Deleted user
So, I just finished a major scene, would anyone be willing to critique my cringy writing? I'm sorry if it's confusing…
I slapped the book shut, Audra’s words ringing in my ears. I’m normally not one to let this affect me, especially in reading. Something about what she said felt off, i just don’t know what.
I got up from the dark cotton couch dragging the boring book with me. Wade and Gace peered out of their room.
“Hey Nut, having boy trouble?” Gace snickered.
Wade knocked him in the head with a textbook. “She’s obviously reading a book you dumb-nut!”
“Way to ruin the fun, Dancing Girl.” Gace smacked the textbook out of Wade’s hand. “Why don’t you go join her?”
“Take that back Gace!”
The boys continued fighting causing a ruckus that echoed throughout the whole house. I skipped around them when they took it to their room. Why had Dad decided to let them share a room? I passed the two empty rooms that once belonged to Daelen and Aaden. Wow, the years have passed quickly! I smiled at the plain doors.
I continued into my room and fell backward on my bed. My short hair flew over my face. I blew it upward with my breath. I held the book out in front of me.
An image flashed through my mind. I looked at the book while in thought. I tried to figure out what the image was but it disappeared before I could tell.
My gaze had slipped away from the book.
How strange…
I looked back at the book and the image appeared again. I trained my eyes to the cover, making sure they didn’t drift off again.
The image grew clear and I saw the world the characters’ resided in. So different than what I thought it looked like.
Another image popped into my head, of the characters. Once again, I was shocked at how different I’ve imagined them all this time.
Wait, how is this possible? If I’ve been imagining these a whole different way until now, what has changed? Why can I only see it when I’m staring at the book?
I got up and placed the book down I ran to the bookshelf beside my door and stared intently at another.
The same thing happened.
What was this?
I scanned the books in their messy array and images popped into my mind, flashing as one book led to another. I slowly backed up. The posters on my walls were affected by this. Soon instead of images, words appeared in a jumbled mess across my mind, flashing as another took its place. My head throbbed. My throat felt dry.
The walls themselves turned into words, each describing what they looked like. Everything was replaced by words. The images flashed faster. My heart pounded in my chest.
My nose felt like it was being torn apart by the pressure. No more like inside out. The pain spread throughout my body and I fell into a shaking mess on the carpeted floor. The noises of the house faded away into a distant thob. My body shook violently, my hands, feet, and head banging sharply into the floor. I stared at the ceiling that was slowing turning into words, unable to move my burning eyes.
I didn’t know it until something wet hit my cheeks, I was crying. Everything felt like it was being torn apart, my skin felt like it was slowly being peeled off. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. A sick, gurgling scream echoed throughout the room, too distant to be mine but yet I felt the pain as my lips parted. The images only went faster and the pain increased. Something wet fell from my lips as the scream continued. My body continued trembling, the speed only increasing.
Just as I thought the torment would never end, everything suddenly pitched into darkness, my body still screaming pain as my consciousness slipped out of my grasp.
