you don't have to critique all of them ofc, but here's all 7 of my dear children
destroy them
Eve-Invalid Character
Danny-Invalid Character
Harley-Invalid Character
Essie-Invalid Character
Blair-Invalid Character
Beckett-Invalid Character
Annabel-Invalid Character
The development so far is good, but you didn't really describe their personalities at all. Try going into detail on their personalities and giving them their own little identifying quirks.
I love your story concept. I’m a bit jealous I didn’t think of it myself.
Danny Santiago
-Are his eyes blank white in werwolf form or normally.
-Why is he depressed
-Why are all of your characters so lean?
Eve Chandelier
-Please explain how one can be lanky, slim, and have an hourglass figure?
-She sounds like a perky kind of charachter. If this was your intent good.
I guess Eve and Essie bond over music
In general you never explain why your characters are the way they are. If this is just an outline and you have the info in your head or elsewhere that’s fine. If not then you need to come up with these reasons.
I love your story concept. I’m a bit jealous I didn’t think of it myself.
Danny Santiago
-Are his eyes blank white in werwolf form or normally.
Blank all the time, like all the others
-Why is he depressed
-He's got a lot of regret from killing others, especially his family.
-Anxiety is a bitch
-Why are all of your characters so lean?
A couple reasons, actually:
-They metabolize meat differently
-There's a lot of exercise involved in how they get food, chasing people down and all.Eve Chandelier
-Please explain how one can be lanky, slim, and have an hourglass figure?
-Oof, that must be typo where I forgot to delete words. Sorry! She's actually just lanky.
-She sounds like a perky kind of charachter. If this was your intent good.
-She is, thank you!I guess Eve and Essie bond over music
In general you never explain why your characters are the way they are. If this is just an outline and you have the info in your head or elsewhere that’s fine. If not then you need to come up with these reasons.
-I have them in my head, I just need to get that down on the program,
Beckett is WAY underweight. I know that you said that she's underweight,but this is a hazard to her health. A picture would be nice,too.
Harley: Not much,they could both be way more detailed,though. Hope this helps. :)
Beckett is WAY underweight. I know that you said that she's underweight,but this is a hazard to her health. A picture would be nice,too.
Harley: Not much,they could both be way more detailed,though. Hope this helps. :)
Right. I planned for him to be unhealthily underweight. Thanks for Harley's critique, I'm planning a couple things for him. uwu
—-UPDATE— UPDATED MULTIPLE THINGS ABOUT CHARACTER BIOS, FIXED PERSONALITIES AND WEIGHT—-
aaalrighty lets see how many i can go through before i break down into tears!
also quick note,,,,Eve has Danny's link,,,,,,
Danny- okay, so i noticed he doesn't have a role filled out, but in other names he has "Street Rat", is he called "Street Rat" or is that his role? Either works, though, haha. now, I'm not too critical of the Looks tab, i mean it might be because i'm not too good at describing someone's appearance myself, but it does seem a bit bare. For me, it's still acceptable, but if your goal is to flesh out your character even more, filling in the looks tab can definitely help (maybe even include some of his past to give reasons why he looks certain ways, good job with tying the underweight with the street rat idea! it makes sense). Alright so the mannerisms are good! reasonable mannerisms, however, it might be cool to explain why he has these mannerisms. it can really help define a character. under motivations, great ones! how do his friends motivate him? does he feel the need to protect them? impress them? something else? adding a bit of an explanation to that can definitely flesh out a character. under flaws, it might be reasonable to guess why he's depressed and anxious, but how does this affect his relationships? how he treats others and himself? it can also tie into his mannerisms and motivations. under talents, wow i relate, but he must have a few more. maybe even the basics, if he's a street rat, he should have a few talents about surviving in the streets, ya know. under hobbies, sleeping isn't really a hobby, it's a necessity. i guess crying isn't really a hobby either, but it he cries a lot, it might go under mannerisms, personality, or flaws. the personality is good! i think it could do with a bit more describing, though! under religion, if he's non-religious, he could either be agnostic or atheist! it might also help to explain why he's not religious. under politics, boi do i relate again, but even someone not updated or educated in politics have an opinion, especially considering political stances can influence how one leads a mere group of friends! Under occupation, a werewolf would be more under race. if he doesn't have a job, you could say he's unemployed, and maybe go further to state why he's unemployed. now under favorite food, werewolves should eat too, as far as i'm concerned, but if you're making up the werewolf rules for your character, make sure to explain that, maybe in the race tab. Next, under all the favorites, to make it extra descriptive, answer "why" in all the favorites. why is his favorite color black and neon blue? why is his favorite animal a giraffe? it helps build not only his background, but also the world around him. under the birthday, unless you don't have a year set for his universe yet, he's kind of missing the year of birth. of course, he is missing his background, but i understand wanting to build the character before placing him into a story.
next child
Harley- wow what a nickname, i noticed he is also missing a role? also dear Jesus that boi is tol. (not a bad thing, just took me by surprise) i see his looks tab is a bit lacking as well, i wont go into detail again haha. the mannerisms are also good! but again, try to explain them more thoroughly! the motivations are good too, but again, describing why is key in building your character. he could also do with a bit more flaws and describing their effect on his daily life. his talents and hobbies aren't necessarily talents and hobbies. they could still be worked into them but explain other ones that might influence those talents and hobbies. under religion, could you explain the religion? it might help to have it written down rather than having to look it up a lot. i see the politics tab is missing, don't forget, he might not have an opinion on the government, but he still has a political stance based on his life, view on the world, and religion. same with favorites, answer "why" to all of them. and of course he is also missing his background. other than that, these are some very interesting characters you're building! :)
okay im pretty sure ive entered into another dimension im v tired anyway good luck with your character building
aaalrighty lets see how many i can go through before i break down into tears!
also quick note,,,,Eve has Danny's link,,,,,,
Danny- okay, so i noticed he doesn't have a role filled out, but in other names he has "Street Rat", is he called "Street Rat" or is that his role? Either works, though, haha. now, I'm not too critical of the Looks tab, i mean it might be because i'm not too good at describing someone's appearance myself, but it does seem a bit bare. For me, it's still acceptable, but if your goal is to flesh out your character even more, filling in the looks tab can definitely help (maybe even include some of his past to give reasons why he looks certain ways, good job with tying the underweight with the street rat idea! it makes sense). Alright so the mannerisms are good! reasonable mannerisms, however, it might be cool to explain why he has these mannerisms. it can really help define a character. under motivations, great ones! how do his friends motivate him? does he feel the need to protect them? impress them? something else? adding a bit of an explanation to that can definitely flesh out a character. under flaws, it might be reasonable to guess why he's depressed and anxious, but how does this affect his relationships? how he treats others and himself? it can also tie into his mannerisms and motivations. under talents, wow i relate, but he must have a few more. maybe even the basics, if he's a street rat, he should have a few talents about surviving in the streets, ya know. under hobbies, sleeping isn't really a hobby, it's a necessity. i guess crying isn't really a hobby either, but it he cries a lot, it might go under mannerisms, personality, or flaws. the personality is good! i think it could do with a bit more describing, though! under religion, if he's non-religious, he could either be agnostic or atheist! it might also help to explain why he's not religious. under politics, boi do i relate again, but even someone not updated or educated in politics have an opinion, especially considering political stances can influence how one leads a mere group of friends! Under occupation, a werewolf would be more under race. if he doesn't have a job, you could say he's unemployed, and maybe go further to state why he's unemployed. now under favorite food, werewolves should eat too, as far as i'm concerned, but if you're making up the werewolf rules for your character, make sure to explain that, maybe in the race tab. Next, under all the favorites, to make it extra descriptive, answer "why" in all the favorites. why is his favorite color black and neon blue? why is his favorite animal a giraffe? it helps build not only his background, but also the world around him. under the birthday, unless you don't have a year set for his universe yet, he's kind of missing the year of birth. of course, he is missing his background, but i understand wanting to build the character before placing him into a story.
next child
Harley- wow what a nickname, i noticed he is also missing a role? also dear Jesus that boi is tol. (not a bad thing, just took me by surprise) i see his looks tab is a bit lacking as well, i wont go into detail again haha. the mannerisms are also good! but again, try to explain them more thoroughly! the motivations are good too, but again, describing why is key in building your character. he could also do with a bit more flaws and describing their effect on his daily life. his talents and hobbies aren't necessarily talents and hobbies. they could still be worked into them but explain other ones that might influence those talents and hobbies. under religion, could you explain the religion? it might help to have it written down rather than having to look it up a lot. i see the politics tab is missing, don't forget, he might not have an opinion on the government, but he still has a political stance based on his life, view on the world, and religion. same with favorites, answer "why" to all of them. and of course he is also missing his background. other than that, these are some very interesting characters you're building! :)okay im pretty sure ive entered into another dimension im v tired anyway good luck with your character building
radical dude thanks
the only problem is i legitimately have no clue what im supposed to do w the role tab? idk, it feels weird putting main char, since almost all of these children are MCs? im probably gonna do that though,, yes Harley is a tool thank you for noticing. im probably gonna go fix all of my characters bc now im inspired. that was some rad critique dude thanks
also i don't have a specific year b/c i dont find it as important as having a time period, but thats just me
its probably super important
Glad i could help!