forum I need help STAT

Started July 15, 2018 by @Sugar-Lover

tune

I need a plot and character review

A theater kid, Juliana, who is known on the stage, but not so much off it. Juliana or Jules has a best friend, Jack, since she was six. Jack, or Jackson, has been through thick and thin with her. The greatest example would be when she was eight her mom died, and when she was eleven her dad happily remarried. Jack is also a theater kid who is extremely geeky. One time while onstage, Joshua – Juliana's long time crush – notices her beauty onstage and asks her out, with Jack being unknowingly. They go out a couple of times as friends, they start to spend more time together, which comes with the affect of her spending less time with Jack. The lack of time spent between the best friends causes Jack to come across his feelings towards Jules. As he planes to tell her about his feelings, Jules and Joshua kiss. Jules rushes to tell her best friend, this is her first kiss. Jack manages to confess before she can speak, startled she agrees she has the same feelings toward him. As she thinks about the topic she realizes she has actually had the same feelings toward him. Confused she no longer knows which boy screams love louder in her head.

Sometime later Juliana gets into a car accident, ends up in the hospital unconscious. She wakes up, still very unstable. Sadly she dies while still in the hospital unable to recover. Jackson and Joshua both realize that they weren't truly in love with Jules but instead in love with each other. The fall in love, wishing they had found this out before Juliana had died, so she could have gotten a true chance at love.

If you are confused about the love triangle

Juliana nickname is Gem

So basically while during a school play Joshua noticed Gem and Jack acting onstage, he noticed how they were interacting with each other. He got jealous of them and all he knew was he wanted those two to be separated. He thought his feelings were that he liked Jules and wanted Jack away from her, but instead it was the other way around.

With the lack of time spent between Jack and Gem, Jack feels jealous of how much time is being spent between Joshua and Jules. He feels he likes Jules, instead he likes Joshua.

After Jules dies they both realize they have the same feelings even after shes gone, and that the feelings were meant for each other and not her.

Juliana- Charlotte Holly
Jackson- Jackson Coletti
Joshua- Myles Weston

Your characters seem perfectly fine! And the plot is interesting, but I do have some questions.

Is she going to die near the end of the book or somewhere in the beginning? If she dies near the end of the book,
then you're probably just leading your readers on a fake love relationship until Juliana dies. Which then, SUPRISE!! THEY'RE ACTUALLY GAY!

But if she does dies sometime in the beginning, does that mean it takes the rest of the book for the MC's to fall in love or do they quickly realize their love and get together? And if they do quickly realize their love, then what happens afterwards for the remaining if the book?

I was thinking for her to die mid book, but then again when you write things never end up exactly how you planned it.

Yeah, happens to me all the time.

So is it going to revolve around the two guys point of view?

Before she dies it will be first person point of view of Juliana. After she dies it will be first person point of view, switching between Joshua and Jackson every other chapter

It think this is great! One thing for me though (And this isn't really a problem) is how similar their names are. All three of the main characters have "J" names, which, like I said, isn't really a problem, but it might get confusing for the readers.

In my book Jackson will go by his middle name, Mike. I do understand that there might be confusion because of the name choice, but I chose the names to all start with 'J' for a reason, that will play out in my book. Thank you for the feed back