forum is this a good background story?

Started January 30, 2018 by @itskayhere

tune

My main character Asha is a foster kid (not anymore since she's 18) and she is one of the kids who were bounced around from one foster to another, since she was five. When she was five years old in the middle of kindergarten year, after school her parents didn't pick her up and was put in foster care. They didn't know how to deal with a five year old who had Asperger so they never came back for her.

She had one foster family she loved her dearly, Because of these foster parents, who one was a science teach, really helped Asha explore the scientific world tremendously. Taught her everything from volcano and the Himalayas to naming each bone of the human body. and was going to stay with them but the foster mom got really sick and Asha couldn't stay with them any longer. So Asha continuously got moved from one place to another. She was with them for three years.

When she got placed with the other foster families they were nothing like the foster family she loved before. Any other family she was placed with after that they were terrible people. Either she said the wrong thing and was abused physically or verbally, or they ignored her.

But she would have never made it through any of it without one Mel her best friend who was always in the same house as she was. and two the the foster family with Science teacher mom who taught her not only Science but to stand up for herself.

Her best friend Mel she met on her second night in the group home. She was crying because the kids were picking on her because she was "different." she saw a small red headed girl, who happened to be Mel, marching over and push the other kids away from her. She grabbed Asha's hand and walked away to the other side of the room and wiped away her tears and let her hold her stuffed dolphin, which she still keeps in her possession.

Since both girls were in the smart foster family's house for so long, four years, they were able to go advance themselves to high school early at the age of fourteen. Blue River College, a very prestige high school for advanced students. (A ivy league type school, but high school version and free, only admitted in by references) so after high school they were able to get into The Jeffersonian (Seattle) Institution.

Once they got to Seattle, Washington to come to school they learned adult life as really just started. They though after years of being in Foster care would help prepare them. But going to a school where everyone is the best and having to find a away to both fit and stand out. Then on top of that, they were promised a full scholarship under Complex Magazine (not the really one in the real world) if they work or internshiped with them the same time while going to school.

Hello~ let's take a look!
First of all, I don't know anything about Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not sure when it's diagnosed, but if her parents didn't want to put up with her, why did they keep her for five years? (This only makes sense if her condition was diagnosed recently to the events of the story)

I loved the part about her finding a nice science-y foster family :) But, I'm not sure if they would put her up for another foster family because the mom gets sick. If they really loved each other, Asha would want to be by her foster mother's side and support her through her illness. Once again, I don't know how the foster system works.

I'm a little confused about Mel. I'm not sure if realistically two foster kids can always be granted the same foster family at the same exact time. You could have a scenario where they are put in the same foster family one time, but I don't think it's realistic for them to be grouped together in the same families every time.

I really liked Mel's backstory, it's very heartwarming and cute :) An interesting thing you can do is have Mel and Asha be super close, but then separated into different families. You can show their struggles without each other, and attempts to contact each other.

Some clarity on the high school system would be nice too. In real high school, freshman year (first high school year just in case you dont know, I know some countries don't name their grades like the USA does) starts when you are 14. So having them enter high school at 14 is totally realistic, but they wouldn't be entering early, they would be entering on time.

I hope I could help!! :D You're story sounds really interesting and it's a great start :) Just fill in some plot holes and you'll be good to go!! :D
Happy writing
Grace <3

Aspergers is usually diagnosed during the toddler ages if it is caught early, so that part was good.
I agree with Grace about how it is probably very unlikely that they would be together in every foster home unless they were group homes. In that case, I would assume if one was moved the other wouldn't be moved at the same time. I really like the idea of showing their struggle with being apart from each other.
What time period is this in? Because if it was written in the 80s or before 14 was still middle school, but only by a year (at least in the USA).
This is a really cute story idea and I can't wait to see what else you come up with!! <3