forum Will yall critique my character?
Started by Amstance
tune

people_alt 2 followers

barabara

First of all for Ellen, there's a lot that can be added to her mannerisms. You can add how she fidgets, how she smiles, how she laughs, how she lies. How can you tell she's distracted, surprised, nervous, or excited. Does she cross her legs, tap her feet, cross her arms. Mannerisms are all about body expression. What you have is great, but it might belong in the personality category. Her motivation is good. Even though it can seems small, I like the originality of it. If anything you might want to expand on her friendship goals a bit more, but it really is a strong start. For her flaws, go on to explain how keeping all of her emotions inside effects her negatively. Her talents can be expanded on by stating some virtues she has. Is she perseverant or hardworking? You could also say some of the things she's learned to be good at through time and patience. One of her talents could be socializing, since her motivation is to make friends. Her hobby looks good, but usually people have more than one hobby. Does she also enjoy making flower bouquets? Is she artistic? Her personality is really basic. Being carefree is only one thing about her when there is so much more you can add. How does she express herself to the world? Is she an introvert or an extrovert? Who is she deep inside? Her personality is a key part of who she is and it should have more to it. For the whole social section, I would consider writing more about how those became her favorites/religion/political opinion/occupation. Those little things will add to her as a character. Her education can be improved by saying what level she is in basic subjects like reading and math instead of saying she was self-taught. What did she teach herself to do? Her background is well thought out and developed. I would use your background as a foundation for who you want your character to be. Just one thing to consider adding to her background is how her thinking changed as her history went on. The notes are very useful to understanding her character.
Overall, I think you have a very strong start to a unique character. Happy writing!