I have a crush on a guy. There are problems.
- I’m pretty sure he’s straight. I’m a gay trans guy.
- He might not see me as a guy.
- I might’ve already ruined my chances with him by having my weird ass sense of humor
- He’s a senior. I’m a freshman.
However:
- he has such a pretty smile
- he’s so so fuckin funny
- his voice is so nice
- he’s really kind and just a generally good person
- I am simping. I am simping very hard.
The qualities that you like about him might be because they're qualities that you repress in yourself (he has a sense of humor that you appreciate; you have a sense of humor, but that you don't yourself appreciate…)
It's easy to say that he's good and kind when you're both still at school and generally meet each other there or in similarly "controlled" contexts. I'm sure he has his own issues that you're not seeing, that doesn't even necessarily make him bad but they do make him a very ordinary person—
- maybe he gets hangry
- maybe the way you both naturally communicate and understand affection is too different to not have both of you feel neglected or misunderstood, unfulfilled, etcetera even if you did get together
- maybe some angles of privilege make him say things that he thinks are reasonable but are truly very hurtful and he won't admit to having been wrong about that until something like 20 years from now because at the moment he's still immature (even though he's older than you are, he can still be immature in some important ways)
- maybe he hasn't found his personal style yet and when he does he will look so not your type anymore and then you'll have such a difficult time thinking up all these good things about him
- maybe his humor is covering up some more intense negative feelings about his life that you won't have the capacity to sit with and not be detrimentally affected beyond repair
- maybe his humor turns mean when he's under pressure
- maybe you have incompatible ambitions for the future (if you don't like to travel and he wants to live his entire adult life on a transatlantic boat or vice versa, or he's an economic liberalist and you discover later on that you want to run off and live in some anarchist commune or vice versa, things like that…)
All that said, there's certainly nothing wrong with feeling very happy that somebody else exists. Gods only know we all need something to be happy about, considering that the entire 21st century has generally been terrible so far. This can be personal experience research for future novels or something, if you ever need to write a sympathetic simp character then now you'll be able to—because you know what that feels like.
Bestie, the main problem is that he's a senior and you're a freshman. How old is he?
It's a big age gap for your age
Mm, too big of a gap, two years at the most is what I've been told. I don't want to shoot down your dreams, but that is an age gap that you shouldn't get yourself into, belive me, as someone with experience like that, it's not fun
