forum Can I have a review?

Started July 14, 2018 by @Sugar-Lover

tune

So basically I have my plot: A theater kid, Juliana, who is known one the stage, but not so much off it. Juliana or Jules has a best friend, Jack, since she was six. Jack, or Jackson, has been through thick and thin with her. The greatest example would be when she was eight her mom died, and when she was eleven her dad happily remarried. Jack is also a theater kid who is extremely geeky. One time while onstage, Joshua – Juliana's long time crush – notices her beauty onstage and asks her out, with Jack being unknowingly. They go out a couple of times as friends, they start to spend more time together, which comes with the affect of her spending less time with Jack. The lack of time spent between the best friends causes Jack to come across his feelings towards Jules. As he planes to tell her about his feelings, Jules and Joshua kiss. Jules rushes to tell her best friend, this is her first kiss. Jack manages to confess before she can speak, startled she agrees she has the same feelings toward him. As she thinks about the topic she realizes she has actually had the same feelings toward him. Confused she no longer knows which boy screams love louder in her head.

Sometime later Juliana gets into a car accident, ends up in the hospital unconscious. She wakes up, still very unstable. Sadly she dies while still in the hospital unable to recover. Jackson and Joshua both realize that they weren't truly in love with Jules but instead in love with each other. The fall in love, wishing they had found this out before Juliana had died, so she could have gotten a true chance at love.

Juliana- Charlotte Holly
Jackson- Jackson Coletti
Joshua- Myles Weston

Can I have plot and character review? Anything is helpful, thank you

I would, but they're marked as Private.

Man for one, love the plot. I got a bit confused at the love triangle before she died, but that just might be my stupid brain. Anyway just like make sure you have everything well and planned out. Also all of the character's names start with J and kind of sound the same. So you might want to think about renaming at least one of them so readers don't get confused. The characters are marked as private so I can't review them now, but I will when I get the chance.

I changed the settings for my characters

Juliana- Charlotte Holly
Jackson- Jackson Coletti
Joshua- Myles Weston

They seem good, but some elaboration would be nice as opposed to one word answers. I also agree with @Suspicious_Reptiles about the J names.

I reviewed my characters, thank you all for the feed back

for all of you that were confused about the love triangle:

Juliana nickname is Gem

So basically while during a school play Joshua noticed Gem and Jack acting onstage, he noticed how they were interacting with each other. He got jealous of them and all he knew was he wanted those two to be separated. He thought his feelings were that he liked Jules and wanted Jack away from her, but instead it was the other way around.

With the lack of time spent between Jack and Gem, Jack feels jealous of how much time is being spent between Joshua and Jules. He feels he likes Jules, instead he likes Joshua.

After Jules dies they both realize they have the same feelings even after shes gone, and that the feelings were meant for each other and not her.

(dies laughing bc I have characters named Julianna and Jackson who are polar opposites and in different universes.)
I’m am now dying laughing at this comment?

I CAN READ MINDS