forum I think I'm finally ready to share my main character. Critique please?

Started March 31, 2018 by @Becfromthedead group

tune

Don't hold back, as long as it's constructive criticism!

This is such a cool character! The only thing I have to critique are the flaws. They work well for this character, but they are all nice and not very…serious. I love seeing characters with intense and serious flaws that could have a huge impact on the story.

Thanks! Yeah, I think some of my wording there was off. I probably should have gone with "coward" instead of "easily scared." The latter implies he'll run away from a spider while the former implies he'll run away from a fight when his friends need him. Would that make it better?

Yes, that would be perfect! That way the plot can easily be altered by one action because of the characters flaws.

Okay, thank you so much!

Cool character! Here we go:

First thing I notice that seems a bit off is his motivation. It's a bit weak and needs some explanation. Fear of…what? What is he afraid of? Does that fear force him to do certain things that he normally wouldn't? And what does he consider to be "the right thing"? Does he want to better humanity, or just his community, or his family? Flaws are good, but I think you could stand to add a few more. Really delve deep and think about your character as a person. Try to figure out what other parts of his personality he struggles with. As for prejudices, here's the definition of a prejudice: preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. Basically, a prejudice is a bad thing. It's making generalizations and disliking someone or something for some arbitrary reason. Like sexism, or racism, or anything like that. Most people have prejudices, even if they're mild or subconscious. I like the talents and hobbies, but the personality type could be a bit stronger. You kind of just have a laundry list of different traits without context. Hw does he act around people? Around strangers, friends, family? As an introvert, how does he view the world around him? Tell us more! The traits you listed are fine, but add some context around them.

I see an immediate contradiction! If he is motivated by doing the right thing, why is he a thief? Does it bother him? Is he always wrestling with guilt? His backstory doesn't quite explain why he decided to be a thief. In fact, although the backstory is good, it could be a bit more in-depth. Go into his relationship with his father, how it affected him when he died, what it was like to be a thief, if he's trying to find his "Dead" mother, etc.

Sorry that was so long! I just really like this character so I wanted to give an in-depth analysis. Thanks for sharing! Good luck :D

It's fine! I'm glad I got any criticism at all, and the main reason I put this out there was so that I could figure out how to better set up my character profiles. This is all really helpful. He's got a really strange duality, and it's hard to explain through a character sheet alone.
Motivations are a really tough thing to write about, if I'm being honest… I guess it's safe to say he's definitely fear-driven at first. He makes an agreement with a girl he doesn't know to save his own life because she's got him vulnerable. He's not quick to pick a fight. However, he's got an altruistic side, too, and really likes the idea of working for the "greater good." He offers to help a young man save his hostage sister, and after he learns he will never be able to bring his father back from the dead, he decides that his life has little purpose for him, and that he has to help others now.
Flaws: I tried looking up lists of character flaws, and nothing clicks with his personality aside from what he already has, so I'm not sure what to do about that. It's really tricky. His personality overall could use a bit more explanation, though. You're right about that. I'll go back in later and elaborate.
On being a walking contradiction (because to be honest, he is): Being a thief was the only way he thought he could survive after his father died; he likely would have died had he turned to begging on the streets. However, there were probably better solutions. This was just his thought process as a 13-year-old, and it kind of became habit. It's something that eats away at him, even though the nature of his crimes isn't as bad as he would lead you to believe. Mostly, he chose to steal necessities, and even then, not from people who needed them more than he did. Again, strong moral code, but motivated by fear.
About his mother, Xander never actively looked for her. He didn't know to look. He at some point says that he couldn't find her grave if he tried. The reason he does find out about the situation is because he meets the two sisters he didn't know he had (they don't know until later on, though, when they realize they have strangely similar, but opposite pasts, in addition to sharing a surname.)
Does that all explain things a little more?

Yes, that clears up a lot! I hope it helped you some to write all that out. Great job on this character, he seems really interesting :D

Yes, absolutely! I'm really relieved to finally get this out there. I actually created him and his story at least 2 years ago, and I'm working on the second draft currently, so there's been a lot of time and effort put in. I'm glad you like him!