forum Please critique my character??
Started by @painters_tape
tune

people_alt 1 follower

@Wry_Wyvern

Looks:
-She's 5'4" and weighs 135 lbs; that's a healthy weight but wouldn't be described as "slim." I'd change the weight to about 120 lbs.
-Why did she cut her hair?
Nature:
-Most of the stuff you put in the mannerisms section seems to belong in the personality section (observant, protective, poor sense of identity). For mannerisms think about what she does when she's happy, angry, excited, upset, etc. How does she carry herself? What words/phrases does she say often?
-Elaborate on "purpose in life."
-You could add some more flaws. Not trusting easily is fine, but it shouldn't be the only thing. What's something else that she struggles with? Is she reckless? Judgmental? Cocky?
-It seems that Selene's defining characteristic is becoming "moody/suspicious/negative in general." This could make her difficult to relate to, and not as fun to write. Add depth, let her have emotions.
-Interesting power. However, you could definitely add some more talents and hobbies. Having her express herself through music is good, but what else? Does she like to read? Stargaze? What is she good at- is she a fast runner, is she good at riddles, can she spot lies easily? No matter how small or trivial, knowing what your character likes and is good at is key to a story.
-Personality traits section is almost empty. Look at MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) to start, and then expand from there. Add traits that make her unique.
-No prejudices. Everyone has some kind of generalized belief ingrained into them, even if they don't like to admit it.
Social:
-Why does she question her beliefs?
-Why does she actively try to stay out of politics? Does she not care or want to care about the issues or are there just more important things going on in her life at the moment?
-Why is her father so protective? Has she ever disagreed with him about staying at home?
-What is her favorite possession/weapon? Even if she doesn't fight, fill out those sections; they help with character development more than you'd think.
History:
-Historical fantasy; intriguing.
-Repeat after me: This. Character. Needs. A. Backstory. How did she discover her powers? What caused her to not trust people? Why is she so protective of her sisters? What was her upbringing like? What parts of her background made her who she is? What key events happened in her past that will be brought up later in the story?

It seems to me that you have an idea for a story and you have an idea of what you want Selene to be like, which is great; I just don't see that in the profile. Take some time to grow your character a little, and once you have her fleshed out, start writing!