He was right outside the door. He hadn't left, and was even closer than she had been expecting. Carefully and slowly, Lily pulled herself up off the floor, leaning against the wall to open the door just a bit. She peeked down, the distraught expression on her face easing at the sight of him. Home. Though, her dark eyes flashed worriedly at the sight of the tears on his face.
She found herself slipping out, kneeling in front of him with her brows furrowed. Her hands lifted, fingers brushing ever so lightly along the tear tracks, a movement that didn't make her feel the need to throw up, before one of her hands found his. Also okay. Testing the waters was a risky endeavor, but she had to know where certain things stood. "I-" She croaked out, having to pause to breathe. "Are you okay?"
Rhydar drew back into himself, then blinked slowly as his vision wavered and steadily came back. He was now moving like one would when conscious, his breathing more pronounced by the rise and fall of his chest instead of the death-like stillness he had previously. He didn't wait for his vision to clear, however, as he smiled softly, almost sadly, and tilted his head a bit into the palm of her hand on his face. "I'm okay," he whispered, hands moving to lightly hook his fingers around hers without actually grabbing her. He took a deep breath, then closed his eyes and murmured, "I know."
Lily's heart dropped.
Those two words, spoken from the man she wanted to be with forever, felt like being plunged into a basin of ice water. The blood left her face, her lips parting as suddenly air seemed determined to avoid her lungs. He knew. How did he know? That was beside the point. The real problem was that Rhydar knew. "You-" She couldn't speak again. Her voice had failed her again, her heart a complete mess and her stomach nothing but nerves and panic and the overwhelming urge to leave, to find the washroom and empty her stomach of anything she'd eaten in the past hour. He knew. "You know-you know what I am. Why I-I'm not-Fates."
Rhydar opened his eyes quickly, the emerald green bright and flashing with concern and love and some more emotions mixed together into something else. He tucked his legs beneath himself so he was leaning on his knees while he reached up and gently took Lily's face in his hands, palms just barely touching her skin. "Lily, Lily, darling, listen to me, please," he whispered, "It changes nothing. I still love you, as I said earlier. You're still my beautiful flower and when I look at you, I only see the survivor I knew you were." She might be concerned about the siren as well, he mused, then decided to touch on that as well. "What you are doesn't matter to me—you're still you. I fell in love with you for a reason, and I'm not about to suddenly change my mind just because of your past and heritage."
"I'm n-no flower. I'm just-just Lily. Useless-" Lily ducked her head, clinging to his hand like she was afraid of him leaving. Even as she tried to convince him to do so. For his best interest. But she didn't want him to go. Even if she knew he'd be better off with someone who wasn't her. And then he was mentioning what she was beyond her past. Mentioning the things she'd inherited, and telling her that it didn't matter.
And maybe, just maybe, that was reason enough to hold on to him. She wasn't a sex object or a monster or both. Because 'just Lily' to him was incredible. It was still so strange, but gradually, she was wondering if maybe he really meant that.
Rhydar brushed his thumbs over her cheeks and pressed a soft and fleeting kiss to her forehead. "You're far from useless, Lily. Believe me when I say you are not what they made you think you were. You're not like them, you're nothing like what they wanted to make you believe you were. You're an amazing, sweet, incredibly caring, adorable girl that managed to wrap a royal thieving rascal around her cute little finger." He smiled softly and maneuvered his pinky on one hand to gently hook around one of her fingers. "And this rascal would like to request a hug so he can show you that he loves you and doesn't ever want to let you go if he can help it."
Lily huffed a soft laugh of sorts at Rhydar calling himself rascal, her head still ducked as she sniffled. She couldn't see it. Everything he said, how could it be true, when she'd spent eight years being told that a dog had more use and worth than she did? Maybe it is. He can't just believe something without reason, can he? She squeezed his finger lightly, nodding just slightly. "I-might be a-able to do that. Just a-short one. Small hug. Maybe." She said quietly, finally looking up at him. Her eyes were growing lighter, slowly but surely, which was definitely an improvement from the near-black just earlier.
His thumb gently brushed over her lashes as he smiled softly, waiting to make sure she was okay before he did anything. He saw the lighter color in her eyes and let out a small breath of relief, beyond happy that she was starting to be okay. The replacement of the dress had clearly helped, as had his attempt to pull her out of her head with the cold water. He'll just keep this brief so he doesn't undo what he worked hard to achieve.
Rhydar reached out and wrapped his arms around Lily, pulling her into his chest while keeping his grip loose so he didn't spook her or suffocate her. "I'm sorry for what life has thrown at you," he whispered as he buried his face into the scared girl's hair, "but I promise to give you whatever I can to help you move on and see yourself how I see you."
Lily rested her head on his shoulder, hands finding his arms to hook around them, holding onto him. While she might not have been able to handle hugging him back fully, she could absolutely do that. And honestly..she was glad. With everything, somehow, choosing physical comfort after an episode like that felt like winning. It felt like getting back at Riko and his men. Like taking control of her own life, after the control they had taken from her.
"I hope I can, some day. And Rhydar, you don't-that isn't something for you to apologize for. It was in no way your fault."
Rhydar just sighed softly and pressed a kiss to her hair, staying there for a bit as his eyes were closed and he savored the feeling of Lily in his arms. It wasn't anything overly special, not compared to anything else he's managed to help her with, but it was special in this context. She had just had a panic attack because of her past and all the triggers she has been exposed to today—him being one of them—and here she was, allowing him to hold her close without freaking out.
As proud as he was of her and as much as he wanted to keep her there forever, he knew he couldn't. Rhydar reluctantly let her go and lifted his head to look down at her, fingers lightly hooking around her wrists like usual. "You okay?" he murmured.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I’m okay. Doing better, at least.” She murmured, taking a bit longer to pull her head away from his shoulder. If she could last, she would. As long as possible.
Lily finally tilted her head back, looking up at Rhydar and studying his face. Every line, every curve and shape that made his face unique. Those emerald green eyes. This was her Rhydar. Why had she let herself be afraid of him? Why had she let her fear of someone else cause her to be unable to look him in the eyes? “Thank you. Thank you, Rhydar.”
His fingers ran up and down her wrists, gently caressing her skin as much as he could for now. He wouldn't go in for any more kisses than he had already risked, and he sure as hell wouldn't try to kiss her properly right now. His eyes flickered all over her face, memorizing her features. Those beautiful yet ever-changing eyes he adored and loved to get lost in, her silky blonde hair that his fingers would glide through effortlessly, her small frame that he could just hold all day. She was definitely more than just her looks, and Rhydar had fallen for her sweet personality and caring habits before he had let himself admire her natural beauty. And still, each and every feature he studied held a bit of that hidden part he fell in love with.
He saw her kindness in her eyes, her loving nature in her rosy cheeks, her determination in the set of her jaw, her loyalty in her stature. He saw the demons she fought day and night beneath her skin, her bravery and courage glowing bright just above and covering them. He loved her for who she was, not for what she was. He would tell her that for as long as they both lived, even if she finally started to realize that. "You want to stay here or go to one of our rooms?" Rhydar murmured, figuring she'd be more comfortable not on the floor and out of Cinthia's chambers.
Lily blinked, tilting her head quizzically before computing what he was asking. She glanced around Cinthia's room, her eyes landing finally on Rhydar once again. "Um….could we go to one of our rooms? Somewhere a bit more comfortable than the floor in someone else's room…" She said softly, her eyes drifting downwards like she felt embarrassed asking. "But-can you stay with me? I don't want to deal with people, but I also…being too alone might make it worse."
Rhydar gently placed a single finger under her chin and used it to tip her head up, forcing her to look at him again. He wore a soft and kind smile, not at all judging her for not wanting to be alone. "Of course, Lily." He reached out and lightly grasped her hands so he could pull her up with him as he stood. His room was probably the best option. He wouldn't be able to provide any physical comfort, but maybe being around a room full of him might be comfort enough. Maybe.
Lily let Rhydar lead her along, holding carefully to his hand like she was afraid of accidentally letting go. Her fingers rested on his wrist, feeling his pulse as they walked, using it as a way to ground herself. It reminded her of the night he'd comforted her after her nightmare. Speaking of…. "Rhydar? I have something I need to tell you. Er-I have a few, but this one's more important right now." She said quietly, playing with his hand as she mulled over how best to tell him about the vision.
Rhydar tilted his head towards Lily, showing her that he was listening as he walked. It didn't take long to reach his chambers, and he used his free hand to open the door and pull her into his bedroom, as it was late and it'd be easier for them both to fall asleep if they were already in there. Though, he knew he'd be giving her the bed for the entire night. He didn't mind.
The flooring was a deep mahogany, stretching throughout the entire bedroom and covered by the simple woven forest green rug beneath the soft green-themed canopy bed and the desk sitting next to the headboard. There were lamps sitting on multiple surfaces—shelves, the dresser, the bookshelf, the desk, anything—all burning at a low light and casting the area in a warm glow. The walls had random pencil sketches drawn all over them from a child-like boredom, but the stretches of twine decorated with false autumn leaves hanging from the ceiling drew the eye from them. There was one specific stand with a hand-carved mirror hanging above it that was covered in small boxes of jewelry and trinkets. Another chest was sitting next to that with presumably more larger trinkets. A door led to his walk-in closet, and another one—that was open—led to a seemingly empty room save for the single piano sitting grand and proud.
Lily had fallen silent again, waiting until they were at their destination to talk, only to find herself momentarily distracted. She came to a stop just inside Rhydar's room, blinking a few times as she looked around. It definitely screamed Rhydar. From the trinkets, to the nature-esque color scheme and decorations, everything fit together like pieces of a puzzle. "It doesn't look quite like I pictured, but it's somehow even more fitting." She commented, her hand still tucked in his. She looked back at him, eyes crinkling slightly in a tiny smile. Almost as if she was afraid of breaking something, she padded carefully further into the room, still looking around. "Are those leaves?"
Rhydar followed her in, stopping and walking whenever she did so he didn't disconnect their hands. All he could do was watch her and smile as she took in his room. She was so adorable, and he couldn't help but melt even more when she turned around and offered a tiny smile. She was getting better, he noted, albeit slowly. Slowly was better than never, however, so he'd take it. When she asked about the leaves, he tipped his head up and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. I got bored one day and found some twine while looking at the autumn leaves, then asked the local artisans how to make false leaves so they didn't decay over time. Entertained me for about a week, and I haven't felt like taking them down."
((No?? This is a private and already ongoing roleplay))
“They’re so pretty.” Lily said, eyes trailing alone the twine and fake leaves as a smile stuck to her lips. Small, still. But there. “Your room has so much more…personality than the one I’m staying in. Mine is so empty, minus the gifted flowers. Yours though, it reminds me a bit of the forests along my family’s farm.” Her smile grew a bit, fingers playing with his again as she spoke. “Oh, right. I uh. I had to tell you something.”
Rhydar laughed softly, then gently tugged her over to his bed so they could sit down. "Well, I've been stuck here for a lot longer than you have," he commented, leaving most of the curtains around his bed drawn back so it didn't get even darker than the room already was. He pulled Lily onto the cushioned mattress covered with a thick but cool silk comforter, then let go of her hand to slide off and retrieve a light for them. He didn't get one of the lamps set out, but a decorated lantern that was hanging in his closet. He was quick to come back to Lily, the lantern already lit, and set it in front of her as he crawled back onto the bed on the other side of the light. "What is it?" he asked once settled.
When Rhydar sat back down, she scooted just a tiny bit closer to him, fiddling with her hands. Mainly, obviously, the ring. "It was a vision. Not one I had—I don't have visions—but Wolf's. And it was more….what he saw." Carefully, Lily relayed the vision, word for word what Wolf had told her. She'd made sure to memorize that, for the sake of not getting any details wrong. This wasn't something to screw up. "I think….I think he might have seen your wings. It was important, he said, and it…everything seemed to be a hint."
Rhydar's lips parted as he listened to Lily, and by the time she stopped talking, his heart was beating a mile a minute. He looked away and ran his hand up and down his face, then dug it into his hair. "Are you sure?" he asked softy, as if afraid of what her answer would be. He had long accepted what he had lost, but now, with that possibility… He was hopeful, but scared. He wanted it to be right, to believe Lily was right and that he could get his wings back, but he was also scared that it'd all be ripped away from him again.
