forum Would this character be considered asexual?
Started by @All_The_Snakes_In_Ireland
tune

people_alt 60 followers

@All_The_Snakes_In_Ireland

Hi, quick question: I have a character (female) who
-Enjoys flirting
-Enjoys kissing
-Does not enjoy/desire sex
-Wants close platonic relationships but not sexual or romantic relationships
Would asexual be a fair term to describe this character or is their a more appropriate one?
Thanks!

@Young-Dusty-the-Monarch-of-Dusteria group

To my knowledge, asexuality is a spectrum to a certain extent, so yes, I think this character could be described as ace. I suggest doing more research to find out the details/terminology, but in my mind (as an ace person) they would still count as asexual ^^

Deleted user

Because she doesn’t desire a relationship but enjoys flirting and kissing, I’d say she’s aro-grey ace.

ofc idk

@Pickles-EmpressOfKangarooRatsAndAceSnail

@Pickles group

Ace people can still enjoy romantic relationships and even enjoy sex, it's all about whether or not they feel attraction, so if your character doesn't feel sexual attraction, they're ace. Similarly, if they don't experience romantic attraction, they'd be aromantic
There are other terms on the ace spec that you might find more appropriate for your character but I'm not sure based on my knowledge of them, including:
Demisexual: only feels sexual attraction to people they have a close bond with
Greysexual (there might be a hyphen. I can't remember): experiences sexual attraction, but very rarely
And of course, celibate: this is NOT on the ace spectrum, as it is choosing not to have sex
These aren't all of them because there are a lot, but these are some of the more common and the ones that seem they might fit your character more than others
hope this helps at least a little lmao

@Pickles group

Because she doesn’t desire a relationship but enjoys flirting and kissing, I’d say she’s aro-grey ace.

ofc idk

@Pickles-EmpressOfKangarooRatsAndAceSnail

I saw this chat and started typing a response right before you tagged me-
Also imma @Owen because she knows a lot more about the specifics than I do

@berlioz

Thanks Pickles!
Pickles said it pretty well ready, the only criteria to be asexual is the complete lack of sexual attraction. Some people, like your character, may not want a sexual relationship, but they doesn't mean they don't experience sexual attraction. Maybe they're practicing celibacy or abstinence, and don't want to participate in sex, at least not yet. The same goes for romance- some people wait or decide not to have a romantic relationship, but that doesn't mean they don't experience the attraction. If your character doesn't experience sexual attraction, they're asexual. If they don't experience romantic attraction, they're aromantic. Those are the only qualifiers. An ace or aro may enjoy kissing and flirting, because they may not define those things as strictly sexual or romantic. Your character wants a close platonic relationship- in the community we call that a QPR, a Queer Platonic Relationship. Some people like to kiss their QPP (Queer Platonic Partner) as show of platonic affection. Another term for a QPP is a zucchini. Zucchini is used the same as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but it highlights that the relationship is a platonic.

@berlioz

Another term for a QPP is a zucchini. Zucchini is used the same as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but it highlights that the relationship is a platonic.

Wait really? I didn't know that, that's cool XD

Lol yeah. I think it started out as a joke within the aro community over the lack of more intimate words for friends

@Young-Dusty-the-Monarch-of-Dusteria group

Another term for a QPP is a zucchini. Zucchini is used the same as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but it highlights that the relationship is a platonic.

Wait really? I didn't know that, that's cool XD

Lol yeah. I think it started out as a joke within the aro community over the lack of more intimate words for friends

I will definitely be remembering this lol, thanks for sharing your knowledge >w<