@houdini
I know you're out there
I can't be the only one
Join me in my feels and existential crises.
………………………………………….Please.
I know you're out there
I can't be the only one
Join me in my feels and existential crises.
………………………………………….Please.
PROTIP
I don't cry I craft
Hi. My name is [cringy hand motions] Dan.
Hello Dan and Phil Games (insert weird thing)
Slides in
A month without uploading he comes back with a tag that no one even tagged him in he’s not a challenge to drag
So prepare for an attack and by that I mean cringe
‘Cause this motherf***
er’s about to get dragged by his fringe
First things first you’re freakishly tall it’s weird you look like a noodle
You’ve got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just look like a poodle (hobbit)
Throw in a really annoying posh voice and yep, that’s Dan
You’re what would happen if Winnie The Pooh f***
ed Slenderman
You procrastinate making videos ‘cause being judged is scary
You’re so close to being forgotten the hate’s imaginary
The only reason you get views is ‘cause you’re another white guy that people ship with his friend
‘Cause they think it’s kawaii
Oh?
Reasons why Dan’s a fail (yay)
I’ll give you some
You never tweet
You overeat
All you do is cry and sleep
Your jokes are sh**
posts and memes with no originality
Your family’s sad you flopped your law degree at university
And everything that’s embarrassing that’s from your past you just delete
You were vegan for like three weeks
Then what? You missed the meat?
Wow I’m so impressed by your clear moral integrity
You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
But can’t make toast without tumblr saying you’re problematic
I could go on
There’s more if I check
There’s more things on this list than chins on your neck
On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death
A hundred? Yeah.
When getting out of bed makes you out of breath?
So your celebrity crush was J-Law but now it’s Evan P?
What the f***
even is your sexuality?
It’s hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry.
I think it’s just to hide that you’re secretly a furry
I’m joking
Obviously
Okay, that went deep
Repress it?
Yep
Before I start crying let’s wrap this sh** up
I’m gonna go and m*********
then cry into a slice of pizza
Shoutout to the other youtubers especially Ryan Higa
A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation met with no depreciation
It’s the YouTube nation
Click subscribe if you wanna watch four videos a year
To see my last from ten years ago just click over here
So leave a comment with your reaction you can call me a liar
‘Cause you just witnessed the roast of danisnotonfire
sobs
TRASH WHAT HAVE YOU DUN
Oh my god…
I think it's been established I have nothing productive to do with my life
Listening to TOP is productive lmao
[Phil:] Whenever I'm alone Or if I'm feeling grey There's one place I can go To brighten up my day It makes me want to sing That's how the show should end But wouldn't it be good if I Could sing it with a friend? [Dan:] Whoa, whoa, what? Phil, I think you should ask before you put me on the spot like this! Okay, fine, whatever, I'll join in too [Phil:] I might go outside And feel more alive Without Twitter Where would I be? [Dan:] I guess I'd be fit And stop posting shiiii- [Phil:] Rubbish! [Dan:] But Tumblr's a part of me! [Phil:] So many websites So little time Plus one or two You should avoid [Dan:] Just don't stop watching YouTube Or we'll be unemployed! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? It might be antisocial But these days that is fine [Dan:] 'Cause life is so much better when you spend it all online! [Phil:] A place where you can be yourself No matter if you're geeky! [Dan:] Find friends that share your hobbies Even if they're freaky! [Phil:] Where any question in your head Is answered in an instant! [Dan:] Who cares if you procrastinate Your one shot at existence! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? Without the internet We never would have met! [Phil:] We'd never be here on a stage Doing things we might regret! [Dan:] Dance break! [Phil:] Who cares if you're a loser And everybody knows it! [Dan:] Or if you spend your life drawing whiskers on your noses! [Phil:] Even if your chances of getting tanned are slim [Dan:] Or if you live vicariously through the life of a Sim! [Dil:] Sheltay zomo! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? It might be antisocial But these days that is fine! 'Cause life is so much better! Life is so much better! Life is so much better When you Spend It All Online!
[Phil:] Whenever I'm alone Or if I'm feeling grey There's one place I can go To brighten up my day It makes me want to sing That's how the show should end But wouldn't it be good if I Could sing it with a friend? [Dan:] Whoa, whoa, what? Phil, I think you should ask before you put me on the spot like this! Okay, fine, whatever, I'll join in too [Phil:] I might go outside And feel more alive Without Twitter Where would I be? [Dan:] I guess I'd be fit And stop posting shiiii- [Phil:] Rubbish! [Dan:] But Tumblr's a part of me! [Phil:] So many websites So little time Plus one or two You should avoid [Dan:] Just don't stop watching YouTube Or we'll be unemployed! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? It might be antisocial But these days that is fine [Dan:] 'Cause life is so much better when you spend it all online! [Phil:] A place where you can be yourself No matter if you're geeky! [Dan:] Find friends that share your hobbies Even if they're freaky! [Phil:] Where any question in your head Is answered in an instant! [Dan:] Who cares if you procrastinate Your one shot at existence! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? Without the internet We never would have met! [Phil:] We'd never be here on a stage Doing things we might regret! [Dan:] Dance break! [Phil:] Who cares if you're a loser And everybody knows it! [Dan:] Or if you spend your life drawing whiskers on your noses! [Phil:] Even if your chances of getting tanned are slim [Dan:] Or if you live vicariously through the life of a Sim! [Dil:] Sheltay zomo! [Both:] The internet is here! The internet is great! When you've got lots of followers who needs a real mate? It might be antisocial But these days that is fine! 'Cause life is so much better! Life is so much better! Life is so much better When you Spend It All Online!
This illustrates the difference in their personalities so well
I love
Glitter Faces!!
SATANIC RITUAL POTATOES.
LITRILY
AAAAAHHHH Dan falls out of chair
falls out of chair s u p y'all
THE ACTUAL FUNNIEST THO
NEW PINOF COMING SOON AND I'M HYPED
IT IS TODAY
I think I'm like 3 pinofs behind
Oof
The new one is 👌
new one is gr8
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