forum Please crique this loser

Started July 22, 2018 by Lacey Kat

tune

This is one of my character, He kind of the one who I feel off about, He's supposed to be a perfectionist chivalrous pervert tracer who is forced into a art competitive

Here's the link, Please give constructive criticism Tyler Tiller

You need to set him to public. :) You can do that by clicking on the white three-connected-dots icon up by the red edit button.

I made it public you can crique it now

expand on the nature things, just Mannerism: flirty gives very little information. What is his favourite flirting technique and how successful is he?

The first thing I noticed was you wrote specifically that he "has no faith in his art", but it's his favorite possession; perhaps you should expand on that. He seems to contradict himself, and maybe he does, but if so, you should definitely expound on it. Also, it wouldn't hurt to elaborate on his perversion. It's a keyword you use often, so expanding on the details or area in which he struggles would definitely help his character development.

expand on the nature things, just Mannerism: flirty gives very little information. What is his favourite flirting technique and how successful is he?

He does attempts to to flirt with most of the others students, His flirting techiques are casual and subtle, and he'll backs off if someone tells him to stop or is dating or if they're lesbians or straight guys which fails most of the time

The first thing I noticed was you wrote specifically that he "has no faith in his art", but it's his favorite possession; perhaps you should expand on that. He seems to contradict himself, and maybe he does, but if so, you should definitely expound on it. Also, it wouldn't hurt to elaborate on his perversion. It's a keyword you use often, so expanding on the details or area in which he struggles would definitely help his character development.

He likes his art but he thinks that noone else likes it

He does attempts to to flirt with most of the others students, His flirting techiques are casual and subtle, and he'll backs off if someone tells him to stop or is dating or if they're lesbians or straight guys which fails most of the time

I see, make sure you write things like that down somewhere and keep expanding on small unspecified characteristics no matter how small. Also, a fun thing to do that definitely helps is making a list of things your readers will probably never know about the character. It helps to give more depth than you seem to have now.