forum Would anyone like to look at my boy? ^^

Started August 15, 2019 by @Kaloobia

tune

His name is Noah, he's part of a boy band, and he's one of my oldest OCs on this site. I'm hoping to fine-tune him a little more, because he's beefed up quite a lot since his last critique.
Thank you!

Ok, so I've never done a critique before so I don't think this is gonna be very good, but here we go…

So, honestly? I loved Noah. He is very complex and at sometimes even relatable, and you can really see why he is the way he is.
My only problem with him is that the way you described his social anxiety doesn't really match with how he behaves. I know that his confidence and easiness in social situations is probably just a facade, but speaking from personal experience, when you are in a state of constant fear and anxiety, especially if it is as intense as you described it, people can usually tell it's just a facade. It doesn't matter how hard you try hide it, when you are in a state of complete and absolute panic you cannot make it convincing. Your hands start to shake, your pulse rushes, your pupils dilate, you sweat profusely, and every time you try to speak your voice is shaky. It would be expected for someone to notice that he was not ok, especially because he seems to have a really supportive and caring group of friends.
But you describe him as very open, and genuinely happy to talk to people. Even his body language gives the impression that he is someone you can open up to. Portraying yourself the way he does, while always beeing afraid of showing weakness and feeling like a burden, is different from showing signs of panic syndrome (which he does).
So although it's clear that he has some sort of anxiety, (and you can see that by reading the rest of his profile) I don't think someone who feels the way you said he felt in the "conditions" section would realistic behave the way he does, especially considering that he isn't being treated for his disorder.

I would like to add that this is literally the only "problem" I found in the profile, and I think you can solve that just by changing the way you describe it in the "conditions" section, because the rest of the profile makes it pretty clear that he is not as easygoing as he seems. He is such a great character! Honestly, I feel kinda bad for him… Both of his parents show signs of having narcissistic nersonality disorder (NPD), and growing up with them sounds like absolute hell! I have a character who grew up with a NPD parent and it was pretty terrible. Having both of your parents showing signs of the disorder… Oof, poor kid

@Rose Hey thank you for the detailed response!! :-)

I'm actually a little surprised he shows signs of panic disorder, as that isn't exactly what I was going for! I hope you don't think I'm getting too personal, but most of Noah's social anxiety symptoms are based off my own, and the way I have learned to deal with it: you are absolutely right, it can be very obvious that a person is nervous and uncomfortable in social situations, but Noah has been learning all his life how to hide it, or how to distract from it, with jokes and by playing it up as awkward charm. He is not in the constant state of absolute panic, more like constant vigilance, constant paranoia: on some level it is his responsibility to make sure nothing bad happens, because that will be his fault (even if rationally he knows it's out of his control). He sort of hopes being at ease (or acting like it) will facilitate an easy interaction where everything is fine, everyone's fine. If that makes any sense.

I am very happy that you like him in general!!!! I will definitely fix up his Conditions tab a little, make it more clear. And yeah the parents thing sucks :/ I hope it's clear that they at least partially are responsible for his anxiety? Anyway.

Thank you again for your help! And your compliments haha