forum I struggle with identity. help me
Started by @CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa
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@CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa

The only thing that I truly know about myself is my gender (and my physical characteristics)
I seriously struggle with identity. I barely know my sexuality, and I’m sure that I have some form of mental illness. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and about half a dozen other ones. It seems like when I’m with my friends, I’m the happiest person you’ll ever meet, but when I’m alone in my room or not doing something active or something that I enjoy, I’m the most useless ball of depression that you’ll ever meet. I don’t know whether I’m short, tall, or normal. I don’t know my mental state. I’m not normal, I must have some sort of disorder. Nothing has helped me. I refuse to tell my parents, who have helped me with absolutely nothing in the past 12 years of my life. I don’t know whether or not people genuinely like me, or if they’re just pretending. I am contemplating leaving this site. I don’t know who my friends are, in my offline life, or on here. I am constantly treated like I’m stupid, even by my own parents. I don’t know anymore…
I feel like I'm fussing, I shouldn't be heaping my crap on you. I need to tell someone, and my parents aren't an option…

@Becfromthedead group

Well, first, I’ll tell you that at your age, it’s okay to not know your identity. It can take years to understand who you truly are and want to be.
Second, if you don’t feel that your parents would be okay talking about depression or other possible mental disorders, try self-help resources first, or if you have a school counselor, go to them if you feel comfortable. I also think it’s probably a good idea to avoid trying to put labels on yourself and seeing little things that you feel or do as symptoms of disorders. While I don’t doubt that there’s something wrong, “half a dozen other ones” seems like a lot to worry about. And even if they are there, it’s probably better to not self-diagnose unless you’ve got really solid evidence, as you’ll just end up stressing yourself out more. I know it’s hard, and I don’t have great advice to give on mental health, since I’m kind of at a low point right now too, but just take care of yourself. And if that means even the simplest of things like venting on notebook (because venting can help a lot), then do it! We don’t mind! Most of us have our own issues, and we won’t dismiss yours. We get it.
And I’m sorry to say this, but adults are probably going to treat you like they know better in everything for a while. Heck, I’m 19, and my mom still acts like I can’t make any responsible decisions. I’m not saying get over it, because I don’t think that’s the way to go. It really stinks that you’re not listened to. I hate that for you. But the best thing you can do is make sure that what you say to adults in your life is well thought-out and tactful, but also genuine. They’ll be more willing to listen that way. But sometimes they won’t, and it’s frustrating, especially when they’re your own parents.
Sorry for the long post, but we’re here for you, okay?

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

It's OK daeling, Shuri is here to help…

Honestly, this is a tough thing to go through, and you are not alone in all this my doll, you may not know up or down, but you know at least ONE direction, and if you can figure out what you want. So keep going, and you'll be able to find things out about the world around you as you go.
If you need help, try talking to talk to your friends and see if they can relate, or if they can help you with your problem. Try looking it up, but take anything you see w ion th a grain of salt, of course… If ever it gets REALLY bad talk to ypur parents, walk them through what you're going through, and what you've tried, be very sincere, and I think at the end of it, they will believe you. And of course, if you EVER get the chance to speak to a professional, don't pass it up. This may seem confusing, but if you try, I feel you have the ability to figure it out. Just know that we all love and support you immeasurably. Try thinking like a professional, and please, as Bec says, don't self-diagnose without evidence or cause. Don't put stresscon yourself, though, you are who you are. Remember that nothing can help you unless you let it, doll, so as I said, try to be more open, but take everything with a grain of salt.
As for your depression and anxiety, well, stay strong and hsng in there. You stay strong for me, and I'll stay strong for you. And that's a promise! I just want you to know, that in this sorrow, in this rage, in this terror, in this pain and bleakness… You are not alone, and I want you to know that… I know that you probably feel like shit, and you just want to lay down and sink, but so help me I'll be here to try with all the power I have to keep you afloat if it means my last breath. I'll be behind you, to push you further as you crawl up and out of Hell my darling. And as we reach the top, I promise to throw you higher when you're feeling good, and cushion your falls when you feel like shit. With every grain of every fiber in my being I will love you, and support you.
I want to cry for you, until your sorrow has poured from your body.
I want to yell for you, until your rage shakes the earth below.
I want to shiver for you, until you are numb to fear itself.
You are so precious to mr.
Let your emotions, your motivation pour forth and deliver you to serenity, to greatness, to the best version of you… it doesn't matter if you're running on empty. You are so much stronger than you think… And I know you will grow up smart, and strong
You are the protagonist in your own life story, so make that story a great one… Thanks…

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

And no matter what way it is, it'll be the right way!

But seriously Confuzzled, you're smart, and wonderful and quirky and you can do whatever you put your mind to, darling!