I'm not an experienced critiquer, and your characters are all very well developed, but I'll do my best. I hope I can be at least a bit helpful!
Firstly, it would be helpful to make the time period of the story a bit clearer. I can tell that it's set in a fantasy sort of world (and of course most of this stuff would go in the universe worldbuilding section), but knowing the time period is helpful for character definition. Is it medieval? Steampunk? Graeco-Roman? Modern? This is important when it comes to the reader's understanding of clothing/mannerisms/social status.
The next thing may just be a personal preference, but I'd suggest rounding Seraphine out more and giving her some positive traits or semblance of humanity. I always love characters grappling to reconcile past prejudices or recognizing that people they hate are, in fact, human. I think that Estelle could have some interesting character growth regarding this and Seraphine, but if that doesn't fit in your story that's perfectly fine.
Regarding Estelle: I often have trouble writing firey or hotheaded characters, because they can become nothing more than their most dominant trait. No person is constantly volatile— what's she insecure about? Is there anything that can keep her in check? What's she like when she's alone/tired/sad? Also, her motivation doesn't seem to gel with the rest of her personality. Having her so exclusively focused on a singular goal seems a little out of place with her otherwise devil-may-care attitude.
That's pretty much all I have for you— overall, your stuff is really great. I'd love to read that novel someday. :)
Thank you SO MUCH!!! This is awesome!! I always like to try to clear things up, so I'm just going to try (and I'm probably going to be making a few of these up as I go! ;P)
First, think around 1880's, but fantasized. Electric lighting exists, but technological developments sit second to magic, thus there are very few advanced technologies. Also, clothing is much more practical, especially for women. Think slacks, suits, evening wear; but also longer tunics and more utilitarian coats and boots. Not all together, of course! It's strange sort of turn-of-the-century style blended with a few Renaissance bits. Architecturally, it's very Greek/Roman/Italian.
I'll have to put more time into Seraphine if she didn't come across as human, crap! Essentially, she is motivated by a powerful dream for a utopian society, and she believes that the only one who can lead that society is her because, of course, the idea was hers. This is why she pours so much scheming into becoming queen–it's really out of her own desire to improve. Her fatal flaw is that she doesn't think about who she hurts in the way–especially Estelle.
Estelle does have a massive character arc when she finally meets Seraphine. Her childhood painted Seraphine as a monster who tried to hurt her, when in reality, Seraphine didn't even think about Estelle. On your note about her hotheadedness: a lot of this stems from her one-track mind. Her life has been dominated by the belief that something was stolen from her, and her entire being is focused on getting it back. She does have one massive weakness: her little brother. He's logical and generally manages to keep her in check. If anything were to happen to him, she'd either die or burn down the world. When she's alone, she tends to be dorky and messy, but here's another problem: she believes that she needs to be focused on revenge all the time. When she finds herself relaxed, she feels guilty.
Estelle's most major flaw is that the two most important people in her life are people she hasn't seen for seven years. This has led to her painting the human Seraphine as a monster and her flawed father as a god.
Thank you so much again!! I'll put some work into Estelle's softer side and add a bit more to Seraphine's backstory for some more explanation. This was so, so helpful!! :DDD
