forum How do I make a realistic depressed character as a person without clinical depression?

Started April 02, 2019 by Rachel

tune

hello 👋🏼 As a person who had depression, here are some tips I have =)

Depression is not always just “sad”. There are tons of emotions, which is why it’s hard to deal with. There can be apathy, hopelessness, anger, anxiety, loneliness, numbness, negativity, fatigue, loss of appetite, emptiness, shame.

Depression doesn’t mean that you had a horrible past. Straight A students can get depression. Millionaires can get depression. People with amazing families can get depression. Not just those who were abused.

Here are some links for more things =)
https://www.writerscookbook.com/how-to-write-about-depression/
http://hannahheath-writer.blogspot.com/2016/10/how-to-write-characters-with-depression.html

i've had depression for quite a while so here's a couple tips. this is not set in stone though, everyone is different:

-a big part of depression is being tired all. the fucking. time. search up the spoon system for a better explanation
-when i get depression episodes, or when it gets real bad, i just feel all the energy leave my body, there's a weight on my chest that makes it an ordeal to breathe, and i usually have to lie down because i lack the strength to do anything else. for me this lasts a couple hours to a day, but i've trained myself out of it mostly. for others it's days, weeks even.
-not all depressed people are suicidal and not all depressed people self-harm.

I have depression so let me help!

• It's not just sadness, it's also apathy
• A commonly overlooked side effect is the feeling of wanting to do something, but not wanting to at the same time, such as going "Hey, I want to read something" and then reading 5 pages of a book before being uninterested.

Yeah, this is all good stuff so far! I'm just gonna hold onto this thread because my protagonist has depression, and while I do too, it's good to hear how other people might experience it.
For you, I would suggest that you avoid writing about things like suicidal thoughts, and probably self-harm too. This is mostly because you have not experienced them, and it's already very difficult to approach those topics sensitively.
Another thing! Love doesn't cure depression, and things that make a depressed person happier don't cure it either. It's a long battle usually, and it would actually be nice to see more characters who don't suddenly "get over it" or whatever it is they do. They can get better temporarily, but it's likely they'll have more depressive episodes in the future, so acknowledge that and don't fall into the trap of "they got better."
Other than that, whatever you do, don't romanticize it, and don't make your character a lazy jerk who uses it as an excuse.

For you, I would suggest that you avoid writing about things like suicidal thoughts, and probably self-harm too. This is mostly because you have not experienced them, and it's already very difficult to approach those topics sensitively.

I 100000000% agree with this.

I have been professionally diagnosed with severe depression (it's on a spectrum, it's quite interesting actually) and never in my life have I cut into myself. I've thought of suicide but have never had the balls to even pick up a bottle of ibuprofen.

I also do suggest you read up on certain symptoms of depression. Like Jyn, I experience (extreme) loss of interest, I get sad at random times, I have random mood swings. And I eat. A lot when I'm feeling depressed.

Of course, I think it's a good time to try and research how a young person can battle depression too. Perhaps you can walk through therapy sessions (which for me work), have them try and get moving, and perhals touch in what has caused their depression. Because depending on the trauma, depression can vary. Like in my case, I literally watched something die, and I am incredibly stressed out. I feel like if your character has been physically abused, it will be different from my depression.

Going off what Emi said

• I've also been diagnosed with depression, and have had it for 2 years. I've never self-harmed or attempted suicide, but I have had suicidal thoughts.
• Depression is caused by different factors, mine started off as a side effect of a medication and persisted once I was off it. A character who has a seemingly perfect life could have depression, as could a soldier who's fought in many wars
• Avoid the 'love cures depression' trope at all costs. Although being around a loved one can make you feel happier, it doesn't erase the depression entirely.
• It can sometimes come in waves, and it sometimes hits at odd times.
• Like Emi said, it's a spectrum, so figure out where your character falls on it.

Also, if I'm not mistaken, males and females tend to have different collections of symptoms (not always, but it's common), so it might be a good idea to look into that some?

continuing on what emi and jyn said:

• i haven't been diagnosed with depression because my parents don't want it to be documented in case it gets in the way of a job or w/e, but my mother is a psychologist and she's admitted that i have depression and anxiety because it's genetic on her side of the family, so you could try to make your character have genetic depression
  -depression can also happen if the parent goes through something traumatic while pregnant (i'm talking extreme grief, drugs, alcohol etc)
• i've had depression for about 4 years, except mine started because i'm trans and my puberty triggered the depression, i also immigrated around the same time and the first year was really hard
  -agreeing with what jyn said, literally anyone can have depression, no matter what life they have. it's a lack of chemicals in the brain, so you can't really control it