forum Opinions on character?

Started March 05, 2018 by Saph Sparrow

tune

Could you give opinions, tips or ideas for this character?

Thank you people of this website

I don't have permission to look at your character! Can you change the privacy settings, please?

Oops sorry!!!

It should be fixed now!

Hi! I noticed you had a hard time describing his skin tone! The website is usually a huge help to me so hopefully it'll help you too! https://kathysteinemann.com/Musings/colors/

What an interesting character. There's not much to critique –he's almost perfect lol. The first think I noticed was what you have in the mannerisms section. A mannerism is a repeated action a person does habitually and subconsciously. So biting your nails when nervous, standing on your tiptoes, playing with your hair –those are all mannerisms. What you have listed in mannerisms can go in personality type or somewhere similar. His motivation is a little vague. Maybe expound on it more: Why does he want to affect the greater good? Who intimidates him? Why? Also, his flaws. Asthma, anxiety, and PTSD are not flaws. They can't be controlled and are completely involuntary. Also, if he's rude and overcautious, how does he let people intimidate him? (Referencing his motivation) Lastly, I would say expound on his backstory more, but since the story (I think) follows his entire life, it isn't that necessary.

Otherwise, I have to gush. You're so in-depth! And the thing about his favorite color –small things like that really go a long way in developing your character. I seriously loved that. Great job on him and good luck. :D