@ElderGodSeeba petsbing bing 🐸
Im running out of ideas and I've just started
Eric: Asshole Ferret. Long and snooty and definitely eats fabrics for fun. Pisses on EVERYTHING even though he's completely desexed. Hides under the fridge and bites your fingers when you try to fish him out cause he's bored. He disappears for an indiscriminate amount of time and returns with like 7 STDs and conjunctivitis.
Colton: Whorish street cat. Has slept with every cat in the neighbourhood and is yet to be stopped. He's mean but not in like an aggressive way, in like a spiritual way. Someone rescued him off the street and now he lives the life of an indoor cat and though he misses his sluttish antics, he's slowly warming to the idea of some random guy providing his livelihood. Acts cute and then attacks you cause he's a piece of shit. probably has super rabies.
Shane: One of those fancy long-haired cats that will scream at you for attention but will hiss and scratch if you even dare so touch them. Brings you gifts of mice but the mice are alive and it's not a gift cause he's an asshole. Probably nice to like, one guy, who probably just smokes weed and eats zebra cakes. Flips his food bowl for fun
Memphis: 100% a golden retriever. Probably has an Instagram account where his owners post photos of him digging in the sand or something. The definition of "mans best friend". Very friendly in sorta goofy quirky way. Just your average dog, likes to be pet and fussed over. Lives a fully happy life too, something he's not used to doing in any other circumstance! <3
Craig: You know thoughts tiktoks of the horses who like foster orphaned foals? Yeah, he's one of those. Looks after little babies till they grow up and go on their own path. Probably cries when they leave :( . Definitely one of those horses that just sticks his ENTIRE HEAD through the lounge room window and screams so loud Helen Kellers lying ass can hear it from hell.
Jay: Definitely a show dog but like in the worst way. Has no pizazz or grace, he was just the only dog that would jump through the fire ring. Has absolutely no regard for his safety, has been set on fire at least 6 times. He's a bright orange pomeranian and his brain is the size of a small pea. His eyes look in two different directions but that's okay <3
Jack: Lop-eared bunny rabbit. Came from a neglectful home so he's really shy at first but he warms up really quick. Spends most of his time sleeping and chewing through anything wooden he can find; his obsession with wood is slightly concerning. Hides from people and prefers to play alone, but overall friendly and well-behaved. 10/10
Markus: HE'S ONE OF THOSE HAMSTERS THAT LOOK REALLY DISMAYED- Like the ones that look at you with the mouth open and head set back in shock and slight offence. Stuffs way more in his cheeks than he can handle and then requires assistance to remove it. Plays dead and then suddenly comes back to life halfway through your mourning process. Screams when he's restless (he just wants to feel something)
Dennis: He's a Mutt. A stupid one too. Eats everything he can get his grubby little paws on and then runs head first into a closed sliding door. The kinda dog that gets his head stuck in the railings of the stairs and just sit there a bark till someone comes and fixes it for him. He's really sweet though, loves to cuddle and is great with all kinds of people. He eats a battery and dies young though so none of that really matters anyway :/