I just….
I love Marlin and Gerrua so freaking much
They're both D&D characters of mine, and they're both idiots (they actually both have high intelligence, but there are different types of intelligence and they ain't got any of the necessary ones)
Marlin is a gold dragonborn who is a rogue…pretending to be a warlock, because he thinks it'll make people like him more. He's confident and absolutely has no qualms or concerns about this pretense. Dust of Sneezing and Choking? Wondrous item, technically, but normal dust will do exactly the same thing, honestly. Expeditious Retreat? Anyone can run super fast if they get frightened enough. Charm Person? Please. He's really, really charismatic. He can befriend anyone. And as long as there are no other warlocks or wizards in the party, he's all good!
I mean, he's got no dexterity, strength or constitution, but don't worry about it. His only inventory item is a shovel, do not question him, he's a warlock, he knows what he's doing.
How can I NOT love this dorky, lonely, desperate for approval, useless sweetheart?
Then there's Gerrua, a half-orc barbarian who's a sweetboi softheart. He's got a pet cow he rescued from an abandoned farm, her name is Sam, and he CANNOT Rage.
Which is a problem for a barbarian, right? He's just too nice. He banished himself from his tribe in disgrace, and went on a journey to find who he truly is. Then he met Tristal, a spiderborn (homebrew race, my sibling's chara), a bard who's original compositions got them kicked out of their order of bards for how 'hideous' it was. it's heavy metal. Think like, Doom eternal soundrack.
Anyways, they find out that Gerrua CAN Rage, but only if he hears Tristal's music. Since he can only Rage with music, and he's the only one who's ever liked Tristal's works, the two are now inseparable, and absolute besties.
Also, Gerrua rides Sam like a war-mount. Sam is an attack cow, and she will head-butt and trample you.
Anyway. I love them so much.