forum HELP ME PLEASE

Started November 04, 2018 by @Joy_

tune

PLEASE HELP ME if you don't mind lots of complicated friend-drama

I'm here if you'd like to talk to me?

Okay, here's the story. I was in a youth group relationship with a guy named Alex one year ago. I actually ended falling pretty hard for him, but I ended in February because I hated hiding stuff from my parents. So, then my best friend Maria started hanging out with Alex because they were friends before, and she asked me if this was cool. not wanting to be that person, I said yes. Well, fast forward to the end of July and she calls me saying she feels terrible but she almost kissed Alex. I pushed aside my own feelings because there was another problem: She was in a relationship with Alex's cousin Mike. I told her that she needs to set serious friend boundaries with Alex and break it off with Mike because it wasn't fair to him. Well, during VBS she did kiss Alex and they are now dating. This was three months ago. After I found out they kissed I confronted her but she would barely speak to me. I even gave her time to think about what she was going to say and still nothing. She says she is sorry and that she didn't mean to hurt me, but she isn't changing anything. To add on to this, Mike is really hurting because their relationship was supposed to end peacefully but instead she dumped him for Alex. Plus I loved Alex, and now I feel like I never mattered to either of them.

It's okay if no one wants to tackle this, I'm just feeling lonely and I'm really hurting.

LEMME FIGHT THEM!
Okay, I may not be able to fight them. But, I'm here for you to rant to.

Thanks @Don't Touch Me, I appreciate it. What would you do in my place?

Well, I'm aromantic so… I never would be put in this place.
But, I would try to talk it out with your friend.
Write a script so you kow what to say maybe?

I have to go, but I'll be back in the morning

See ya in the mornin'

Sorry that I didn't respond again, I was busy for a quick minute, but I'm sorry about what's happened. This has happened to some of my other friends with their crushes or exes and I'm not entirely sure how to help because I've never dealt with it personally, but I think what one of them did was talk to the other person and told them that they were uncomfortable with what was happening. The other person was a jerk and didn't change anything, but I think it would help to talk to your friend.

@"Neon_Gravestones_Try_To_Call_For_My_Bones-(It's MK)" Thanks for the advice, but I have tried to talk to her, and it hasn't helped. I guess I don't matter as much to either of them compared with how much they mattered to me. Thanks anyway though.

@Don't Touch Me, Yeah, Maybe I will try to talk to her again, I'm just not sure how much it will accomplish.

Okay, so I will talk to her since both of you are giving me the same advice, I just have no clue what to say to her at this point.

Just try to m=brainstorm some ideas

Okay, here's the story. I was in a youth group relationship with a guy named Alex one year ago. I actually ended falling pretty hard for him, but I ended in February because I hated hiding stuff from my parents. So, then my best friend Maria started hanging out with Alex because they were friends before, and she asked me if this was cool. not wanting to be that person, I said yes. Well, fast forward to the end of July and she calls me saying she feels terrible but she almost kissed Alex. I pushed aside my own feelings because there was another problem: She was in a relationship with Alex's cousin Mike. I told her that she needs to set serious friend boundaries with Alex and break it off with Mike because it wasn't fair to him. Well, during VBS she did kiss Alex and they are now dating. This was three months ago. After I found out they kissed I confronted her but she would barely speak to me. I even gave her time to think about what she was going to say and still nothing. She says she is sorry and that she didn't mean to hurt me, but she isn't changing anything. To add on to this, Mike is really hurting because their relationship was supposed to end peacefully but instead she dumped him for Alex. Plus I loved Alex, and now I feel like I never mattered to either of them.

That sounds like a tough one… But you should definitely try to talk to everyone honestly, or else honestly, I don't think you'll make any progress. You definitely shouldn't let this nasty problem fester, so talk to her. Sometimes you just hsve to let people know how monumentally assenine they're being, even if they're your friends. I really do hope everything works out. I'll be here to vent and rant to… If you need me, I'm pretty much everywhere… Sory… And thanks again, for seeking help…

But seriously… PM me if you need anything… The rest of you too!

But seriously… PM me if you need anything… The rest of you too!

Thank you, I really appreciate it. Same goes for you, if you need help, I'm here!

Yeah. Cool. I guess I'll see you around, eh?

Yeah, I guess so. Well, I'm seeing them tonight at youth group, so maybe I'll try and say something. I'll update if anything urgent happens.

Please do! Thanks!!!

So I'm gonna go along with everyone else here and say to talk with them. But, I would suggest do it in private so you don't make a big scene if it gets out of hand. Also, if they are just rude about it or really don't care about your feelings or make you feel worse, the best advice I could suggest is to leave the situation and hang out with people that make you happy. So that will distract you from the situation, and soon you will forget about the problem. I know someone who had a similar situation and she cut herself off from everyone and she then a depression took over her life. She's all better now. I hope that doesn't happen to you! Also, if you feel like you don't matter to them, they don't deserve you. Sorry that might have been harsh but its true! If they don't treat you with respect or they think you don't matter, they seriously don't deserve you! Good luck tonight, Joy! Please tell us if anything terrible happens. (I was listening to 'This Little Girl' while reading this post ._.) Also you don't have to take my advice but it is just a suggestion.

So I'm gonna go along with everyone else here and say to talk with them. But, I would suggest do it in private so you don't make a big scene if it gets out of hand. Also, if they are just rude about it or really don't care about your feelings or make you feel worse, the best advice I could suggest is to leave the situation and hang out with people that make you happy. So that will distract you from the situation, and soon you will forget about the problem. I know someone who had a similar situation and she cut herself off from everyone and she then a depression took over her life. She's all better now. I hope that doesn't happen to you! Also, if you feel like you don't matter to them, they don't deserve you. Sorry that might have been harsh but its true! If they don't treat you with respect or they think you don't matter, they seriously don't deserve you! Good luck tonight, Joy! Please tell us if anything terrible happens. (I was listening to 'This Little Girl' while reading this post ._.) Also you don't have to take my advice but it is just a suggestion.

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Nothing happened last night, other than me accidentally almost going over to say hi because that's what I would've done three months ago. Oh well. Next week is worship night at youth group and I have a feeling something will happen then.

Yes, no problem, I am glad I could help. Okay, just keep us updated so we can help out the best we can! And once more, good luck! :)

Hey Guys! I talked to her last night, and to Alex. I told them that I forgave them and then I gave them some advice about why their relationship is a bad idea. We would've talked longer, but Maria had to leave, so we are going to talk next Wednesday. Fingers crossed for it to go well! I hope I can at least make them stop and think about how far they are willing to go because last year Maria was a the-first-kiss-wedding girl. How do you guys think I did?

Great! I'm so happy for you! You must have a sharp tongue to talk your way out of such a situation! Nice going. You made them see the light!