forum I'll draw characters in return for critique! (Closed for now)
Started by Lottie M
tune

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Lottie M

May I critique as well? I like seeing what other people can do sooooo…….? (I really don't know)

Go for it! The links are in the previous comment ^^

Eunhye

Both characters are really cool! I'd say for Ceri to put her logicality into the flaw section as well, because (Depending on situation) it can get in the way of thinking straight and get stuck on dwelling on/about something, other than that she's awesome!

Lottie M

Both characters are really cool! I'd say for Ceri to put her logicality into the flaw section as well, because (Depending on situation) it can get in the way of thinking straight and get stuck on dwelling on/about something, other than that she's awesome!

Thank you! Which character would like me to draw?

Deleted user

hey do you still need a critique??
sorry i'm v v bored and this is the most interesting thing i do with my life ;v;

Lottie M

hey do you still need a critique??
sorry i'm v v bored and this is the most interesting thing i do with my life ;v;

Yah sure the links are in previous comments.

Deleted user

SO FOR CERI:

  1. so is ceridwen her real name? if so you may want to put ceri as her "other name" because it's a nickname
  2. why is she slightly skinny? just include details. if she's skinny, explain why!
  3. add some more identifying marks! you normally can't just identify someone by their freckles.
  4. what do you mean by "struggles in conversation"? is she socially awkward? (update nvm i read the "socially awkward" flaw)
  5. i wouldn't say she "wants knowledge". just put that she wants to understand how the world works.
  6. occupation - what level of education? i recommend saying she's a scholar or a student depending on her level of education.
  7. who is Pun
  8. Instead of putting "likes honey a lot" in misc. notes, just say honey is her favorite food.
  9. If she has a big appetite, I would be very surprised if she was slightly skinny, unless she exercises a lot and/or is blessed with fast metabolism.
  10. If she hates being rude, why is one of her flaws "concending"?
  11. I don't entirely know how she can be allergic to iron…
  12. Always remembers names? or faces? it's impossible to remember someone's name without remembering their face
  13. "smells like nature" big no-no. some people don't know how to define "nature" as a smell. say something like she smells "woodsy" because at least that brings to mind the smell of wet wood
  14. suspicious about gifts - why?
  15. so she hates people being rude but is condescending herself? i find that a bit hard to believe…
  16. you've already stated before that she hates lies
  17. uhhhh after reading abt her character in general it sounds as if would be basically impossible for her to be irresponsible. heck, if she can remember everything she owes, it'd be pretty hard to forget her homework (or other things like that).
  18. "takes things literally" and "follows to the letter but not the spirit" is kinda redundant.

ANYWAYS HERE'S MY DISCLAIMER because i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings,,
None of this is meant to offend you or anyone in any way, this is just advice!! Take it as a grain of salt if you'd like as it is your character and you don't need to change anything if you don't want to. She's really well developed!

Deleted user

For Pundrion:

  1. How could she be childish if she's 14 and immortal? I am near that age and I know very few people who are at all childish, and that's without the "generation" or knowledge she would have gained. If anything she would be extremely mature.
  2. I wouldn't put "would do anything for the people she loves" as a flaw.
  3. Try using "ambivert" as her personality type. It means that they are extroverted around people but like their alone time.
  4. Not sure why she would get hungry like everyone else if she doesn't need to eat. Maybe she gets cravings or its a habit of hers to eat at certain times.
  5. You put they were disguised by griffins but killed by griffins. Were they found out and subsequently ruled traitors, and then killed?
  6. You've stated that the slaves are locked in human form, but later you state that she is able to turn into various different forms.
  7. I find it surprising that in all her time alive she hasn't been to a formal event.
  8. How is she amazed by hoodies? Does she just like them? As well as this, does her "charm" mean she can just summon whatever clothes she wants? Maybe just clarify it.

Lottie M

@LonelyPotato101 Thank you! Many of things you mentioned I'm still wondering about, for example all of the misc notes for Ceri are things I'm still working/deciding on and deliberately don't really make sense because she's actually a changeling (Faery) but I realised that is the one part I have managed to not copy over from my scratchpad. This is some very helpful criticism, would you like me to draw one of your characters? :)