Deleted user
Hey y'all!
Could someone critique my outline?
Go hard on me! I'm not super proud of my last book, and kinda need to feel like this one is amazing. Also, I'd like to make it loooooong. . .
'Ataeru' is a thing in my book where a child 16+ is forced to leave home and move away from their family. They have to find their own shelter, job, money, etc. Most of them remain homeless for a month or longer.
Characters are all referred to by the first letter of their name.
Obviously, I don't know how to end it, so I could use some help there, too.
This outline is literally my thought process typed, so if there's any weird comments or whatever (cough cough, CP Six). HALP
LOVE Y'ALL!!
CP One:
Opening Scene: Talking to Gakusei about handshake, walking to school
Speech
Meet Jennie
Speech (SeveCon Time)
Kyōju Feefur tells A she looks like Freeda, daughter;
Meet Marie
M and A play with the brothers
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CP Two:
Dinner, speech explanation (to Sera), intro to rest of fam/house residents), RK comes with Rio
Meet Sera
Meet Gary
Meet Rio
R told to stick with A, watch over/keep away from behaviors such as the speech
A and M go to play with the boys outside in yard while RK speaks with S and G. R goes with A and M, more info.
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CP Three:
(Next Morning)
Scene:
Boys are outside swinging, R is back at, I don't know some RK base, M is still sleeping. Bright sunshine leaks through the windows.
S sits A down to talk about Ataeru. Reveals A's Ataeru date is January first, 2250. ("I know it's winter, and I'm sorry–" "Mom, I'm gonna be homeless. The least you could do is let it happen in the summer, when I won't freeze to death!" "I just thought it was a nice, round date!")
M's Ataeru = June 22nd, the same as NB's
A storms out, is forced to begin taking an Ataeru Prep class.
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CP Four:
Ataeru prep class begins. Teacher is named Lucyna (Polish)
Meet Lucyna
R waits outside classroom. A meets girl named Delilah, whose Ataeru is December 30. They joke about meeting up once they've left home. The class results in half an hour of free time.
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CP Five:
A decides to really try and get to know Rio. They go on a walk and have conversation.
It's not sunset. That's too cheesy. Let's go for. . . How about the middle of the day? Like, 2:43. They go for a walk at 2:43 PM on October 26th. And they keep getting lost in all the people, and then they do that dramatic thing where they're calling for each other and reaching for each other through the crowd.
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CP Six:
Child breaks arm.
I don't know. It sounded. . . Interesting.
NO! Let's not do that. Scratch that. No arm breakage. Instead, brief, brief rundown of two months until Ataeru. Have the theme/vibe be dark grey, foggy. Yeah. She becomes super close with R, but knows she'll have to say goodbye soon enough.
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CP Seven:
It's Ataeru time.
Emotional goodbyes. Especially with M, J and R. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
A walks the crowded streets, wandering, looking for a place to stay, something to do.
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CP Eight:
I
Step Nine:
DON'T
CP Ten:
KNOW