forum Please Critique My Character!
Started by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group
tune

people_alt 51 followers

@Celestial-Burst

I’ll give it a go!

First her looks-
So you said she has a blonde streak in her hair, where? Is it in the very back? Ok the right side? The left? And what shade of black? There’s too many shades of colors to not be specific!
And how long is her hair in a pony tail? It’s good to be as specific as possible so you and everyone who reads about her knows exactly what she looks like.
Again, she has light skin, but how light? Porcelain? Fair? Something else?
Her flaws look pretty good, so well done with those!
Her prejudice is interesting, but I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a prejudice. A prejudice is something you believe without there being a reason. Ex: she hates so and so, or dislikes a certain company because of the rumors she’s heard. Believe this world is black and white isn’t necessarily a prejudice. Try giving her something else maybe?
Her flaws seem to heavily out way her pros. Too many flaws can actually disconnect the ready from the character and make the character seem like a damsel in destress, which we don’t want. So I suggest giving her more! I know she has to have some more! Maybe she’s a flirt, or she’s empathetic. Idk! But you do! So put them down!
Why is her favorite animal a fox? Explain! Sorry, I know I’m nitpicking but I really like to go in depth with my critiques lol.
Her background is ok, but I think you can go further in! What about her childhood? Her teen years? How did she become a balance keeper?

That’s all I have! She seems like a pretty well thought out character! Good luck !