Hi, i have a few characters for a collection of short stories im planning called 'Teenagers' and i have a rough outline of who each of them are. If someone could give me an opinion on whether its good or bad or if they want to know more about something/someone that would be fantastic!
CHARACTERS:
Elise McOwens
Punk rock
15
Loves cassowaries
Goes by ‘Eli’
Owns a leather jacket
Outspoken and protective
Loves Star Wars
Pansexual
Friends call her ‘Lisa’
Has short, dyed hair
Doc Marten boots
Grade ten
Felicity Daye
Geek
15
Loves Marvel Movies
Goes by Felix
Owns a Ravenclaw scarf
Writes fanfiction
Straight
She’s an absolute sunshiney sweetheart
Friends call her ‘Elicit’ (Elise’s idea)
Long brown hair
Converse high tops
Grade ten
Alessandra Clain
Aesthetic
14
She can play ukulele
Goes by Sandy
She loves designing outfits
Gay
Creative and witty
Russian (her dad is brazilian and her parents split up)
Friends call her ‘Blue’ (Jason’s Idea)
Short bright blue hair (like Hayley Williams)
Funky tights under circle skirts
Grade ten
Xander Dunning
Dorky
15
Vegetarian
Can name any plant and its uses
Wears button ups and bowties
Can play piano
Bisexual
Spanish
Friends call him Leaf Boy
Nicely styled black hair
Wears cheap dress shoes
Grade Ten
Jason Silas
Athletic
14
Closet K-pop fan
Good at footy
Aces sport and health
Is hella protective of his friends
Friends call him “detka” (baby in russian) because he is the youngest
Dresses like a homeless person
Loves rabbits/bunnies
Hell chill, seems like the kind of person who hates sport
Wears beanies and fingerless gloves
Despite getting A’s in Health, he smokes
Love the diversity!
I love the fact that he smokes, he gives me sort of a 80's or 90's vibe!
I would be careful to make sure your characters are more than a collection of likes, dislikes, and hobbies. While these things can bring out parts of a character it can come off as one dimensional if we aren't given reasons for why they like and do these things. Motivations and general, overarching values (like… desire for truth, protection of friends/family, desire to fit in) are some things to be sure to think about so that when your characters do something, we can get a feeling that there is a "why" behind it and not just something that fits into a list of traits.
So like, for example, with Jason Silas you have him dressing like a homeless person. Is that because he doesn't care about fashion? Is he making a statement? Or is he maybe unable to get nicer clothes?
Or with Xander, is he super into plants because he wants to pursue a career in that? Or is it a hobby? Why is he a vegetarian? Religious reasons? No particular reason?
Why do they all have nicknames? Do all the nicknames have reasons?
I know these are rough outlines of your characters so there might be more than you've put here but I think it's important to maybe zoom out a little and make sure you have the general sense of who the characters are at baseline and then make sure that their lifestyle adds up accordingly. I find that also helps me when trying to develop conflict between characters. A difference in values makes for a much stronger conflict than a difference in hobbies.
I hope I am not coming across as mean or overly critical, I'm just really into character development and want to help people think about aspects they maybe didn't consider! This isn't a dig on the characters or who they are as much as it is general advice!
Good luck with your short stories!!
@Buntecha thank you so much for your critique thingy! I do have loads more on them but that up there is just a basic outline of who they are. For example: Jason wears thoes clothes because he doesnt care and 'Blue' has that nickname because her hair has been bright blue for as long as they can remember (a prank from her brother when she was in grade seven lead her to the discovery that she quite likes it blue)
No problem! I figured these were just brief previews, and those reasons do make them all sound like interesting characters! ^u^