forum I'll judge your babies!
Started by @sharkfinn_ey
tune

people_alt 8 followers

@sharkfinn_ey

heyy, I'd love to critique your characters!

If you comment their link (one at a time please) I'll try to take a look at them as soon as possible an give some advice, tips, compliments etc etc.

@sharkfinn_ey

Hii, would you mind taking a look at him?

Thank you in advance:)

He looks good so far! maybe a bit underweight but you call him slim/slender so that applies I think!
You mention he has a couple scars, where on his body are those and does he care about the scars? (is he proud about them or does he hates them/think they're ugly?).

His motivations are vague to me yet because I havent looked at the universe he belongs in yet (I can if you want me to?). Why is he so bored? what happens when he's bored, does he start to overthink? What makes him less bored?
Love love loveeee his flaws, well done! fits with his looks as well if you ask me.

Where did he learn all the languages? does he love learning?
Hobbies are great, maybe get a branch of philosophy he thinks is most interesting?

I really like the religion part, but that's just me because my Main Character is Satan.
I wonder about his favourite weapon, since he doesn't want to get blood on it, does he use it a lot if it coes to a fight? or maybe he just decides on another weapon if it gets to it.

I like how he turned that German Spy down and his motivation behind that. More like he doesn't care about the politics behind a kill I think.

That's all the questions I've got! I think you've got an interesting character and I'm very curious about the story he's in!

@sharkfinn_ey

Hi! Take a look at mine?

Heyhey,

Well I'll dive in immediately; what does the scar on his chest look like? It's a very interesting detail.
His mannerisms are kinda cliche but like very living person i know does these things so they work! maybe add a little individual (or however that's spelled) mannerism.
Motivations are good, but how does he feel about all the deaths it'll cause?
Talents are good as well, he feels like a leader or an advisor. (maybe a combination of both, but for me he leans more toward the 'advisor' side)

I loveeee that you make him the all tough guy with the scarred eye and chest who's wise and manipulative and then give him that cute 'loves bunnies because friend/family loves them'!

Background is good, this makes him look very protective over his people.

Good character, nothing to complain about to be honest (which is good!). I don't really get a visual character from him tough. Like, I can't imagine him beyond the scars. Maybe you could flesh that out a bit more?

@fyodears

Hai hello, thanks for the advice!
I've added a few more kilos to him (gotta make those toned muscles weight heh), and I'll have to think about the scars, because I honestly didn't think about where they were.
You can totally look at the universe if you want to, I think it helps clarify some of your doubts!
Yeah he does love learning, and he learns real quick, that's why he has many skills.
He thinks his Spyderco Civilian is specially beautiful, and since it has a really thin pointy edge, he'd be sad if it broke during a fight/while torturing, so nope, he just likes to show it off.
Yesss he has really strong ideals and would never hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it, I wanted that to be perfectly clear because I wanted to show he's not that much of a monster.
Thank you again:)

@sharkfinn_ey

Thanks for the advice!!! One question: What about him makes you think he's more of an advisor than a leader? Just out of curiosity.

I think it's the reading part, the love for poetry and that makes for me a connection to wisdom-advice-advisor. I think it's great that you take a smart, well-learnt man as a leader, not just someone who fights and that's it.

@sharkfinn_ey

This is Markus. Be warned, his personality might be a little messy:) I've been adding some stuff to it.

Heyy,
I'm quite confused about his eyecolour to be honest? It now seems like they're hazel but if you look very well you see colours underneath the hazel? Why's that?
Where do the scars come from and how does he feel about them?
How does his anxiety and panic attacks have impact on his life? Does it make him afraid to (for example) be in large groups or go the the supermarket alone?
What does his panic attacks look like?
Flaws are great:)

Maybe give him some other talents that have nothing to do with fighting and all that, something outside that to prevent turning him into a fighter and just that.
Personality type is just sooo good!
favourite possesion is so pure and cute o my god.

You mention his father is abusive, how does he deal with that? Does he have a love-hate relationship (it's still his father and it's very hard for abuse-victims to hate their abusive relatives because most of the time they're kinda okay -side note, I read this in a book about self-harm where the therapist dealt with a lot of abuse-victims).
You can have him in conflict about himself and about how he thinks he should feel towards his father.
I think it's complicated, but the fact that you mention he got his favourite weapon from his father.
I think you should do something with that.

O MY GOD a future family section that's so amazing! I love it when abused characters look into the future and know that there, in fact, is a future where things will be good!
10/10, love that so much.
Favourite holiday, just too cute omg. I havent even read everleigh but shipping it already.

Love his relation with Camie, maybe tell us what kind of pranks? I love pranks haha
I wonder why his father taught him how to fight, because most abusers want their target to be as weak as possible.

I'd maybe expand the fighting style a bit. like, what weapons, what fighting styles (kickboxing, teakwando, jijitsu etc etc).

That's it! I love how you made all the extra sections, it really fleshes him out so much!

@@Rubyjane

Nouc:
His eyes are multicolored, its actually pretty normal in my world.
The scars are mostly from his dad, and some are from his training. While others are just natural little boy scars. He doesn't care about the ones on his arms and legs, but the ones on his torso (specifically his back) Really embarrass him.
His anxiety and panic attacks are a fairly new thing that I've added. His panic attacks mostly happen when he is in a tight and enclosed area. They also happen when he loses a competition(something that would've resulted in a punishment in his childhood)
I'm planning to add some more talents, I'm just waiting to figure out the right ones for his personality.
I love his favorite possession XD
He still tries to love and please his father. Markus enjoyed the time with his father when his father was pleased with him. So he always tried to gain his father's approval so that they could be the way Markus thought they should.(I have no clue if that makes any sense)
He is in conflict a lot of the story, but then his father hurts Everleigh and well that's that. Yeah the weapon, I'm planning to do something with that, just not sure what yet.
I'm so glad you liked it! It was os much fun to give him a good future with an amazing spouse and kids he loves.
The holiday part was one of my favorites:)
I'll add more about the pranks.
Well his father had the upper hand. Also his father was abusing his son because of anger, but because he wanted to keep Markus under his thumb. Also most of the punishments had nothing to do with how strong Markus is, so it wasn't a big deal.
I'm glad you liked the extra sections! Thank you so much for all the complements! I hope my answers where clear:)

@sharkfinn_ey

Here is my baby Lucas.

Heyy,
You mention he's 13, and for that age he's really tall. Is that something he was bullied about?At what age did the bullying start?

His hobbies are so original, love them! I've tried needle felting and it's really cool and helped me calm down with my own anxiety attacks.
I feel like you know what you're talking about when you're mentioning the mental ilnesses/disorders, and I'm happy about that.
He's a round character, not a flat cliche. I do wonder how he manages to keep his grades so high while all the mental stuff takes their toll.

I like how you put the politics part, I'll do the same for my characters when I get to it, because it makes everything very clear.
It's also easy when a discussion about one of these topics come up.

I'm reading through his backstory now, and I noticed the sexual thing between him and that bully-girl. That's a great start for him to start thinking about his own sexuality, certainly at that age.
I don't think it's realistic to say 'he is asexual because of a girl he liked back then but she never liked him back'. To be honest, that's not how that works in my experience.
If you want more information about asexuality, I'd suggest finding someone (online or in real life) and ask them how they discovered they wear asexual/how they dealt with all the sexual attention from others.

I think that's it! He's a round character, but I'd suggest maybe giving him some more 'positive things in life'. I know that's hard but maybe have a random teacher always be kind to him and help him with his classes?

Zen

Good morning! If it isn't too much to ask, could you review my favorite ghostie? I've known how this character acts for so long now, maybe a few years, but for some reason I can't figure out the right things to write down. Could you help me out? Thank you!

@sharkfinn_ey

Good morning! If it isn't too much to ask, could you review my favorite ghostie? I've known how this character acts for so long now, maybe a few years, but for some reason I can't figure out the right things to write down. Could you help me out? Thank you!

Heyy, I think you still have your character on private! If you make them public I'd be glad to help