Astrid froze in her tracks. Her entire body almost appeared to sink into the ground as her head sunk into her neck. Her face drooped and, instead of nerves or anxiety, she felt somber. and lethargic.
"Should I assume Roger is dead, too, then?"
Her voice contrasted every word that escaped her mouth since then, and her underlying emotion in her words layered that. She blinked her eyes slowly, a desire to run away before she explodes grows in her heart as she feels the pressure again, the inability to move, the sweat that dripped down her skin even though she felt like she was in a blizzard. Or was it the other way around? Hot, but frozen? Cold, but melting? She didn't know, she couldn't tell, and frankly, she wanted to fall to her knees.
Juniper froze. She looked to Astrid, her eyes alight in sadness and anger. Whether that anger was directed at herself or the other was unknown. “Don’t you dare assume he is. For one, from the way you talk about him he sounds perfectly capable to live out there. And for two, he isn’t me. I don’t stand a chance where he does. I’m scrawny, weak. I can’t fend for myself if something were to go wrong.” She growled under her breath
“He is capable, I am not.”
Astrid's breath quivered, her heartbeat racing as she shook her head.
You've lasted this long, haven't you?
Why would I give up on the one thing they can't take from me; hope?
Astrid had so much to say, but the only words she could formulate were "I don't know."
"I don't know," She uttered, shaking her head.
"I don't know if he's even alive. Why do I believe he is?"
Juniper had made a mistake. She bit her lip and stepped away slightly, doing the one thing she knew how to when a social situation came up; distance herself. "Because hope is a good thing to have, because you know he is in your bones." She murmured softly, repeating Astrid's own words.
While the female waited for a response, she pulled a ring from a rotting corpse and offered it to Astrid. It would sell for a good price. "I've seen some people who thrive out there. Your brother might be one of them."
Astrid inhaled deeply, barely noticing Juniper's hand offering the ring. She needed to get back home, she needed to find someplace familiar. This particular area she wasn't completely familiar with. She couldn't form a coherent sentence asking Juniper to follow her, but she couldn't stay here when it happened. She needed to calm down.
She bent her knees and grabbed the gravel, running her fingers through it, burying her palms into the dirty material.
She looked back up at Juniper's hand as she sighed.
"I can't take that." She whispered before standing up, looking down to the ground. "If Roger was alive, wouldn't he come back home?"
Juniper didn't know what to do. So she just stood there awkwardly. She wasn't good at this kind of stuff. Not in the least bit. Instead she joined Astrid on the ground, her own hands picking and throwing gravel away from them.
"I don't need it, plus you two need to keep yourselves up and alive." She murmured. When Astrid spoke again, Juniper looked down at her feet, shrugging. "Some people can't find their way home, or join a group… Maybe he's caught up in that secret your parents had… It would make sense." She murmured, offering a smile.
"He's a traitor if that's true."
Astrid uttered, blinking her eyes as she blankly gazed at the ring in Juniper's hands, still unable to reach out and grab it. She stood herself up and huffed, placing her hands on her hips.
"We should get home, Jesse probably has soup for lunch."
Though soup was a daily lunch for Astrid, since that's the only type of food Jesse could afford and preserve, Astrid didn't mind, she knew beggars can't be choosers, so she did her best to feel grateful for each meal.
Juniper cursed under her breath. Her expression was utterly hopeless. She couldn’t use her words for the life of her. She couldn’t console anyone without messing it up. She had been that way since her parents had left her.
“Ah… that would be best. Although I don’t want to eat your food. I’ve asked for too much already.” She stated firmly. “You and your brother are far more important than a random stranger who comes into your home bleeding and dirty.” Juniper laughed softly at the thought. “Man, no wonder your brother doesn’t like or trust me. I’m a complete stranger to you two.”
Astrid chuckled softly from Juniper's words, utterly baffled by how repeatedly Juniper would put herself down like that. Does Juniper want Astrid to hate her? Is that why Juniper is trying so desperately to convince Astrid that she's that of less of a human being? Astrid shook her head at the thought, rolling her eyes up into the foggy sky one more time, either in curiosity, admiration, or desire.
"You're not a stranger anymore. I know your name, I know yo-" Astrid's abrupt pause almost said more than what she was about to say, and she looked down from the sky toward Juniper's direction.
"What's your favorite color?"
No one was this kind to the street rat. That is exactly why she was trying so hard to put herself down. If she let herself believe that someone actually liked her as a human being then she would just get hurt when it turned out to be all a lie. She wanted desperately for everyone to believe she was a horrid creature. That made doing the things she did seem almost verified.
Juniper glanced over at the friendly Astrid and smiled softly. Though having one person tell her she was human was enough to clear those thoughts from her mind. Maybe she wasn't so bad of a person… "My favorite color?" She asked softly, repeating the question but not quite understanding it. Her brain clicked, and a bright smile lit up her face. "Rusted metal! That dark almost brownish-red is mesmerizing."
Astrid grinned widely, the corners of her mouth reaching heights she'd never reached as she blinked her eyes in the glistening lights of the city that only barely held any luminosity. Rusted metal, she thought to herself as she imagined the color before her.
"Roger's hair is almost that color, but it's closer to orange." She muttered, rubbing her palms together in a comforting intent.
"Its a good color." She replied. She found beauty in the rust. For some reason she just couldn't notice any other color but that. "He should be happy to have it as a hair color." Juniper laughed as she thought, sighing sadly. "You know, out there," She nodded towards the edge of the city. "there are many rusted things to look at. Old cars and ships, cans, spoons, just a ton of things one wouldn't really find interesting at all. But I like them. I used to collect a lot of the items I found along the way. They're still hanging in my 'camp.' No one has found it yet and there really isn't anything interesting to look at. Unless you really like rusted metal." She chimed, laughing at herself. She had things from forks to old glasses purely because of the color they were. She even had rust-stained shirts used for bedding and comfort.
"Your camp?" Astrid murmurs, curiosity piling into her eyes as she kicks a rock on the gravel. Her hands remained buried in her pockets of her jacket and occasionally she would look up to observe her path, ensuring she was still on the right one.
"What's that like? Do you have shelter in case of rain?"
Rain had it's upsides and it's downsides. On the one hand, rain shielded the gas-like smell and the endless dry, crusty air, but on the other hand, when it rained, it rained, and often times people died of pneumonia, hypothermia, and even from a more intense exposure to the gasses. Astrid was always inside when it rained, watching it from the window.
“It’s alright. A lot of times I’m caught outside in the rain…” She murmured, biting her lip at the thought. “Shelter is hard to find out there.” Juniper shifted at the thought of the rain. There were places it rained acid out there. She had been caught in that too. It burned her skin badly.
(AH sorry responses are always so heavily delayed! Idk if they'll get too much better this week bc I've gotta cram on homework)
Astrid furrowed her brows, a mild scowl sneaking across her face as her eyes fall to the ground.
"Every time it rains, you should come to our house. I know you said you don't want to stay at our place forever, but at least when you need to, you're always welcome."
The neighborhood that Astrid so comfortably recognized reached her eyes as the scowl dissipates, a skip in her step faintly appearing.
(Don’t worry about it! ^•^ I understand being busy. I’ve been prepping for college.)
“Thank you Astrid.” The girl smiled softly. It was nice to be treated like a human. She probably would return sometimes with a lot of things for Astrid to look through and Jesse to use.
“Ah, though it’s really not all that bad out there. Sometimes you find a lot of extremely cool things. I always find old buildings and a few skyscrapers still standing yet abandoned. They’re wonderfully stocked with all sorts of old relics.”
Astrid's eyes perked up, like a flickering light finally settling on emanating luminosity. She halted and whipped around, hopeful curiosity filling her face.
"You've been around the whole place, do you think you've seen my brother? The one that went missing?"
Surely if he's still alive, he'd have to be wandering around somewhere, right? He's super tall, and has dark skin like me. He looks mildly intimidating, too."
She paused as well, wracking her memories for any sort of person. “I’ve seen a lot of people, but I do have in mind a few people like that. Two helped me out when I was attacked and one tried to kill me.” She laughed softly.
“I don’t remember much of them. But if your brother Jesse would be willing, I could take you two to the areas that those happened.” She said softly.
Astrid's eyes, though already glowing like a campfire in the distance would glow, somehow managed to ascend in brightness, as Juniper's suggestion caresses her expression with layers of hope.
"Could you really? Jesse would be so excited, we could finally find Roger!"
She jumped up and down as she walked back to her house, unable to contain the energy that ran through her. Astrid had never felt as happy as she did now.
“Of course. I mean we would need a lot more items and a lot more money but it could be done.” She replied, watching the girl bounce with excitement.
“I’m sure Jesse wouldn’t mind either. Hopefully everything will be alright.”
Astrid grins as she reaches their house, the sun residing in the middle of the sky and painting it's rays across the ground.
"Jesse might be out right now, but he comes home for lunch."
Polygon was nowhere in sight, but something tells Astrid that he followed Jesse.
Juniper shivered slightly. She found herself wishing the sun would come back down. She missed it when it was cooler sometimes. Her eyes settled on the house, a soft sigh leaving her throat. “We’ll ask him then.”
She found herself doubting her ability to lead these two amazing people into the wild of the radioactive earth. Could she do it on her own? Would sheget one of them killed? She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did.
Astrid opened the door, noticing a few things added to the table; a brown paper lunch bag that seemed to be holding something in it, two water bottles, one half full, and a worn blanket. She approached the table to see a note, scribbled in poor handwriting; "For June. When you run out, come back here."
Confused, Astrid picked up the note and studied it, knowing the handwriting was Jesse's but wondering why this has been set out so early.
Juniper moved to Astrid’s side, looking at the bag curiously. “Did he leave you a lunch? So kind.” Then her eyes fell on the note. She frowned. “June? Is that me? I’ve never been called June before.” She murmured, trying to figure out why the note was there.
“Am I being kicked out early?” She asked with a laugh. “Because I don’t mind leaving now, but I do want to help you, Astrid.”
At that moment, the front door squeaked open. Jesse kicked off his boots and shrugged off his jacket, freezing when he noticed Juniper and Astrid at the table.
"I didn't think you two would be back so early."
He approached the two girls as Astrid furrowed her brow at him, holding out the note in front of him.
"What's this note supposed to mean?" She uttered, unable to be assertive but her interrogation still gave off the sense of certainty. Jesse looked at the note, a hint of disgust at his own words flashed in his eyes, but quickly disappeared as he snatched the note from Astrid.
"Nothing," he murmured as he crumbled up the paper and stuck it in his pocket. "I was just trying to find some things for June to take with her when she leaves. Shit's ruthless out there."
