Another side character, but I've worked on him a lot recently through a haze of inspiration and productivity? And I'm actually sort of proud. BUT don't let that stop you from going ham! I'm very eager for critique and ways to improve, please don't feel the need to hold back :) It's his first time getting critiqued anyway, there's bound to be a lot of stuff haha. Thank you in advance!
Wow, I love him! He's well-thoughtout and realistic. I feel like I've met him, and I relate to him a lot! I think he's awesome, so this critique is going to be disappointingly short (you're likely a better writer than me, so there's not much I can say here, lol).
Nature
For conditions, you've given him kind of a weak reason to not take his meds. Why go through all the trouble getting diagnosed and prescribed medications for his anxiety disorder, only to not take them? Are his panic attacks debilitating or are they simply annoyances? Do they often crop up during work, or while he's alone, or just randomly? How does it effect his daily life/interactions/relationships? For motivations…honestly I love his motivation a lot. It's so grounded and realistic. Although (here's me nit-picking) does one have to write a thesis to graduate med school? (I hope not. I'm planning on going.) I love his flaws, but I am curious –why doesn't he like to confide in others? Are his parents a bit cold and tend not to talk about their feelings, or was it childhood friendships that taught him not to talk about it? Or is it just part of his anxiety? Less of a critique and more of a curiosity thing, I guess. For his prejudice, does he have a prejudice against people like him who squander their benefits? Is he critical of lazy, wealthy people who haven't worked a day in their lives? For his talents, how does he always keep a cool head if he has anxiety and doesn't take his meds? Panic attacks aren't often convenient…and for med school/problem solving/clinical stuff, I think the panic attack thing would be more of an issue. His hobbies are so soft ugh I love them. I guess his personality type explains the cool head vs anxiety thing, but I would still write a bit more about it explaining how/when his anxiety effects him. Otherwise, wow, so in depth!
Social
Let me be overly nit-picky again. Residency comes after medical school, and very rarely do people go exactly where they want for residency, so the odds of him working at the hospital are pretty slim. Anyway, that really doesn't matter, I'm just grasping at straws here because your character is so good.
History
Good, simple, solid background. I have nothing else to say.
Overall
As you can see, I had to be overly critical and nit-picky to actual get any sort of critique on the page. Well done dude. You could not change a thing and still have an interesting and well-fleshed out character.
@"CW-Write Like You're Running Out Of Time" Hi, and thank you for your time!
Just. This whole thing is so sweet and nice, thank you for taking the time and you definitely said some pertinent things that I’ll keep in mind as I work to improve him!! Thanks again for your help and your compliments :) :) :)
Ohhh okay, now the emotional suppression makes more sense! I skimmed the attraction part, but I guess I missed that. The anxiety thing makes more sense, too, although I'm not quite certain how you self-diagnose GAD vs a Panic Disorder. How did he make the distinction? Was it mostly Google self-diagnosis, or did he do more intense research on it in undergrad or med school?
Again, I'm being overly critical because there's really n o t h i n g to criticize lol. I'm glad my comments are at least somewhat helpful!
He distinguishes it because, I think I wrote this, his panic attacks are "uncommon": by that I meant maybe once every other month, when his cycle of piling work on top of work on top of worry on top of work all comes to a screeching halt as he has a meltdown. To Kalani this is deemed "normal", "I'm overworking myself, it's my fault, what can you do haha" kind of attitude about it. GAD is characterized by excessive worrying in your day-to-day life, constantly anticipating disaster from every little thing, even in the back of your mind: this fits Kalani to a T, whereas Panic Disorder is more along the lines of "spontaneous, seemingly out-of-the blue panic attacks", which, again, Kalani thinks it makes PERFECT SENSE why he has meltdowns. He's researched it to the best of his abilities without, you know, asking anybody he knows about it because "then they'll suspect D:" (as if they don't already).
THAT GOT LONG SORRY but I hope it makes sense! I'm super duper invested in and excited about human psychology, so I love questions like these haha. And thank you again! ^^
I love that your so passionate/informed on the topic dude! I love psychology as well. That definitely makes more sense and clears stuff up!
:-)