Calista chuckled at the change in attitude, glad that Hawkin wasn't worrying about the future anymore. Though the idea of him dressing up more than he already was just to make a statement and confuse his former boss… it didn't seem like something the Jedi of the last order would do, but she didn't sense any harm in allowing it.
She let the banter between her Padawan and Dex stay between them, only raising a brow when Hawkin sent her a look that clearly told her Dex had said something sarcastic again. It almost made her wonder if there was something specific in Dex that made him that way or if it was just as common in droids as it was in other sentients.
“Change always feels strange at first.” she assured, feeling his nervousness. “But I learned that sometimes change is also necessary.”
(AAHHHHH I’LL RESPOND WHEN I GET OFF OF WORK, I’m moving back into college so this week has been fast)
(Ok. No rush if you're busy with school stuff or work.)
(I’m gonna do itttt, hopefully once I move in again, and get settled back in a routine, my responses will become significantly more regular!)
Hawkin stopped and looked back at Calista.
“This change kind of hurts. It’s all I’ve ever known, and the fear behind it, is something that I’ve never felt. Even walking through the undercity, fear was there, but this is just so different. You know? I know I’ve said it a million times today, but my life has been uprooted and I took a shot, and I don’t regret it, but I’m terrified I’ve made the wrong choice.”
He sighed loudly and turn around and looked at all the shops and people walking by in their daily lives.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know what to think. I’m overwhelmed, and seeing someone who I know, who kept me alive, for four years, and now I leave him, for something brighter that will give something bigger than me, hope? It’s bittersweet.”
He walked forward and gestured to everywhere, at the lives of the people that passed by.
“I don’t even know how to hold a real conversation. I know how to talk to people, like Sonto, but people of higher class? The ones who used to give me their broken things to fix? What if they see me as a broken thing? I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to respond to that.”
Dex beeped softly.
“Hawkin, you’re spiraling. You’re gonna be just fine. Just be you.”
And in a small show of affection, the droid folded down and got even closer to Hawkin’s back.
Calista raised a brow at the mention of fear, not quite sure if he was afraid of becoming a Jedi or if he meant that fear had been something of a constant in his life in general. Either way, she felt it would be something she would have to help him with. She could understand that the undercity was a seedy place in general but she rarely made trips there herself.
She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, giving Dex a grateful look for the help. "He's right, Hawkin. You are not broken and no one should make you feel like that." she told him. "When we go to the Senate, I'll be with you the entire time. So if you don't know how to respond to something, then I can and will help you." she promised with an assuring smile.
"As to your other concern, moving on to something new is often bittersweet." she admitted. "But if he cares for you enough to, to use your words, "keep you alive for four years" then he should be proud of you and happy that you have this opportunity."
Hawkin looked gratefully at Calista.
"I'm starting to realize that. And I appreciate what you'll do for me when we go into the senate. I don't know what I'll say or even how to respond. New people in a new environment, and I'm the new person so I'm going to be a focal point."
He spun in his outfit and gave a little flourish.
"That's part of the reason I'm wearing this outfit. If someone is going to stare at me like I'm the newest court jester, I at least need to look somewhat nice. As for the old man who raised me, it depends on what mood you catch him in. He kept me alive, but was he happy to do so? For some days, yes, others, no. Let's hope today is a good day. One thing is for certain, he'll be excited for whatever. Me leaving, me going off to do something great, winning the lottery, getting a really busted ship in that needs so many repairs, anything new that draws his attention or draws attention to himself, he'll love."
Hawkin flourished again.
"Once again, this is why I'm wearing this outfit. I've gotta look pretty spiffy."
Dex whirred.
"Hawkin, am I new and exciting?"
A small chuckle escaped from Hawkin.
"Yes Dex, you're the oldest, newest and most exciting thing I've ever dealt with."
A long hum came from Dex.
"I thought so. Wait. What does oldest newest mean?"
Hawkin shifted the droid carrier on his back and smiled broadly.
"Well, you tell me Dex. You're the oldest droid I've ever met, but you have some of the newest wiring. Oldest newest."
Dex chirped.
"Ah. You were poking fun at me. I see. I'll get you back later. Maybe in front of the senators."
A series of clicks and beeps erupted out of Dex, and Hawkin knew that he was laughing.
Calista smiled warmly and nodded at his words, though she couldn't help the chuckle at how he showed off his new appearance. “You are no court jester unless you act like one. You are my Padawan. A future Jedi Knight. A very honorable and respected title and very important.” she assured, hoping the responsibility wouldn't be too overwhelming.
Though she furrowed her brow thoughtfully at the way Hawkin elaborated on the relationship between him and his boss. “Hopefully, he will be excited for you.” she mused, nodding at the idea he had regarding his clothes.
“I have to agree, Dex. You are new, not just because of the work done to repair you but because of the old knowledge you can share. It's been so long, that the knowledge is new in a way.” she added, with a semi-playful smile at the droid.
Dex stood as tall as he could, and chirped happily.
"My knowledge of the High Republic is in high demand wouldn't you say?"
Hawkin laughed.
"Yeah buddy, I'd say it is. Something new out of something old. That's the motto around here. Or at least it is now."
Hawkin stretched.
"Alrighty Calista. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be, future Jedi Knight or not, the future awaits. Hopefully some excitement is in my future regarding the man who took care of me, but you know, and this is strictly speaking in the Jedi sense,"
He started snapping his fingers.
"Ah what do you say? It's some Jedi saying. How we're like never truly alone and there's peace? I don't know fully, but it's something like that. What I do know,"
He lifted his arms dramatically.
"That all the new things that I have gotten are starting to get heavy. I've got to go drop these off or I fear, my arms will fall off."
He smiled broadly, and started to laugh.
Calista chuckled at Dex’s preening but didn't argue with him or Hawkin’s encouragement. Though she raised a brow at his attempt to quote something. “It sounds like you are mixing another saying with the old Jedi code.” she mused, trying to infer what saying Hawkin was thinking of. “As Jedi, it's true, we’re never really alone because the Force is always with us and it connects us with all living things. But…” she trailed off as he started to laugh at himself before rolling her eyes with a smirk. “Ah, ad. Give them here.” she shook her head, still chuckling, lifting her hand slightly as she already started taking some of his bags with the Force. “We’re almost home anyway. It's just around the corner.”
Hawkin furrowed his brow.
"I've only truly known you for a day, but I really forget that the Force helps move stuff around using your mind. It's such a weird concept, and to think that I have that power somewhere inside me. As for that code? It was joked about at the mechanic shop. The one rule I know really well was not forming attachments of the romantic kind. The old guys used to joke that the poor Jedi couldn't even land a girlfriend or a wife."
He gestured to himself.
"I mean look at me. I scream avoid me, I have never talked to a girl a day in my life. So it's probably accurate. Enough of that though, the Force seems like such a huge entity, so how does it… just exist. It's still conceptually difficult to me that there are funny little things in my blood that add to the amount of Force that I can use at any given time. It's just, weird. That's the best that I can do to explain it. I got spooky little blood ghost things that help me move stuff with my mind. When I explain it that way, it's just, well, ridiculous."
He held his arms out for Calista to help him with the bags.
“You’ll get used to it.” Calista assured as she used the Force to take more than half of the bags Hawkin was carrying. “Actually, there were a few Jedi who were married because of cultural reasons of their homeworld. But that's not part of the Code. That was a vow… of celibacy and chastity. It was believed that those vows would help a Jedi focus on the Force and strengthen their connection to it.” she clarified before smirking slightly. “You've been talking to me all day and I haven't seen any problems. And you might want to take a second look at yourself. You’re thinking of the drowned womp rat look you had before.” she chuckled, looking at how he looked in his new clothes and the Padawan braid in his hair.
“The truth? I don't know how it exists. I just know that it does and that I can feel it. It is a part of us, of the whole galaxy.” She laughed again as he tried to explain it in such a… unique way. “If it's hard for you to think about, then perhaps you should stop thinking about it with your head and just let yourself feel it.” she suggested as they entered the lift to her apartment.
Hawkin couldn't help but laugh.
"I'll give that one to you, the drowned womp rat comment was pretty good. I do look significantly better than previously. As for the Force, I think I just need to accept that everyone talks in riddles about it and just let it happen. Which tracks. And I meant more young ladies my age. I can talk to adults just fine, but pretty girls my age scare me very much so. Something about them meeting my gaze and saying hello really makes me panic, you know? Anyways, moving on, let me ask you this question.
He watched as Calista took some of the bags and watched in fascination. He looked up and met her gaze.
"Since the old order is gone, and you're on a path to re-establish a new order, will you follow the old order? Or, and this is what I'm getting at, will you now allow yourself to find someone to love? As far as I know, Yoda is long gone, and if we really think about it, the Jedi is kind of like a culture, so why wouldn't the new order now include having children? If you really think about it, the Jedi are an endangered species. Or kind at least."
“Well, if you think I’m talking in riddles, maybe I should let people call me a Jedi Master.” Calista shrugged with a slight smile, conceding the point.
Though she paused at his question regarding the old order. “I hadn't thought about that yet. Whether force-sensitivity can be passed down through a family… seems like a topic for debate considering how many Jedi there used to be without that being a factor.” she pondered. “Obviously, we are going to be making changes to the Order… and Dex did say that those kinds of relationships were encouraged before. You also had some good points about it earlier.” she recalled, her fingers fiddling with the beskar chain she rarely ever took off. A thoughtful hum was barely heard as the lift stopped at their floor. “I… I wasn't sure that I would ever find a Padawan. Yet, here you are. I’m still not sure if I will find a relationship with another… but I won’t close myself off from one.” she nodded, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “And if you find one for yourself, I won't stop you.”
Hawkin smiled broadly as he stepped off of the lift.
"I just kind of appeared. Poof, here's Hawkin. A little mechanic lad, with a droid that's at least ten times older than me. As for girls? A Jedi girlfriend doesn't sound so bad. Although, she'd have to exist first. Can't have an imaginary girl ya know? People might start to think I'm crazy or something. But I'm in no rush. I got a sick looking droid, a cool Jedi master that's going to teach me cool stuff, a mechanic business I started a few hours ago, speaking of which, I don't know if I have to do taxes for that or not,"
He paused for a second and thought for a moment.
"Oh well. I'll figure that out later. I just have things that I have to do first before I find the imaginary girl. It can wait."
“I think ‘young’ would fit you better than ‘little’. You are a head taller than I am.” Calista pointed out with a chuckle as they walked on to their apartment. “And I think Dex is more than ten times older than both of us.”
She shook her head at the idea of an imaginary Jedi girlfriend as it seemed too soon just because of the low number of known Jedi currently living in the galaxy. But maybe one day…
“Oh, before I forget.” she perked up, reaching inside her robes and pulling out the gloves she had purchased earlier. “These are for you. They should help you with any accidental Echoes until we are able to help you better control it.” she explained as she held them out to him.
Hawkin smiled.
"I am tall for my age. That's what breathing in hyperfuel does to ya. That accelerated growth or what not. It does something to ya though, I do know that. I've definitely felt like I was on another planet after breathing that in. Crazy stuff."
Hawkin stopped at the door to Calista's abode, as she held out the gloves, he smiled and took them.
"I appreciate it. These will come in handy."
He chuckled at his pun.
"Anyways, they look sick. My mechanic self is loving how they look, they're scrapper gloves, and looking at them, with a reinforced palm and knuckles. Plus,"
He held his hand up, and wiggled his fingers.
"My fingers stay free. I can still feel the delicate things I normally work with. I really like these. However, I'm going to hold onto these and put them in my pocket for now. They don't really match with the senator outfit. But when we're done with the senate, I will put them on as soon as possible because I am itching to modify them and add cool mech stuff. Like maybe a lighter or something when I rub my knuckles across my palm. It's going to be so cool."
“And I believe Dex mentioned that you're going to get taller?” Calista raised a playful brow. “Hopefully, getting you away from all that hyperfuel will have you growing at a normal speed again.” she teased, though she made a mental note to get him either a rebreather for if he worked around hyperfuel again or to, at least, have him medically checked out.
She smiled as he admired his new gloves, rolling her eyes at the joke, but was interested in how he might modify them. “Banara did mention that you might appreciate having your fingers free for that reason. But I am glad that you like them.” she admitted, as they entered the apartment. “You don't have to wear them to the Senate meeting if you’re that worried about how you look.”
Hawkin laughed.
"Yeah. I should be. Like I said I don't remember my parents, but from what I was told they both were tall. But that again could also be a lie. A lot of things are coming to light now, that I know now were things I've kinda ignored. As for the senate, I'm just trying to make a good first impression. After that, whatever I look like is whatever they get. From a greasy mechanic, to a refined kid that I don't know, maybe likes reading some poetry or history or schematics, it will depend on the day. I'm just hoping for the best."
Hawkin walked in and set the bags down and breathed deeply. He looked at the gloves, and he tucked them into the back of his pants.
He smiled at Calista.
"Alrighty, let's get this show on the road. The day awaits."
“I don't remember my parents either.” Calista admitted with a shrug. “But I have a feeling that our reasons are different.” she smiled assuringly as she dropped off her share of the bags.
Though she chuckled at his “plan” regarding future senate meetings. “That's one thing about these old robes. The Senate is used to them and I don't have to worry about what I look like.”
“Lead the way, young Padawan. I’m looking forward to meeting your old boss and explaining.” she nodded with a wave of her hand for him to take her to the right place.
Hawkin shrugged and laughed softly.
"Yeah I was orphaned. My parents left me or they straight up died. Whatever way, I don't think it did much. I turned out okay, ish. I'm alive and doing something out in this big old galaxy. Now I'm getting ready to go see the old boss man and the senate. What a wild life."
Hawkin made sure Dex was in the right position, and he walked to the door. He turned and smiled.
"Leading the way master. Let's go explain and meet new people."
Hawkin walked out and stepped on the lift, and pressed a few buttons that would take them to the surface. When the doors opened, he felt the wind on his face. A close distance away, he could see the senate building. He turned his head and eyes a looked at the familiar shop that he had worked at many times before. He talked over his should to Dex.
"Well here goes nothing. Let's talk to the old man."
He began walking towards the old shop, and at the door he coughed, gaining the attention of the old man who he had known so well. The old man hopped down off of his stool, and scurried over.
"How do you do young man, what can I help you with?"
Hawkin smiled.
"I don't need help, I'm just telling you that I won't be coming back into work."
The old man looked up and narrowed his eyes, and thought for a moment.
"Hawkin? Is that you?"
