forum uh Critique my character the sequel!
Started by @Paperok
tune

people_alt 11 followers

@WriteOutofTime

Everything looks great up until the nature section! The first problem I see is mannerisms. A mannerism is a small action someone does habitually, so twiddling thumbs, rocking on heels, etc. are all mannerisms. Your mannerism "speaks emotionally" is kind of vague and confusing and isn't really a mannerism. I like her motivation, but her flaws are basically the same thing restated without any other flaws at all. Wanting to protect someone is not a flaw. She's going to need some personality flaws, too. The prejudice is a very strong prejudice, especially when coupled with her backstory, so good job on that. For hobbies, you say she tutors? What does she teach?

The social section: Religion is good, but I'm a little confused about the politics. How is that a political view? Maybe elaborate on that a little. Everything else is strong and well done.

History: Angel and Angelica? Interestingly similar names. I think her background is a very interesting premise, but could use more detail. How did she and her sister react to the sacrifices? How did their parents treat them –with neglect, or overly strict? Did they know all along that their parents were crazy or were they shocked when their parents turned on Angel? Does Angelica have nightmares about killing them? Was it an accident? Does she regret it? Is she on the run? Where is she now?

Overall, good job! Angelica is an awesome character.