so one of my main characters has a lot of pent up frustration and usually takes it out on people in violent ways that she finds that she can't really control in the moment, but always regrets afterwards. i did a lot of research on violent tendencies and what drives people to act on them, but i can't find a lot of sources that give any advice on how to handle violent tendencies besides taking deep breaths (which i found in my research that a lot of people with violent tendencies have trouble doing in the moment) and/or going to therapy (which she definitely doesn't have access to) so i was wondering if anyone knows anything about controlling violent thoughts and/or actions
Maybe have her carry something squishable around (that won't pop when stabbed with her nails) like playdough, clay or a stress ball. She could also have a punching bag in her room that she beats up on before she sleeps.
Hope this helps.
putting a trigger warning here for self harm
Spoiler - click to show.
actually, i know a lot about this because well…i have a lot of violent tendencies that i can't control. i know this is unconventional and anyone here that's suffering from the same thing shouldn't do this. Go to therapy and talk to someone about it. But uhm, whenever it gets really bad- like i feel like i might actually hurt someone and possibly end their life, i … cut myself. i carry a razor around for safe measure because it's the only way i know how. all the "calming down" methods don't work and while i am seeking therapy and trying to get help with this, the thoughts and constant anger drive me to make bad decisions. i've been like this since i was a kid and actually have had several of incidents where i've hurts others really bad. so to counter that i self harm, because i rather hurt myself than anyone else, it's not their fault even though most of the time they do instigate it, but they shouldn't deserve to die just because i can't control myself.
and yeah, hurting myself helps because it kinda snaps me out of it, but the cuts have to be deep or else it won't work. the burning helps me come back to the here and now and seeing the red pour out kinda mesmerizes me and distracts me for a while, enough to help me calm down. and even then im not always able to do it in time and i end up yelling and getting out of control.
Well I used to use a version of the above mentioned method
Spoiler - click to show.
Namely digging my nails into my hand or scratching the skin off of my hand
But as of late I've been able to avoid that. Usually I'll just stop and think logically. Would kicking that chair over solve anything, no, so why do it. What would breaking this plate do, it would make a mess and I'd get yelled at, That's causing Problems not solving them. If I punch this person, I will be in trouble no matter what they did it will be my fault, that's not worth the trouble don't do it. That doesn't get rid of the urge, not at all, it just discourages me enough to hold out until I can go rip up some paper or snap some pencils in half. If I can't wait for paper or pencils I have snapped my hair before, just taking a few strands and ripping through them.
okay thanks so much for the advice guys and @PsychedelicMind are you okay?
okay thanks so much for the advice guys and @PsychedelicMind are you okay?
no problemo !!
AHAHA THAT DEADASS MADE ME LAUGH
but, if you really have to know, then no, not really lmao i just came back from the emergency room/psych ward cause i tried to kill myself (and failed lol) though, i appreciate the concern
and i mean, i have all of you so i should be fine, you guys try to stop me when im doing something stupid and help me (kinda) with my depressive bullshit
im just a dumb little shit, dont mind me
(i’m so sorry. if you ever need anything, feel free to reach out)
(that goes for you too @Relsey)
(i’m so sorry. if you ever need anything, feel free to reach out)
don't be, it's alrighty
thanks my dude, i'll keep that in mind <3
I don't have anger issues by any stretch of the imagination, but my sibling and I have struggled with irrational annoyance and short tempers on and off a lot over the years. One thing I always found that helped, at least some, was intense physical exercise. For me, I would get angry about little things purely because I had the extra energy to do so. But after a hard day at work or in the garden, I become much more mellow because I don't even have the energy to care about most stuff. Getting mad just isn't worth the effort. Plus I think physical exercise can be a natural mood booster anyway, for some people.
Maybe your character goes out running when she's angry, or does pushups until she collapses, or uses a punching bag like someone else suggested? It might be a good way to feel like she's "fighting" something without actually hurting anyone. Just a thought ^^
ok thanks!! that fits very well with her daily routine anyway, so that shouldn't be too hard to write in
(that goes for you too @Relsey)
I'm good, It's gotten better in the past few years.
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