forum Please find flaws in my character. (as in: what is lacking from making her real?)

Started May 31, 2019 by @garden0f3den group

tune

Well I cannot speak for anyone else but………………. I think that she is perfect!! And in every way!! H*ll I would want her as one of my characters!!

Awww! Thank you so much <3 <3 <3 <3

You are very welcome!!! And please keep making characters!! They are amazing! After reading yours I might go back and edit some of mine…

Lol! If you ever want me to take a look, I'll be happy too! ❤❤❤

Sure! If you want you can look at mine!

Hi there! I'm going to point out some irony here, because the biggest flaw I find in your character is the fact that she doesn't have enough flaws. I'll critique her top to bottom, but I'm going to skip appearance because hers is fine and there's not really a way to mess up an appearance anyways.

Nature
I really like her mannerisms and motivation! Her flaws are where things start to fall apart. Hating spiders isn't a character flaw, and then the contradictory flaw of being headstrong vs being a pushover just doesn't quite click for me. Is being headstrong a flaw, or is being a pushover a flaw? Why can't she reach the happy medium? And what other flaws does she have? People who are headstrong are often stubborn and have pretty big tempers, while people who are pushovers are often weak-willed and timid. Choose a set of flaws that all flow together and make sense, and make sure to give her SEVERAL flaws. As of now, you've set up the fact that she's a pushover as a fault of everyone else around her taking advantage of her, rather than her being self-destructive or self-sabotaging. Give her flaws that negatively effect her, but also give her flaws that negatively effect the people around her. Nobody's perfect. Now for prejudices, they make sense given her flaws, but I am curious about why she harbors so much ill-will for Sylphs. No where in her character profile did you explain all of her hatred. It's got to come from somewhere. I like her talents and hobbies a lot! Although, I am kinda curious: why does she steal from humans if she hates Sylphs? Does she have any sort of moral reaction to stealing? At all? Why is she okay with it? Her personality type is…alright, but I think you could bridge the gap between her two personalities a bit better. What traits are shared across the board? Why does she have a fear of rejection? Does that play into her depressed/shy state? And when you say depressed, is it situational depression or does she have a mental illness? And would you say she's shy or just quiet and closed off? Honestly, the best thing you can do is simply write more about her. That would probably clear up most of my critiques!

Social
For religion…I have to ask…how many Sylphs are there? What are the odds that they all unwaveringly follow the same religion? Does she question it at all? Is it just part of their tradition? Why would they all follow the same gods? I also think her politics could use some work. Beyond her mindless hatred, does she have any critical views on the noble's policies? What would she change? Why? If she's some type of ambassador, shouldn't she know a LOT about politics? Here I am, nit-picking as always: for her favorite possession…a necklace that her dead mother owned? That's almost every female protagonist in every fantasy ever. Not that that is a bad thing! Lots of tropes can be spun to be really fresh and interesting. However, unless there is some twist about the necklace –maybe even a subverted trope that she thinks its special, but its not– then you may want to just get rid of that entirely. As you can see, I'm being hyper-critical today of e v e r y t h i n g but I hope at least some of my comments are helpful!

History
AHHH WHERE'S HER BACKGROUND??? Also, the education section is super vague. But back to the important thing: a background would contextualize her personality, especially her motivations and prejudice! Definitely write her a good background!

Overall
Samara has a LOT of potential. I think she's awesome! I love the idea of an ambassador main character, especially since she's got such a prejudice against nobles. I can see a lot of potential for conflict there. The most glaring issues with her character were the lack of flaws and a proper backstory. Everything else should fall into place once you edit those! Good luck!

Okay, thank you. I can see what you mean, I never really looked at any of it that way. I wanted to let you know (and I will add this to her as well) that the ambassador thing is kind of like an eventual thing. Like at the begining of the story she doesn't really do anything, but then things happen when another character (and eventual love interest) comes along, and her grandfather basically forces her to become an ambassador type person. But thank you for the critique! It was really helpful.