit something as big as a novel or book sized story. I hope you'll understand, thanks.