I know I've been posting a lot of characters lately, but this one seriously needs a critiquing, as she sometimes toes the line of not being as relevant as the other characters. That being said, thanks in advance character critique fam for your helpful criticism! Anyone and everyone, please help!
I forgot the link!! That's embarrassing…
Yay characters!! My actual hype~~ OK, top down…
QUEEN! Literally. (Ooh. What happened in book 3??)
Hmm. Okay, the prejudice section is a little weird. I mean, it's a dislike, but I'm not sure if it's a ~prejudice.~ Also, if she wants to save everyone, why would she be annoyed that they don't try to save themselves?
Aha! No politics? But–she's a leader? You MUST put politics for this character! If you can't think of anything or it's too complex, I find it helpful to rate my characters on a scale of liberal-ness. It just explains their responses to certain problems.
AWESOME job on the backstory!!! Nearly everything is tied in. Honestly, I can't find much here.
Okay, overall! Honestly, I could't find many problems with this character. The biggest problem is definitely that politics blip (in my opinion). You've got everything super well-developed!! And hey, if you don't think she's as relevant as the other characters, maybe switch things up! I can't speak for your book's structure, but if you want to give more insight to her as a character, I would recommend things like flashbacks and POV changes (not necessarily 1st person; using 3rd person limited is a great way to do a subtle POV change!). To add relevance, just get ~deeper~ into her character!
I hope that this helps you!! :DDD
Well, for one, control of gravity is scientifically improbable, as you would have to create another Earth with change just to get something off the ground. So that's bull.
I agree with you that this character is a bit flat.
She's got a fleshed-out background, but little personality.
You put her favorite fruit as 'salad.' Kale salad? Fruit salad? Potato salad? Why does she like it? Are greens and fruit a rare pleasure in her realm? Did her mother grow said food in the backyard?
As an uptight leader, does she have Marie Antoinette Syndrome? Does she have wrinkles under her eyes from lack of sleep? As a 21 year-old, does she only act maternally to children and teens, or does she take that tone with adults, as well? Why does she want to become a trainer?
Does she keep hydrated during the dry curse, using her political and economic power to keep healthy, or does she forfeit her own food and water so that others may be happy instead?
Is she an ambitious person, wishing to climb to the top and lead all, or is she happy where she is? Does she have a large ego?
I think it would be cool to add something to her face, I haven't read your books (yet) but if you had like elemental races or whatever, it might be cool to add a facial gem or tattoo. Such as an aquamarine teardrop gem just under her left eye. It could also be a sapphire.