Shaun: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.
Shaun: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
Jesse : The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.
Jesse : I will not yield.
Jesse : cocks gun Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.
(ASKDJFASDKJFLKASJFKASFJ ATHESE ARE SO GREAT YES OMG)
"they get sad when they fight" YES AHHAHAA
Cherry: Hold the fuck up!
Also Cherry: Im the fuck up. Please hold me
Fbi: you're under arrest for being so darn cute!!
Shauns cat: 0.0
Fbi: Just kidding we know you killed that man
Shaun: You ever meet someone who is the human form of crumbs on your bed?
Jesse: ….
_
Jesse: Is it still murder if i give them a heads up?
Cherry: That's a threat 0-0
Its beauty thats what it is
Incorrect quotes generator
"Ive been zoned out for the past two and a half hours" honestly thats me and Angela lmao
I just meant all of it its amazing lol
Shaun: God (aka secretly his cat) works in mysterious ways
Cherry: She fell down the stairs and broke her neck!
Jesse: no that was me
Shaun: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have. (Said smile is absolutely terrifying, like this man's face distorts to fit his huge toothy ass disturbing smile)
im sorry guys im having too much fun with these omg
The kind of smile that gives even Jesse shivers
Shaun smiles for the first time around Jesse: :D
Jesse: throws up
I'M NOT EVEN JOKING THE MAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SMILE WITHOUT MAKING IT GROTESQUE AND HORRIFYING
Cass: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Jax: Killed without hesitation.
Cass: No.
Jesse : If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Shaun : Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".