forum i needs critique for two of my charactors

Started December 07, 2019 by @oop-salami

tune

tell me i'm terrible and i'll take a note of it. .-.

I'm not very good at critiques, but I could have a go

yeah neither am i. that's why i'm asking you xD. should i describe in a lot of detail or just the basics?

You sont have one of the form things filled on here?

If not, then describe as much about them as you can, their appearance, personality, likes and dislikes, flaws, background, relationships. How they treat kids/animals, what their ideal job would be, things that motivate them etc.

If you do, then just link their profiles after setting the page to public

It's also one in the morning so I'll do them tomorrow

okay. i'll describe them because i haven't made them yet.

name: Irodessa Viender
age: 23
gender: female
personality: soft, emotional, weak
appearance: really short light, faded, green-yellow hair, half sleeve shirt, black leggings, pale, hazel eyes, slim
likes: spending time with loved ones, literally almost anything
dislikes: yelling, alcohol, violence, crying
flaws: sometimes lets emotions get the best of her, doesn't really know how to feel, worries constantly about every little thing
everything else: She treats others with respect and love, although people don't usually treat her the same. She is married to a woman named Charlie, who has a few alcohol problems but treats her good. Irod was in an abusive relationship but she escaped by sneaking away and living with Charlie. She tries to think of a bright side and when she does it helps her to keep living and not kill herself. She's French, American and Pacific Islander. Irodessa has only one sibling, Elliais, who is a psycho.

name: Elliais Viender (Lily)
age: 16
gender: female
personality: charming, smart, loving but hides it with no emotions
appearance: long faded purple hair, dark orange jacket, short sleeve shirt, jeans, black-ish eyes, good body shape
likes: affection, social experiments
dislikes: animal abuse, stereotypes, racism
flaws: covers everything with no emotion, believes that all people are bad and will stab your back at any moment.
everything else: she manipulates people and doesn't mind but she doesn't manipulate Jamie, her significant other. Lily was told by her father that she had to be a man or be nothing, so she murdered him, and her mother. She learned how to do many things alone because Irodessa abandoned her after she figured out Lily murdered everyone. Lily met Jamie in a tree (very romantic i know), and they fled to live with Irod and Charlie. She's French, American and Pacific Islander. Lily learned everything by herself and she 'teaches others the same' by murdering them to 'prove' how 'weak' they are.