forum What are some of your funniest game stories?

Started May 04, 2021 by @zabazoo

tune

My group is currently trying to pretend to be the descendants of a long-dead monarch and it's hilarious

This just happened, I failed a stealth check and walked into a trash can and an old lady leaned out of her window and called for the guards, my character tried to make a convincing cat sound but failed the Charisma check but luckily the guards didn't come

My last session: Feat. Kobold theify boi named Gutts and an edgelord named Icy, tired dad druid, and me, a wizard with a pet

We have to investigate a shady politician, so ofc we're going to break into his house. So druid dad and I decide to change my familiar into a spider and set it off into the house. I can use voodoo magic stuff to see through its eyes and all that. So while I'm casting the ritual spell (1 hour) in the nearby stand of trees with druid dad keeping an eye out, Gutts and Icy decide "Hey, no one's home so let's break in anyways." Druid dad basically says fine but you're on your own if you get caught. So they go off to break into his house.

They break in and go about investigating. Icy is actually looking and Gutts is stealing salt, pepper, random everyday items like left shoes and fishing gear. First red flag, they find a little girl's room. Gutts ofc steals her piggybank money. Instead of leaving, they keep snooping. Icy gets to the top floor Gutts keeps rummaging around for random stuff to steal. They both roll less than 5 on perception and fail to see the homeowner, a large burly fisherman we met before, approaching his very open door with visible footprints of snow leading inside. They also fail to notice the trail of guards that follow. Gutts gets caught, somehow throws his sword at them, and says "Listen, I know its bad to steal but I didn't know it was your house. My bad." and promptly gets hauled away. Icy hids in a closet, shouts "you cant see me!" and also gets arrested.

spoiler for swearing, but it was accurate to the party.

Spoiler - click to show.

tdlr, made our team dad player say "not again…" to half his party being arrested on the first sesison.

Our showoff of a monk: Punches a dretch twice and caves its head in
The DM:

One of our party members was turned into a toad and put into a box with a bunch of other toads, so when she was transformed back, our barbarian took a toad with him and now we have Eugene, the Not-Yet-Dead Toad

I've only played DnD once. My friends and I did a one shot, and all our DM told us was that it took place in the real world, and we would be playing ourselves, but that there was still magic (since the whole purpose of this campaign was to get us acquainted with how everything works).
Anyways, turned out that the whole thing was based on the Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf video, and he was the final boss that we had to defeat. I figured it out when one of my friends got her leg caught in a bear trap, but the moment when it was revealed was amazing. Once we figured it out, we kept quoting the original video at pretty much every given opportunity.
It's been a while so I don't remember a lot of the details, but I remember my friend who got stuck in the bear trap lost a ton of health and in order to bring it up a bit my other friend turned her into an elephant. The whole thing was a pretty wild ride tbh.

live from my Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign:
Crimes were committed, so now my party I making masks to disguise after being caught cause we're very smart. Our kobold made a mask out of a beartrap. A set one. ofc, this means our murder gnome is going to test it several times. He hits the trap and goes down, fails a death save, gets hit by failed medicine saves, and dies.

Our DM is merciful and lets him revive somehow, and immediately upon waking the gnome launches across the firepit to try and punch the kobold again.

Arhan, our monk got put to sleep and immediately when he woke up he started meditating and heard "The voice of Qui Gon Jinn or Liam Neeson saying 'Use the monk stuff, Arhan.'"

So the D&D class I was in ended but now that the academic school year is over, we're doing another campaign with some different people, the guy who was our monk is the DM and it's already become chaos

We have the pyromaniac druid elf twins, Aust(that's me!) and Eda
Our monk, also a pyromaniac, Arson "Florida Man" The Arsonist
A rogue named Luz Smith
And a ranger who's come close to death twice this session and is kind of just there

I slayed Goblin #3, who managed to avoid every one of our attacks on a single hit point for much too long a time

So the D&D class I was in ended but now that the academic school year is over, we're doing another campaign with some different people, the guy who was our monk is the DM and it's already become chaos

We have the pyromaniac druid elf twins, Aust(that's me!) and Eda
Our monk, also a pyromaniac, Arson "Florida Man" The Arsonist
A rogue named Luz Smith
And a ranger who's come close to death twice this session and is kind of just there

I slayed Goblin #3, who managed to avoid every one of our attacks on a single hit point for much too long a time

someone needs to pick up some water spells for all that arson >.>

Good news!! We found a decanter of endless water lmao

update: Aust and Eda can talk to mice now and Aust is also a goblin furry, also Luz died

I died for five bucks an hour into the campaign.

So the party, after a whole hour of figuring it out, finally finds the entrance into the dungeon cause it was hidden under a specific layer of dirt. We finally, FINALLY, get in and are immediately met with a split in the path. There are two doors. One is a simple wooden door on the left and the other is some special looking door with a weird mask/face above it. Everyone in the party is like "we goin left" but one of the players says, "I'll pay anyone five dollars if they go into the door with the face." So, my greedy and dumb ass made my intelligent and studious dragonborn cleric walk into the door with the weird face.
I might add, the entire time this was happening, the DM was writhing in guilt with his head in his hands. He announces to the party: "You walk through and see that its very dark. You walk forward in hopes of finding a light. All of a sudden you forget why you are here. Slowly, you forget the members of the party before forgetting who you are, and vanishing with no trace of yourself left."

I don't remember if that was a homebrew or legit dnd thing, but long story short, my character ceased existence and died.
For five dollars.

The DM said, and I quote, "I wanted ONE of you to walk through it, but not [Dino]!"
So yeah.

I bring you a 1-minute speed sketch from my latest session. For this campaign (tomb of annihilation) we have to make a lot of characters. Currently, we have power built Ranger v.2 who got an enchanted bow that uses portal mechanics, like the game, and a kenku/bird man rogue. Now this rogue is aptly and bluntly named "Spitter." This ongoing joke is that every time he is mildly offended or just wants to cause trouble he spits on people (cue gross preparing-to-spit noises) which of course happens every ten minutes or so. So anyways, we're getting our butts kicked by a ghost, Spitter goes down, and our ranger backs up to use his new portal bow. Spitter wakes up, sees the portal, and learns how the mechanics work.

I am very tempted to actually draw this but I feel like this terrible sketchy quality fits the campaign rather well

I think this campgain is the only one where the phrase "roll a sheev spin check" is common

my first campaign, a one-shot- jasper, half-orc fighter, strength 15, was beaten in an arm-wrestling match by a lady so old she could barely move, who was looking for something she'd never seen before (she would let us pass if we did). jasper started crying hysterically, sobbing crying being an emotional wreck after the lady called her weak. the stone lady said she'd never seen such a strong person cry that much, so she let us pass.

this forum is so dead but i do not care i am putting all of my group's fun stories here adsjf

for context here are the characters:
Cypress Me! - an Aarakocran owl Echo Knight that's 7-feet tall with a 6-foot long sword. Says she's a shit person, but is actually the most morally correct out of the party, out for revenge and always verY angry at everyone
Hindu - a trickster centaur cleric with a massive equine dumptruck that says he's the nicest but actually did not hesitate to roundhouse horse-kick a tied and already beaten man. broke down sobbing when he saw Rex kill a deer.
Aglair - a mercenary hexblade warlock Geonasi that talks with his sword, Malik, all the time. the most competent of the party but also the one who gets into the most humiliating situations.
Rex - an absolute halfling ranger menace we want him all dead. at level ONE he had 20 dex and chose to straight up kill a security guard all because he was a minor inconvenience.

Story ONE aka how our party got together:

Let's start with Hindu. He was out in the town and he overheard some kids talking about a haunted house. Hindu was like "oh shit for real?" and then began following the trail to the house. Along the way, he stopped to watch a deer peacefully graze in a field. And then Rex leaped from the bushes and brutally massacred the creature. Hindu fell to his knees and fully sobbed. In his vulnerable state, Cypress and then Aglair came up from behind and just watched him for a few moments. They didn't see Rex at all. Hindu finally composed himself and walked by both Cypress and Aglair.

Cypress was sent to take out a bunch of "ghosts" at some haunted house for some money. She ran into Hindu, asked where he was going and he said that he was going to check out the haunted house up on the cliff. Cypress was now in kill mode bc that's her money that she's supposed to get for taking out ghosts but then Hindu flipped the script by saying that he's a ghost. He rolled a Nat 20 on his deception check and now Cypress was trying to kill him for being a ghost. Naturally, she rolled a 2 on her attack and Hindu used thaumaturgy to float four rocks around Cypress. He told her they were his ghost friends. He rolled a 17 on deception. Cypress does a beyblade spin around with her sword and only knocks down two of the rocks. She was fully convinced this guy's a ghost. She leaped up, trying to attack him, but Hindu used Command and said "fall!" and so Cypress fell over and Hindu sprinted away towards the haunted house. Algair watched this all happen like prime cinema and Rex was lounging on the corpse of a deer. To this point in our campaign, Cypress is still not fully convinced Hindu isn't a ghost.

Story TWO aka human nachos:

Aglair got his fire hexblade, Malik, stolen by some goon. The party later found that goon was dead and surrounded by at five corpses, all of which died from Malik. The party fought the reanimated corpse Malik was controlling and easily won. Not wanting the goons' boss to come by and think they killed them, the party dragged the six corpses (and the two they killed earlier) to a corner in a complex cave system and tried to light them on fire to incinerate them. However, they had no fuel for any fire so Aglair was just constantly casting fireball at a heap of corpses. Hindu got the bright idea to douse them in wine, but wine isn't very high in alcohol and it did nothing but make them smell worse. Finally, Cypress deducted that this plan wasn't going to work. So, what did any rational party decide to do? They decided to cut the melted and slightly-conjoined disgusting amalgamation of goons into smaller pieces and then throw them into the ocean. When the goons' boss returned, the party told him that they all went drinking at a bar somewhere and it's likely they would never come back.

Story THREE aka straight up killing an innocent dude:

Long story short, Rex shot an unarmed security guard with a Nat 20 arrow straight through the heart and caused the entire party to become fugitives of the state.

My campaign was about putting together a time-traveling orb, and like three players died, two of which got resurrected, and my druid lost her familiar. And when they put the orb pieces together it exploded , essentially ruining all of their progress. (I'm a nice DM I swear)

so the rouge in my party had beef with my warlock and we had entered a room full of mirrors and the rouge decided to push me in a mirror and apparently the mirror had shown a path of my life if I decided to not do something in my past so when I came back I tried to push him down a large stairwell and I failed the strength check I ended up smacking my self in the face taking 1 hp and i decided to just let go of it from then on until he pushed me off a cliff and i had fallen to my death and i pretty much was a pancake waiting for the cleric to heal me annoyed at my rouge as he laughed