forum In Need of Critiques!
Started by @darling-velocipede group
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@WriteOutofTime

Hello! I'll critique :D
First thing I notice is the name! Not a terrible name, but still a mouthful. I honestly think Alessandra Lanslet is enough, or Alessandra Rose Lanslet. Just me being nit-picky, I guess. Anyways, let me start the real critique:

Mannerisms! I love the one you have, but most people have more than one mannerism. You should add a few more. I love her motivation, flaws, and prejudice. I really, really like her talent, too. It's different than what you would expect of a spoiled princess, and for that I'm really impressed. Her personality type could use a bit more fleshing out. How does she act around family? Strangers? Is she more bold around certain people? How easy is it to anger her? Etc.

Okay, everything else seems really good except the backstory. It's so short! Flesh it out, add detail, talk more about her relationships with friends/father/mother/anyone else. Talk about the things that shaped her.

Otherwise, I think she's a solid character. The spoiled princess trope is a bit cliché, but most things are. I think if you put your own spin on it, she could be a really effective character. Good luck!