Here's my objective for you, dear reader. You love making believable characters, yes? Are you anxious that your ideas may be poor, and want them to be reevaluated by a strong, caring community? Well then, let's make a trade. I give you, Public Analysis™! You put out your thoughts, I give out mine, we all have a cheery time!
As my first post in this discussion, I will put out my OC, Sparky.
You can find his page here–> click me!
Please, beloved community, evaluate the fuck outta him! Don't hold yourself back, it's the very definition of constructive criticism!
Sparky seems so cute! My advice is to flesh out his personality and history more. I feel like I know a lot about Sparky in terms of looks and base observations, but I don't really feel like I know his true personality and what he's really like. I'd love to see more about how he is around strangers vs friends, how those personality traits manifest, and how he would treat me based on the situation. Other than that, he seems really neat!
here's my typical gay hobgoblin, Ali! go ham!
Well, to start, He's just a beautiful character. So complex and well-rounded, you must've gone *so far* out of your way to truly develop the nooks of Ali's personality. All this leaves me with a satisfying and "full" feeling like I've already known this person my whole life! After skimming through your pages, I can only describe my final opinion as euphoric. One thing (mostly nitpicking) that caught my eye, that could be expanded upon, is the "stats" field. All of your other fields provide plenty of illustrative information regarding the limitations of your character. While I do so dig the simplistic approach of his abilities, I personally feel a little 2-3 sentence description of exactly what each ability entails would be the perfect cherry on top for your character. Thank you so much for the feedback, btw!
(thank you so much! i just love Ali so much, I will def use your advice!)
Can someone critique mine please? She is from bnha btw.
Name: Mochizuki Hikaru (Her given name is Hikaru. Most people cal her Mochizuki, her friends call her Mochi and her closest friends call her Hikaru
Age: 15
Quirk: Angel Glow
A combination of both her mother and father's quirks. Her mother's quirk is Angel Wings and she has large wings which she can use to fly. (Unlike Hawks, they stay attached to her body.) Her father's quirk, Glow, allows him to emit light from his skin due to his blood containing chemical's that glow (idk science-y stuff lol.) He can make the light brighter but that takes energy and the brighter the light, the more energy used. When trained enough, the glow can become blinding. Mochizuki's quirk is a combination of both of these quirks allowing her to emit light and have wings.
Hero name: Angel
Appearance: Immensely pale, like almost white skin which glows. 5'9"/175cm tall and kinda buff (she has massive wings on her back. We are needing those back muscles). White hair which goes halfway down her back. She has a pair of white wings which are rather large and she is a little self conscious of the size of them. She has grey eyes. She likes to wear clothes that cover her skin as she is also a little self conscious of her glow and being a nuisance to people. Plus she also doesn't want to accidentally blind someone. She tends to wear darker clothes so the glow doesn't shine through it.
Personality: Rather shy and closed off. She tends to think her quirk is a nuisance to other people due to its size and look and struggles to make friends. She has social anxiety, however she gets very concerned for other people's safety and wellbeing. She is a hard worker and tries her best with every task
Backstory: Mochizuki lived a relatively normal life, went to school, studied, but she never knew where she wanted to go in life. She always felt her quirk would make it difficult for her to find a good job. Then one day she was walking in the city and saw a thief steal an old lady's bag. she rushed to help but lacked the courage to chase after the thief. Then a flash of red swooped past her and she watched as a man with wings just like hers, but red, chase down the man and retrieve the bag. He returned it and when he saw Mochizuki he said 'Nice wing's kiddo. Just like mine.' Mochizuki learnt that he was Hawks, a hero. She became inspired by him and decided she wanted to become a hero and learn how to become courageous to fight villains and save people.
Also her next-door neighbor's son, Daichi (4), is her biggest supporter. He loves to hang out with her and go on mini joy rides when she flies. Daichi was quirkless for a while and it seemed he wouldn't get one but he finally did and it's called Mirror Realm. He is able to jump through mirrors and travel to a mirror realm. (Basically imagine the Upsidedown but instead of vines and darkness, make it greyscale and the only colour is from the mirrors which reflect the real world. Great quirk for spy work or to have him as a backup/rescuer if someone gets captured and they have a mirror on them.
Motivations: Wanting to become courageous and help people and overcome her social anxiety.
Strengths: Flight, she is very fast in the air and has learnt how to maneuver quickly and sharply in the air. Later during her schooling at UA, she learns how to focus her brightness onto one part of her body (like fingertip or palm) so she can create a super bright beam. Relatively strong and can carry a lot of weight.
Weaknesses: Horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE for night missions. she literally GLOWS
Sexuality: identified as lesbian at one point but then went through another identity crisis and just goes by queer.