forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :) Part 2!

Started September 25, 2020 by @Moxie group

tune

@Musical_Queen i am by no means an expert, and i don't have answers to all of these questions, but here are my thoughts:

Is is possible to be demisexual but grey-romantic?

I think so, yes! I'm not sure why you couldn't be :D

And because if it is possible, would that make me amid?

I think yes again, since you'd be on both the asexual and the aromantic spectrums. Obviously, you wouldn't have to use that term if you didn't feel like it fitted you, though.

Would it be contradictory to say you are demisexual but also sex averse? Also, what are QPR's?

I don't think it'd be contradictory, because the word demisexual defines who you're sexually attracted to, whereas sex averse is saying whether or not you'd be interested in actually having sex.
As for QPRs, I'm definitely not an expert but from what I've heard there's no one set idea of how a QPR looks. Basically what I've gathered is that it would be a relationship that goes beyond what people usually consider to be 'normal' for platonic friendship, but isn't fully romantic or doesn't look like a 'normal' romantic relationship either. I would say it's a relationship that blurs the lines and cultural norms between romance and friendship (though I'm no expert and there's probably a better definition!)

hope this helps in some way and makes some sort of sense
also guys feel free to correct me if I've made any mistakes or said something wrong :)

hi sweet pea! i'm zero but i'll also respond to radio store cowboy or any variation of that haha. he/it. i'm currently unlabeled but <3 men

Hey sweet pea, I’m keys, or moth, or pretty much anything as long as I can tell you’re talking to me :) he/him pronouns. welcome to the chat!

I'm demisexual, so hopefully I can help :)

Is is possible to be demisexual but grey-romantic?

Absolutely! You're sexual and romantic orientations exist on different spectrums, so they don't always match up.

And because if it is possible, would that make me amid?

If you like that term, then yes, since both your romantic and sexual orientations would be on a-spectrums.

What is tertiary attraction? The list I was given and a lot of different websites explained it differently and it doesn't make sense to me.

A tertiary attraction can be any type of attraction that's not romantic or sexual. For example, if I'm attracted to someone for their intelligence or aesthetics, those are both considered tertiary attractions. It might've been confusing since everyone experiences attraction differently and there are loads of different attracting forces that some people notice and others don't.

Would it be contradictory to say you are demisexual but also sex averse?

So, being demisexual is like being asexual until you're not. Demisexuals will not experience any sexual attraction until someone (or someones) comes along that they form a close emotional attachment with and, if the conditions are right, it's like a switch flips and that demisexual- who previously wasn't experiencing any sexual attraction to anyone- is now feeling sexual attraction to this one person (or specific group of individuals). This does not mean that every person a demisexual makes friends with will be the subject of their sexual attraction- it's just that emotional attachment and familiarity is the prerequisite to feeling sexual attraction in the first place.

I am both demisexual and sex averse. When I think about sex in general, it grosses me out and is not my jam. It doesn't sound fun or look exciting. However, when I'm not in asexual mode- when there is that someone who flipped the switch- I am not sex averse towards them. But they are they exception.

There are other demisexuals who are sex averse full time, no exceptions. Being demi has to do with what you feel, while sex aversion is what you do with those feelings- or what you don't. So there are demisexuals who are feeling sexual attraction, but don't like the idea of sex and don't plan on having it.

So no, it's not contradictory. However, sex aversity paired with demisexuality can manifest in lots of different ways.

Also, what are QPR's?

I really like Merry Squidmas's description. It stands for Queer Platonic Relationship, which means the relationship is founded on platonic feelings but it's queer in the sense that the people in the QPR don't follow typical friendship dynamics. They might be more touchy or lovey than normal best friends, for example. QPRs are so popular in the ace/aro communities because they are considered long term, commited relationships that aren't founded on sex or romance (though aren't exclusionary of sex or romance either). So, while some ace/aros may never be interested in that perfect romantic partner who's great in bed, they have a QPR which fulfills the role of life-partner/bosom pal, whatever you'd call it.

hey there sweet pea! welcome! i'm wren, pansexual, poly, and nonbinary. she/they, and we're glad to have you! :)

Omg wow there are so many people here Hii new besties

Hi! I'm Kat, She/her and homoromantic ace ^_^
I usually haunt the art channels but this chat is always fun to pop into

Hey, Sweet Pea! You may remember me from that one rp forum. Anyways, I'm Brie! She/her (though you can use others and I won't mind) and pan-ace. ^-^

Oh I do remember you Hi

Hi Izzy and I know right like at first I thoufht I was Bisexual then pan and then I was like somewhere in the middle for a while but I think I settled on lesbian :)

pffft yeah it's confusing i know lol

Omg wow there are so many people here Hii new besties

AWWWWE ;U;
hai bestie :)

the chapel in my school has become the lgbt hangout honestly
I was in there the other day and this tiny year seven came up to me and told me she liked my pride pin :D
plus our chaplain (she is awesome and I love her) said she wants to make pride a really big event in school this year, so I'm super excited. I've basically signed myself up for helping with that several months in advance

woah what kind of school do you go to that has an accepting chaplain/chapel?

Hi @Sweet_Pea ! You know me! XD I’m Lynn, she/they is preferred but I go by any pronouns! I haven’t really found a label yet, but omnisexual + maybe somewhere on the demisexual range seems to fit me :’)

Also @merry-squidmas that sounds amazing!! Let us know how that goes!

the chapel in my school has become the lgbt hangout honestly
I was in there the other day and this tiny year seven came up to me and told me she liked my pride pin :D
plus our chaplain (she is awesome and I love her) said she wants to make pride a really big event in school this year, so I'm super excited. I've basically signed myself up for helping with that several months in advance

….. what the hell
i so badly wish i could feel like i didn't have to put up a fake personality at my school lmao

was asked twice if i was okay today
lied through my teeth :)
yup i'm okay, anxiety = normal and okay

the chapel in my school has become the lgbt hangout honestly
I was in there the other day and this tiny year seven came up to me and told me she liked my pride pin :D
plus our chaplain (she is awesome and I love her) said she wants to make pride a really big event in school this year, so I'm super excited. I've basically signed myself up for helping with that several months in advance

Umm where is your school cause I wanna go there

Also are Penguins awesome or am I just obsessed?

introduction because I never did one: the names arlo, pronouns they/them, mlm B)

One of my friend's brother had an art project where you would paint a stool and he painted Kirby, but he accidentally painted the aromantic flag as the background, so i guess Kirby's aromantic now lol

Sup
I live, again. This time I have a good excuse for disappearing lol

all the people asking me where my school is: britain

Also are Penguins awesome or am I just obsessed?

not just you! MACARONI PENGUINS

I like Adélie penguins

I like Adélie penguins

YES, YES, AND YES

I like Adélie penguins

YES, YES, AND YES

They just be wobbling
And their obsession with pebbling I cannot
Too cute