forum Mind taking a look at this new character?

Started April 29, 2019 by @Kinarymo

tune

She's fairly new, and im not exactly good at writing girls…

I'll give this a go, if you don't mind! :)

• "Appears female" is Lilly trans? In which case it comes off a lil wonky to say "appears", just putting "female" or "she/her" is fine. Or, can Lilly change her gender, by extension of being a creature who can shapeshift? A snake still has an assigned gender, and you acknowledge this in your Species category.
• I really like how you describe her true form :) You talk of their being two sub-species of Morphidae: which is she?
• Good work on the mannerisms, those are very developed!
• wow how do Morphidaes play basketball?? Genuinely curious, can they slither and turn that fast?
• "As a mother, she no longer has that air of confidence specific to her, instead being quite shy, stressed and insecure, unsure of what to do." I was unsure at first, so maybe specify that this is only around her child, so behind closed doors: I assume she is still confident and serious at work, and that having a child didn't completely change her as a person.
• The love story between her and the Avatar is really sweet :)
• UMMMM???? YOU HIT ME OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE END OF THAT BACKSTORY, I THOUGHT THERE WOULD A HAPPY ENDING I,,,,,, LITERALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES BRO HAHAA ugghhhhh that's so sad fUCK
• I don't think you should be at all worried about "not being good at writing girls", you've created a very believable and likeable woman here! :) She is not perfect, and better at her job than at her household chores, which I particularly like, as traditionally, it's the other way around :/ LOVE that Avatar is the stay-at-home parent, I LOVE role reversals, I love drop-kicking gender roles on their heads.

Phew,, This was more praise than critique haha, you're worldbuilding is amazing!! Really developed, and the characters fit into it very well. I am curious, what happened to Avatar? After the disappearance of Lilly. This was a very interesting read, and good luck with your story and development!

Ahuhuhu tysm!! I almost forgot about this post, I thought no one would answer qwq
Well, i kinda intended for Morphidae to be genderless, but since she is fulfilling a female role, i guess i should stick with that. Thx for pointing it out o3o
Lilly is a polar Morphidae - i thought i mentioned here too but it turns out i only mentioned this detail in her husband's backstory. And no, they don't play basketball in their true form, they use the humanoid form for that qwq. But in theory, they could play :'))
Thx for the feedback, it really helps! (and it warms my heart at the same time, tyms oml qwq) As for Avatar, he had it rough :'))
There he is, in case if you want to take a look at him –> Tierlan (idk if you've seen him before, but i did change some info about him, so would you mind if i ask to take a quick peek at him and tell me what u think? qwq)
Again, tysm for the feedback q3q!!

Ahh, thanks for the clarifications! :) And I'm so happy I could help!! And I have not seen Avatar before, and am all for giving him a look ^^

• DID YOU????? ACTUALLY DRAW THAT GALLERY PIC??? GOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL HE'S BEAUTIFUL seriously your style is amazing, I'm so impressed!!! <3 <3 <3 (I'm sorry I went straight for that, I'm a sucker for good art and for character art and just. ugh. gorgeous.)
• "thin red lips" naturally? or does he wear lipstick? Either way love that particular design choice, it stands out.
• I think there's a small typo, if you don;t mind me pointing out: do you mean "disgusted" or "disguised" in the hair color section?
• he smells nice :') <3
• Again, your mannerisms are so in depth and it really helps imagine the character.
• I love a soft man, you don't even know. I love a soft, non-traditional man, so so much. I love him
• I see that he is kind to everyone, has a heart of gold, gives unconditional love to everyone: is he very naive? Does he automatically trust people he is nice to, or does he still keep some distance? What does it take to break that trust?
• oooohhh I'm very curious about the "losing his family", he is not aware that his wife and child escaped?
• That bit about ducks is <3 <3 <3 chef kiss
• The backstory ends sweet, thank god :')

Again, not a lot of critique haha, but you've written and developed him so much and it really shows. He's very lovable, one of my favorite male character tropes. I hope he becomes happy again haha, you have a talent for making me grow attached :')

Ayy, thanks again for the feedback qwq <3 i appreciate it so much ❤
• Haha, yes i did draw that. Most of the pics are all my art (except for one, that someone drew for me) but bcz of site limitations, the pics are usually posted as links in the "Visual Reference" field. If we ever cross paths again, you might wanna check that out :')) All my character art goes to my DA or Instagram page (i love drawing characters a lot so :')) ) Also, that pic is pretty old, i drew it like 2 yrs ago, and Avatar's design has changed a little bit, so i guess i could say its not entirely accurate anymore? qwq (he looks pretty much the same, just his ears are different). If you want i could send you more of my character art 😅
• i'd say natural red lips - not bright lipstick red, but like, the natural type that makes u notice them when u look at his face
• oh damn, ur right i did make a typo :0 i meant "disguised" :')) thx for pointing it out qwq
• i love soft men too, they make my heart squeeze 😩❤ That's one of the main reason Avatar ended up so soft
• he's not exactly naive. I mean, he is a nice and polite person in general, but from there to actually trusting someone, its a long way to go. Especially humans. He doesnt trust humans at all, but he still acts nice towards them. As for breaking his trust? Hurting him or someone he cares for can do that very easily :'))
• nope, he has no idea they made it. Because they were seprated and Avatar could not find them, they are presumed dead; the wife would have tried looking for him, but since she didnt, its assumed she didnt make it - the child was wayy to small to be able to look for their parent, so naturally its assumed they died too. You could read the child's profile too if you want (completing the family :')) ) –> Narion Krysmenor
• ducks are absolute pure beans, i love them (i transfered my love for ducks to him :')) )
Thank you for taking a look at him, i appreciate it so much qwq. He is the second character (his kid was the first) i created for this story, so naturally he's been on my mind for a long time :'))
Thank u again for the feedback o3o ❤❤