forum can someone review my character ?
Started by 360
tune

people_alt 3 followers

@Suspicious_Reptiles

*Jack K. Roberts
-Overview
Who calls he 'wanderer ' and why
-Looks
What's his weight? It's a good factor when figuring out the body type and what he looks like. Speaking of body type, could you explain that to me in better detail? What's a super human? Does he have any facial hair?
-Nature
Tell me what he does in different moods. In motivations you can take out, 'before he did'. He's the smartest man alive? That doesn't seem believable. You need to make sure that he isn't too powerful or else readers will see him as a Mary Sue and not be interested. He doesn't have many flaws. Add some more to make him more believable. Does he just not have any prejudices? Come on he has to have something he just doesn't like because he was taught not to like it. I can see how he's a misunderstood as a villain if he's blowing places up and burning them to the ground.
-History
What did he learn that's beyond modern science? Does he know anything else? He is OP because he can make a gun from a pipe, made his own fighting style, and seems too independent for a 7 year old. Also you have a few typos. Your sentences are too long and it's weird to read because it's and to understand everything when not in short sentences. Don't write your book here, just give me the backstory. Tell me that he wanted to kill his father but changed his mind. Then an assassin came and killed his father for him.